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move to secondary school I need advice

(3 Posts)
crazedupmom Fri 16-Sep-11 21:34:27

My ds aged 10 is due to start secondary school September 2012.
Decisions are having to be made now as to what school he will attend, his current junior school have sent out the preference forms.
I am in such a pickle about it.
Ds is an only child and although he generally has friends at school he has only ever made two close friends that he likes and wants to spend time with out of school etc.
He can be shy doesn,t always like his peers enough to be good friends with them except two particular lads he has known since nursery school and has remained friends with without going off the friendship like he has done with others.
Whilst ds was in infants and due to move to junior school I had moved house so he was moved to a junior school closer to home away from these two friends I thought he would be okay but he wasn,t really he missed old friends these two lads in particular although I did keep him in touch with them anyway I ended up moving him to the school they went to and everything has been great since.
Ds doesn,t have any friends out of school doesn,t play out etc, not that there are really ever many children around here playing out anyway.
These two friends are the only interaction he has with other children, they come on sleepovers etc a fair bit come for tea after school etc.
I would love for ds to have some mates close to home however to get together with outside of school have a social life etc.
these two close mates and others from his junior school are going to a secondary just up the road from the juniors which is fine for them as they all live within a reasonable distance to walk there whereas we don,t.
I was sort of hoping that by moving ds to a secondary school close to where we live that he would develop some good friends that he could socialise with outside of school pop round to their houses them to ours etc.
The problem with his two close friends is that this is not possible as they live too far away so its always organised for them coming to ours via me and their parents.
Ds ia adament that he wants to go were his mates are going and really cries if he thinks I am going to send him elsewhere.
One of his best friends mom as said that ds can go back to hers after school with her ds if I am not able to pick ds up for work reasons so in practical terms I am sorted there and I know that ds will love that time spent with his mate after school.
I am leaning towards just letting him go to this school but dh says in the long run it won,t be any good for him socially but I also keep thinking that he won,t necessarily lead a good social life just because possible friends will live closer anyway.
Please what do you think I really hope my post makes sense and that I have not rambled on.

mumblechum1 Fri 16-Sep-11 21:40:56

It does make sense, and you haven't rambled, but I strongly suspect that the reality of secondary will be different from what you imagine.

I'd say the majority of kids have a big shift in their friendships in yr7. Previously strong bonds are weakened, esp if they're in different tutor groups, and loads of new bonds are formed.

It's nice if your ds does keep in touch with his current friends, but you absolutely shouldn't depend on it, and should, imo, encourage him, whichever school he goes to, to join lots of clubs in the first term and then choose a couple that he really likes and which he finds friends in. They tend to make friends on the basis of shared interest rather than geographical convencience (unfortunately - I've been a taxi driver for years now!).

Bellavita Fri 16-Sep-11 21:51:39

Agree with mumble.

I have DS in Yr10 who from the minute he started secondary made lots of new friends, he is a kind of shy and sensitive boy. All his primary class (village school) apart from two boys went to his school and he hardly sees any.

DS2 who has just started in YR7 the same is happening to him, although he us much louder than DS1. He has already signed up to help behind the scenes for the school production of Guys and Dolls.

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