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Is your child forgetful? Absent minded?

(4 Posts)
signothetimes Thu 15-Sep-11 15:12:38

How do you deal with it? My 6 yr old lives in her own wee world most of the time. She's a bright girl, clever, knows her stuff when it comes to school work so I know she can pay attention. She just doesn't do it 99% of the time when she's with me. It's driving me nuts! confused

We are about 3/4 weeks into the new school term. DD has left/lost the following items:-

Water bottle (x2)
1 Cardigan (brand new)
1 Jumper (brand new)
2 packed lunch bags
1 purse
Homework wallet (on 3 occasions)
Pencil case
And lots of money

The main problem is with the money - she is now going for school dinners as I thought that might sort the issue with losing packed lunch bags. She is now losing her money. I send her with her dinner money (previously with purse, now that's missing) and she manages to lose it/forget to pay when she's going for lunch. I have received 5 'slips' asking for money not paid for lunch eaten. I have sent DD to school with the replacement money, and that too is being lost. Nothing is reaching the actual till in the dinner hall!

I've tried getting DD to explain how this happens but I'm not getting a straight answer. She really is so oblivious to what goes on around her, that she is being genuine when she says she can't remember 'cos she's been having too much fun with her friends playing dinosaurs or harry potter. She says other people pick up her money that she drops. Sometimes she knows this, but doesn't get the money back, other times she doesn't know she's dropped it. She says the coins change somehow in her pocket from £1 coins to 10p or 20p. I don't think she's spending the money on anything else as there isn't a tuck shop as far as I know - she's told me as much in the past.

She's costing me a fortune! Any suggestions on how to minimise the loss of money/belongings? I've emailed to school asking if I can pay for DD's lunch some other way that by-passes the need for DD to have any cash herself (as she'll just lose it anyway). Not sure they have a system in place that would allow me to do that. All items lost have had her name on them, but I'm guessing as they are brand new, someone's taken a shine to them.

Help?

ripstheirthroatoutliveupstairs Thu 15-Sep-11 21:57:49

How can she lose the money between you (presumably) dropping her off and her paying the cash in?
Is it possible that she is giving it to someone? or being bullied?

Mammonite Thu 15-Sep-11 22:04:57

Sympathy for you , and now I'm feeling DS1 isn't as bad as I thought he was!

I would speak to the teacher TBH, and ask them to keep a little closer eye on proceedings in case they spot whether she is leaving things, or they are being "taken off" her. Is it a big school?

Some children are real fidgeters and if they have coins in their pocket or something, they can't just leave them alone. DS1 is quite bright too but shaping up to be a right absent-minded genius, but his teacher has really worked on his responsibility for belongings at school over the last year.

It's a bit steep IMO to expect primary age children to look after money all morning until the dinner till. I'm glad we don't have that system, there would be no hope!

Not being personal, but does it run in the family!? smile

signothetimes Thu 15-Sep-11 23:54:32

grin It is in the genes yes. That's what probably worries me more! I am not the best at remembering things myself appaullingly disorganised-, but always put that down to my advancing yearshmm. I guess I'd hoped it wasn't something that would be a huge problem once she'd settled in at school with her routine etc. She does inhabit her own wee world a lot of the time, and a simple, basic instruction like 'go and get me your hairbrush' is forgotten in 3 or 4 seconds as she leaves the room and something catches her eye.

I don't get the chance to speak to the teacher now as I'm dropping her off at breakfast club, and she goes to after school care or childminder after school while I'm working. Hence me emailing them to ask for an alternative way to pay. I think I'll try and get away early some time next week and try and speak to the teacher, see what she says.

I don't think it's bullying - she is a happy girl, not really got any worries and doesn't come across as having been intimidated by anyone - but it's possible someone is maybe taking advantage of her naivety, especially when it comes to her money. She did tell me about a girl in her class who picked up a 50p she dropped and 'claimed' it. I don't know of this is happening all the time, or if it's just down to her dropping the money somewhere and she doesn't realise or she does but someone gets there first to pick it up.

I'm actually more pee'd off about the jumper and cardigan as they'll cost me more to replace. Especially with the autumn here and her needing to be kept warmer.

Thanks for the replies. Will try and have a word with the teacher next week and see what happens. Hoping she'll have a miracle cure <hopeful>

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