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To ask if any of you have children with big age gaps between them....

(85 Posts)
SatisfiedOtter Fri 09-Sep-11 20:53:41

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Kayano Fri 09-Sep-11 20:56:00

DH and his bro are 5.5 years between them and had an entertaining time being brought up

However they are seriously best friends now and do anything for each other. It's lovely to see

I'm an only child too

Changing2011 Fri 09-Sep-11 20:56:04

Hi there, I am having a baby in feb, dd will be six next week. Longer gap than I wanted, but I actually think it will be quite nice, she is so much more capable of doing little things for herself and helping now, plus she is sooo excited.

There is 13 years between me and my youngest brother btw. With two in between.

baressentials Fri 09-Sep-11 21:01:06

I have 5years between Dc1 & 2 and 5 years between DC2 & 3. The eldest 2 either get on like a house on fire or bickering like mad. I love the age gaps and it suits our family. The youngest is 18months and the elder 2 both dote on him.
One plus side is that as each child was born the other started school so I have been able to have some 1 on 1 time with each of them.
Plus the older ones can help out alot wink

baressentials Fri 09-Sep-11 21:01:35


whatdyathink Fri 09-Sep-11 21:01:54

DD1 is 21 (first marriage) ds is 11 and dd2 is 5 (second blissful marriage grin) They have very different relationships tbh - dd1 and ds are very close, they utterly adore each other, even though dd no longer lives at home. ds and dd2 again, are very close (nearly six years between them). I'm glad we had dd2 as ds would have been pretty much an only child sort of thing as I was (sister 10 years older) but certainly dd1 and dd2 will have a less brother /sister. more auntie/neice relationship i feel. Still, me and dh are the exhausted ones! grin

RedHelenB Fri 09-Sep-11 21:03:31

There is seven years &5 years between my dds & ntheir brother & they dote on him more & more as he gets older & he absolutely adores them!!!

tralalala Fri 09-Sep-11 21:03:32

dss and ds1 have 9 years between them and are great friends. DS1 and DD1 have 5 years and play together all the time.

mrspear Fri 09-Sep-11 21:04:56


I cannot comment as a mother but i can as a sister. I was six when my sister arrived. We were close but then i hit my teens and our relationship deteriorated; to be honest i am ashamed at how i treated her. We were not close, she says i shouldn't be hard on myself as i pushed everyone away due to mental health issues, and i was not there for her when she went through her teens especially when she had a life changing accident at 16. I was selfish and for that i am truly sorry. But i am now 30 and she is 24 and our relationship is great and probably has been since she became adult and i eventually grew up! We really talk and she is the only one in my family who truly listens and never criticises me. I am feeling emotional now so i shall stop. Just to add she is a wonderful woman and i wish someone would give her a chance and give her a job!

pearlym Fri 09-Sep-11 21:05:10

I have an 18 month gap between my DDs. It is lovely and tobh, I think the best way to do it, as yo get all baby stuff done at same time, they more or less go to school together and can do a lot of the same stuff, but to me, it is the norm as there were 15 months between me and my sibling.
I hope they are close as adults, but I do not think the age gap is the key there, I have friends with all sorts of gaps who are close or not close to siblings, depends on personalities nad life choices, but as kids I deffo think smaller gap is better, IMHO

morrisseysquornmince Fri 09-Sep-11 21:07:00

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TheSecondComing Fri 09-Sep-11 21:11:05

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carciofi Fri 09-Sep-11 21:14:21

I am seven years older than my youngest brother, I adored him from the moment he was born, I thought it was like having my Tiny Tears doll come to life! We've always got on really well.

CarnivalBizarre Fri 09-Sep-11 21:15:25

We had an 8 year gap between having our first 3 DC and our next 3 DC so it was like having two separate families iyswim - our DC are 20, 18, 17, 9, 7 and 5

SatisfiedOtter Fri 09-Sep-11 21:15:51

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marriedinwhite Fri 09-Sep-11 21:16:23

I learnt that you just can't plan it. As an only child (and DH agreed) I was going to have at least three and possibly five. Pg 1, miscarried at 17 weeks (boy) - no explanation, pg 2 resulted in DS although he was almost a month early and almost strangled by the cord, pg 3, 12 week scan showed a tiny empty sac, a "missed abortion", pg 4 - ds2 (or in my mind 4) who was born at 27 weeks with a significant heart deformity (we were advised at 20 week scan that if we got to 32 weeks there would be a chance of successful surgery) - he died a short time after in my arms, pg 5 - dd - pink, fat and healthy at 41.5 weeks after the highest risk and most monitored pg imaginable.

Had I not been determined not to have an only and there were many times when dh wanted to give up and told me I was bonkers, we would never have got beyond 1. We only had a 3.5 year gap but I could have understood others not pursuing the "dream". However, it was hard, very hard, but if things had been different we wouldn't have had the children we have now (17 (almost) and 13) and that would be utterly unimaginable because they they are both, in our eyes, utterly perfect.

You have to work with what circumstances give you I think - often they might not be perfect they are what you have and eventually you come out at the other end. Sorry stream of consciousness.

PS: DS is out, I think I know where he is - I will shout at him when he gets home because he is not replying to my texts !

InWithTheITCrowd Fri 09-Sep-11 21:17:02

Speaking as a sister - there are nearly 16 years between me and my sister. Just us two, and same mum and dad. I am 38 now, and she is my best friend. We've been close all her life in different ways, but our relationship is, and always was, brilliant.

PatsyStone Fri 09-Sep-11 21:17:32

There are 8.5 years between ds (12) and dd (4), they adore each other. They have spent lots of time in the holidays playing schools together which is very sweet of ds, as I think he finds it a little bit dull, although it gives him a chance to boss dd about as I think it's usually the other way round wink. My dh has a much bigger gap between him and his db, and as adults they are close and get on really well.

marriedinwhite Fri 09-Sep-11 21:17:34

Oh, OP, they are the closest pair of siblings you could hope to come across but it wasn't the gap we planned.

Cleverything Fri 09-Sep-11 21:18:16

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madam52 Fri 09-Sep-11 21:18:51

Hi - my children - now grown up - are only 17 months apart but I was a middle child with big gaps on either side of me so l was really like an only child. My oldest brother - now sadly deceased was 9 years older than me and he was a great big brother and we got on great despite age gap. Then my younger brother and sister were born 7 and 9 years after me.
Ironically my younger brother and l are very close and have a really strong bond yet not so much him and my younger sister even though they grew up together.

Cleverything Fri 09-Sep-11 21:20:00

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Kandinsky Fri 09-Sep-11 21:20:13

7 and half years between DS 1 and 2. Have always been very close. Ds2's first word was his brother's name. They have both really benefitted from the relationship and remain just as close even though DS1 is away at university for much of the year. They chat to each other on xbox live.

NormaStanleyFletcher Fri 09-Sep-11 21:20:15

I have three children - DS1 is 22, DS2 is 12, DD is 5

It ends up with the littlers annoying the olders, and the littlers loving the olders, and the olders protecting the littlers and looking out for them.

It is different (my DB is only 15 months younger than me) but it has its own highs and lows

Talker2010 Fri 09-Sep-11 21:20:35

son = 24
daughter = 16

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