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a little voice from the bathroom, saying "Dad, I've finished"...

(15 Posts)
DadsMightFly Tue 06-Sep-11 23:28:24

DS will be six shortly, and it seems to me this might be a good moment to get him to wipe his own botty - I know he does it at school but he seems to prefer valet service when we're around.

Has anyone come up against this refusal to abandon old habits? And if so, how long did you co-operate, and how did it end?

MmeLindor. Tue 06-Sep-11 23:30:36

Um, mine were wiping by the time they were 3yo.

"Sorry, son, but you are on your own", should do it.

iheartdusty Tue 06-Sep-11 23:33:03

Yes, it was somewhere after 6th birthday that DS took on board the idea that he should attend to his own rear end. I think we made him agree that when he turned 6 he would do it every fact, as expected, we gradually phased it out and kept reminding him how old he was and what he'd agreed to. Now at 7.6, it isn't an issue.

MmeLindor. Tue 06-Sep-11 23:38:24

I think you just have to say, "From now on we shall not be doing this for you", and not enter into a discussion.

At 6yo, he is old enough to a) understand and b) do it himself.

Minkyjj Tue 06-Sep-11 23:47:26

I have a six year old who struggles with this and we have tried everything. I get so cheesed off at the negative comments I get from other parents - kids develop at different stages and this is a confidence and coordination issue. We have sought advice from occupational therapy and they have recommended a few exercises to help but they also recommended that we encourage and observe but let him do it then gradually he will do it alone when he gains confidence. Hope that helps smile

MmeLindor. Tue 06-Sep-11 23:54:16

I know that some DC take longer to manage to do some things, but the OP states that his DS wipes his own bum in school, so I presume that he can when he wants to.

colditz Tue 06-Sep-11 23:57:06

refuse to go.

I dealt with Ds2 by shouting "I'm busy, do it yourself!" when he was four

He's a bit old, really, to still be expecting valet service. If he does it at school, he's playing you like a fiddle. Just Say No.

DadsMightFly Wed 07-Sep-11 00:04:22

As @mmeLindor says, DS is (as far as I know) quite capable of wiping his own bum. I think I'm trying to find a humane way of ending what is, after all, a little family ritual. Or am I just waving a flag around saying "Look at Mr. Bonkers"?

MmeLindor. Wed 07-Sep-11 00:07:45

Sorry, but I am laughing at a little family ritual.

It is not really.

Just say no (as they say)

LindsayWagner Wed 07-Sep-11 00:09:17

Hmm not sure. We've been trying to phase it out for a looong time with Dd (just 6) but she still really wants us to, and can get quite upset about it. She does do it at school, but says she's worried that she won't do it properly and hates the thought of having poo on her.
So we sometimes do still, if encouragement/crossness doesn't get anywhere. At some point she'll find the thought of us wiping her arse more embarrassing than the possibility of poo, I guess.. or her skill/confidence will take over.

DadsMightFly Wed 07-Sep-11 00:11:01

I'll be doing something like @IheartDusty suggests - it will work well with the birthday timing. Good to know we're not totally out there smile

MmeLindor. Wed 07-Sep-11 00:12:10

I found that DD managed better with wet wipes than loo roll to begin with.

DadsMightFly Wed 07-Sep-11 10:34:51

@LindsayWagner that's a helpful comment - I've now told DS that we once he's six he's wiping his own botty - can ask us to check that it's clean for a while, but after that he's on his own.

He didn't seem too traumatised smile

LindsayWagner Wed 07-Sep-11 12:57:00

Weirdly MmeL, she's actually fine at wiping - she's just worried that she's not iyswim. And in fact I wasn't clear (sorry, was late!) - she doesn't often want us to do all the wiping, just a 'check wipe'. Still a pain when you're getting tea on the table two flights down!

Noomininoo Fri 09-Sep-11 22:22:39

We're having a similar problem with our 4.3yo DD1. We've been trying to get her to wipe her own bottom for a while in readiness for her starting reception this week but she's still really resistant to the idea.

She will do it reluctantly if we're stood over her watching her & badgering her to do it but even then, she usually does such a half arsed job of it we end up having to finish off with a wet wipe.

She started full time school on Monday & 3 of the past 5 days she's come home from school with some rather nasty stains in her pants blush. I don't know if she just didn't bother to try to wipe or whether she did & just did a bad job of it (she reckons she did try but she's not averse to telling a few porky pies if she thinks it'll get her out of trouble!).

The other things we're constantly having to remind her to do is flush the toilet & wash her hands, even though I know she can do these perfectly well blush. I'm sure with her its just laziness but how to get her over this - no idea...!

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