to 'say ta' or not to 'say ta'....baby language snobbery?

[nello]

the other day my OH told our DD to 'say ta'. It made me cringe...i just hate it. does anyone else have issues with language taught to babies or is it just me?

[usualsuspect]

I don't have an issue with ta

in fact, I still say it sometimes

[whooosh]

I suspect you and I may be in the minority nello.I detest "TA" for no good reason really but have always encouraged DD to say thank you from early on.

[Nagoo]

it's not just you.

I will teach the baby to say ta. And mama and dad-dad until I can get her to say the stuff I want her to say.

It's good to get then to learn that they can make even the most basic noises in the right context IMO

[PontyMython]

I don't particularly like "ta", for some reason it irks me. We always encouraged "thank you", which started out as "daddoo" for both DCs.

Having said that DS's baby signing teacher said it's actually not a good idea to encourage a very young child to say it (or please) because it detracts from the more important words in the sentence - so if the parent says "can I have the ball please" they will latch onto the word please and not learn the word ball.

However despite the fact that I think baby signing is awesome, we decided to ignore that advice :o we never did the please/thank you signs though, just said them, and he picked it up.

[FantasticDay]

Well, it's easier for them to say than Thank you when they are babies. I'd prioritise them learning how to express gratitude over any issues about whether or not it's baby talk / 'common' / whatever...

[PontyMython]

BTW just to clarify I wouldn't be annoyed if anyone said ta, if they couldn't physically say thank you - like any other word, I would never reprimand a child for not pronouncing it properly! I just figure I may as well model/encourage the proper term from the start.

[Pagwatch]

I agree with you but not because of baby talk snobbery.
Baby talk is helpful and a good thing. Babies like it, it is good for speech development.

But I hate teaching manners by telling them to repeat a phrase.
If you want to teach your child to be polite then model it.
I never told my dc to say please or thank you but they have impeccable manners because I say please and thank you to them.

Shouting "say ta" as if it is some toddler magic word and then not saying thank you when your partner makes you a cup of tea, or when your dc helps you pick something up is dim and grottily common.

[JosieRosie]

'Having said that DS's baby signing teacher said it's actually not a good idea to encourage a very young child to say it (or please) because it detracts from the more important words in the sentence - so if the parent says "can I have the ball please" they will latch onto the word please and not learn the word ball'

What PontyMython said. It's a really bad idea to ask a child to copy anything you say - model language for them, but don't ask them to repeat it after you.

[lynniep]

I have no problem at all with my baby saying 'ta'. He's always been very polite and used it! Now his language is ramping up (he's 22 months) I've started prompting him to use 'thanks' or 'thank you' instead, and he's switched to that without any issue.

[JosieRosie]

' never told my dc to say please or thank you but they have impeccable manners because I say please and thank you to them'
And what Pagwatch said

[PontyMython]

That's true of copying in general, I agree - modelling is the best way to get a child to talk, not getting them to repeat something. We would just say thank you when eg he gave us a toy, and he picked it up that way - same as other abstract phrases like "here you go" when giving us something.

You don't tell a child how to walk, and instruct them by saying "right then, stand up and put one foot forward" etc, they just learn it by watching and imitating you when THEY are ready.

[notcitrus]

Ds's nursery said they use 'ta' in the baby room, where they're trying to model individual consonants, but in the toddler room and above it's 'thank you'. We try to model good manners but occasionally prod him when he's trying to wangle an extra treat (but not if he's too upset to use many words)

Seems to have worked - at nearly 3 ds says please and thank you a lot and is extra good at it when Grandma visits. :)

[BodyUnknown]

'Say ta' is fucking awful. Horrid horrid horrid.

[BodyUnknown]

And it is common.

[Ragwort]

I agree - 'ta' is horrible, actually don't think I've heard anyone (baby or otherwise) use that expression - I must mix in very snobby circles .
Also agree that 'modelling language' is the best way.

[Insomnia11]

I like "ta". DDs say thank you, though I taught them both. I still use it msyelf sometimes. Ta luv. Ta-ra chuck. TTFN.

[Insomnia11]

Extra bonus if it pisses off the local snobs. One of the little joys of every day living in a posh area.

[Pagwatch]

I don't mind ta at all.

It is adults shouting say ta! at toddlers which is butt clenchingly grim.

My dad used to do it. The taaaaaaaa was really loud and exaggerated.
I miss him. He was a great guy. But it was bloody annoying.
sorry dad

[Tonksforthememories]

I don't like ta. I freely admit i'm a snob in that respect!

I think i just have issues with baby talk in general, my parents are deaf and never used it with me and DB, so it really grates when MIL says 'going on a tat-ta' or 'need a peep-pees (sleep)'!

DS is 23m and freely uses Please, Thank you, Bless you, and Pardon.

I once corrected FIL because he told DD1 that a horse was a gee-gee. My mum is Gigi to the DCs!

[Nagoo]

Ny Nan is guilty of 'dannies' (hands).

MIL does 'birdies' 'diggies', pluralises everything in a twee fashion actually.

I am of pag if her DCs don't need constant reminding.

I make a point that we all speak politely to children but I still have to remind my 4YO nearly every time he wants me to do something.

[Malcontentinthemiddle]

I hate 'say ta', and I will admit that it isn't because I'd worry they wouldn't end up speaking or understanding full sentences in the long run, it's because it just sounds awful!

Mucky beer, anyone?

[Shallishanti]

what pagwatch said x100 !

I really don't agree that any normal baby is goinf to be confused by hearing people speak in normal sentences!

Nor is it necessary for the people in the baby room to be 'concentrating on individual consonants'

this sort of thing drives me mad

Shallishanti, BSc, Psych.

[Pagwatch]

Arf at nagoo
They are 18, 14 and 9. Perhaps that helps

In fairness I never did have to remind constantly because I never treat 'please' and 'thank you' as if they define manners.

If someone offered dd a cake and she said ' oh they are so beautiful .. Can I really have one...? ' I would not add pleaseee. not least because I think to do so would be rude.
Some people have fucking awful manners but add please and thank you and think it's fine. Like the woman whose dd climbed up on to my dining table, took a biscuit bit it, put it back down on the table then took a cake instead.. Her mother said " said please, poppet" Poppet said "please" and mother beamed with pride.



(and btw I can't leave thread without saying that baby talk is very good for babies. Don't use it if you don't want to. But it can help speech development. The women using it are not stupid - just not to your taste)

[Shallishanti]

yeah, but what sort of baby talk- simplifying what you say etc may be helpful, but pointless to introduce a whole new vocab understood only within the family circle, imo

[inchoccyheaven]

I did all the baby talk and as ds1 was given the award for "walking thesauras" by his yr 6 teacher when he left in summer I don't think it did him any harm

Shallishanti I don't think it matters because in the end they will learn the proper words from others. You don't hear many teenagers saying they have hanny pannies ( hands) etc