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Ds exploded at football match

(12 Posts)
mwoo Sun 11-Sep-11 13:30:18

Just been through the most embarrassing and humiliating moment of my parenting career!

My 8 year old ds has literally just imploded at an under 9's football match.

He had a moment yesterday where he shouted back at his manager and then ended in tears and wouldn't join in. We had big chats its not ok to speak to any adult like that even if he is screaming different things at you every few seconds, promises that it would never happen again, he apologised to him this morning before the game, all was good.

They lost their game and he missed a few chances, he ripped of his shirt threw it on the floor and stormed of calling everyone rubbish. Now I never believed in world stood still moments up to then, but all parents on both sides stared in astonishment or apallment (if thats a word) whilst he refused to join the player of the match award, and started crying and didn't stop until we were home, where he stopped crying and I started and havn't stopped yet.

He is an emotional little boy, its his first week back at school, hes knackered and he knows there is no excuse. Hes now shut himself in his bedroom and won't come out, is listening to his music staring at the ceiling.

Where do I go from here,,,,ban him from football?? give him a chance to prove its a one off? I don't think I can go through that again, watching him and wondering if he doesn't score is he going to kick off.

southeastastra Sun 11-Sep-11 13:34:45

did the manager say anything to him? i imagine it happens quite alot at kids football

mwoo Sun 11-Sep-11 13:39:32

My husband took him to the car to get him out of eyes way, I spoke to the manager, he wasn't fazed but made it clear that its not fair on the other kids, which i totally agree with.

When ds apologised this morning he told him he didn't need to these things happen and its good to see passion but it needs to be controlled.

We have a couple of teachers in our parents and one of them spoke to ds yesterday he just said that he had had enough of being shouted at and wanted it to stop.

Madlizzy Sun 11-Sep-11 13:43:31

8 year old boys do find it difficult to control their emotions. What happened is actually no biggie AT all and definitely nothing for you to get so upset about. His team won, he missed a couple of chances so he had a tantrum. Leave him in his room for a while for him to chill out and rest - as you said, he's knackered - and just have gentle chat when he comes down. Lastly, if he'd been getting shouted at constantly, then he's not wrong to want it to stop.

wotabouttheworkers Sun 11-Sep-11 13:48:12

Can understand how your son feels about the shouting. How much use are constant (and perhaps conflicting) instructions yelled from the touchline? Your son's behaviour is not reasonable but you and he obviously accept this. You could agree a match ban with the coach and take your DS to watch so he can see the team can function without him. If he is a better player than the rest you can impress on him how he can help others with practising their skills. If none of that helps and if he remains frustrated you could take him off football for a few weeks, then maybe switch him to a more successful team but say that he has no more chances - any more behaviour like that and he is out for the rest of the season. Really feel for you - hope all calms down and we see him playing for his country one day!

mwoo Sun 11-Sep-11 13:49:36

madlizzy, I know that it the scheme of life this is not a biggie, but at the moment it feels massive, I don't have a problem with him shouting back at the manager in the circumstances yesterday.

He has been playing footie for a couple of years, has played loads of matches and lost the majority of the them and never had a problem with that until today and it was just so explosive and embarassing from him and the team.

Should he apologise to the team next, should I expect him to get dropped, should I ban him from playing?

HallnotOates Sun 11-Sep-11 13:51:02

I had this once. Is he 9?
Give him a final warning.

mwoo Sun 11-Sep-11 13:53:25

hes 8 at the moment, 9 in november, a little one for his age.

(blond hair blue eyed and gorgeous apart from when hes crying then hes red, snotty and miserable!!)

HallnotOates Sun 11-Sep-11 13:54:17

Yes. Firm word. Last warning. Make him apologize to team too.

OvO Sun 11-Sep-11 13:54:43

Talk to him about how feeling frustrated and angry is okay but how he shows this is not. Then talk about ways to cope when he does feel like that.

I'm 30 and still struggle at times so can understand an 8 year old finding it hard.

mwoo Sun 11-Sep-11 13:56:31

there is something that makes this a little trickier that I just realised. Its a team of 7 aside and theres only 7 of them signed on, so if he doesn't play they don't have a team.

Notchattingnow Sun 11-Sep-11 23:13:46

Maybe ban him from one game and then let him play..

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