How much did you manage to get done with 2 other dc and a nine week old baby?(24 Posts)
Because I had a mini meltdown/ tears etc over my inability to keep on top of things today. Everywhere looks a mess, there's washing everywhere and I think my tiredness is making me like a rabbit in the headlights, completely unable to focus enough to make headway.
What state do you all manage to keep things in? I was reasonably on top of things before and I guess I lose most of the evening to feeding and getting dd2 off to sleep, which was when I used to catch up.
You are doing brilliantly - everyone is still alive and healthy and can wear less now it is summer. You need your sleep and energy for the baby and everything else will just have to wait. LIfe is just not like the adverts (except the one where the friend says the flat has been robbed cos it is in such a state.) Life is just not like that.
Washing is the bane of oall our lives. Can you buy your way out of any of this? Can you tumble dry laundry / send out your washing to be service washed & dried/ buy in a cleaner for a few weeks or a few blitzes? Stop ironing if you do that, or promise yourself ou will do that. Ironing piles are just sources of depression - just put it away and nobody will ever know it's not ironed. Are the kids old enough to play games to help you move stuff - choose thier own laundry out of the pile / pick up ten toys each? Find 5 things to put in the bin? Can you have every meal as a party and use paper plates and cups? Can you cook a lot less - meals can be very nutritious even if you didn't slave over a coooker for ages. Sandwhiches are ace. As are 'feasts' - basically a weird collection of all the things you can find in all the food groups - put it all out together and call it a feast. You get good food down the kids and they think it is a treat. We did this a lot when we were broke and the food we had in the house did not necessrily all go together to form a recognised meal.
Do you just have too much stuff around that needs returning to its right place? Do you wash the kids clothes too often? Can they wear everyhting for a day longer and so reduce the amount of washing you need to do.
Go now and pull out three new binbags. Fill one with clean laudry (from the pile or the drawers) and just hide it somewhere for a couple of months till youfeel better. Fill one with toys that are lying around - they won't even miss them, and if they do just murmur that they must be around here somewhere - if they tidied up they might be able to find it. And fill the last one with other things that annoy you (no, not DH or the DC's...)
Eat outside to save the mess in the house. Go for walks with the kids so they are messing up the park not your house.
Go to other people's houses so they get the mess not you (you can reciprocate when they need the help). Take up aevery offer of help - others minding the kids / coming to visit - make sure they wash up / make you a cup of tea instead of holding the baby. If they do insist on holding the baby - take the chance to do some jobs - they may feel guilty and try to help you.
Be kind to yourself. In six months time, you'll wonder what you were upset about. Nobody will have died of nasty dirt-related diseases, and your friends / family will have realised that youare not supermum after all - you are just like they were - even though they look back with rose-tinted glases.
But most of all - get all the sleep you can at every opportunity. If you have an option to sleep or clean up - choose sleep. It will make the rest of the time look better.
I have 2DC and a 12 week old.
I get very little done, I seem to have started shoving things in cuboards and behind the sofa.
I aim to do one load of washing done and wash up per day.
I think i'm doing ok
If you can manage to get to the loo, you're doing ok...
Honestly? If me and DCs were all still alive and unharmed - I had surpassed the equivalent of skipping up Everest. Whilst juggling.
You are doing great.
I had a 7yo and 21 month old twins when dd2 was born. The house was a state and dp had to go shopping on his own when she was 2 weeks old as midwife was concerned I was trying to do too much. Luckily my mum helped with the washing up a few times or there would have been an outbreak of foodpoisoning eventually . In truth you can only do so much, dust and washing can wait! Enjoy the new arrival, plenty of time to fret about the house later, like when H.V is about to arrive and kids have left the mother of all messes in the bathroom .
Thank you, thank you . Had a truly shocking day where I lost it with everyone in my family and you've cheered me up and given me a way forward. I always struggle to believe I'm not just being rubbish. A little nagging voice tells me others would do better or plan better or... But I am doing my best. I must also stop trying to look as if I'm coping! No one on the school run would know due that this post was written by me to the energy I waste trying to look in control for the beginning and end of the school run! Does work ATM but energy would be better spent elsewhere! Bin bags and paper plates at the ready! Now - a bit of sleep would be nice!
You are doing amazingly well. I have a 5 and 4 year old and a 7 month old and I aim to feed them well, clothe them and entertain them. Sometimes I manage to hoover/clean the baths properly etc, but that's a bonus. It will all get better! Great advice from midnight!
You are doing brilliantly. Getting 3 kids up and dressed and doing the school run is a major achievement. I understand the need to look under control when dropping off at school cos I do the same but dh is constantly asking why I care so much. We have the first school run to dd1s new school tomorrow and I'm still not sure how I'll do it!
If the kids are fed and clothed and you get to play with them, read to them a little etc then really, what else matters? Your lo is 9 weeks. Mine is 6 months and I'm still marking that down as a major achievement.
isitmidnightalready - that is one of the best posts I have read. With my 2nd dc due any day I am putting this thread on watch so I can read your post in a few weeks when I feel exactly the same!
You are doing brilliantly. DD3 is 6 months. In that time I have managed to clothe and feed us all every day. And walk the dog every week day. Nothing else has been managed as regularly as it should have been, even now. It is getting easier, I promise.
DD1 starts reception today and DD2 starts pre-school next week, am hoping this might help me catch up a bit... DH made a very pertinent point last night; of course the house is in chaos you've just got to the end of the summer holidays. He's right, even get 3 hours a day without dd1 made a difference to my getting on with stuff capabilities
Isitmidnight - yours will be one of the two posts I have printed out since joining mumsnet! I tell myself and others that sleep is critical but then still beat myself up when I can't do it all on broken sleep. One of my things is having short fuse, especially with dd1. Am I another room just now to avoid getting seriously cross. Which actually feels like a bit of an achievement!
Things I did to maintain my sanity when DD was small:
Gave up ironing (nobody notices, and most of the clothes we wear now wouldn't look much different for an ironing anyway!)
Used cbeebies as a way to nap. I would put big cook little cook on, sit with an arm round each child on the sofa, and nap safe in the knowledge that if they got up my arm would move. That 20 minute nap was a lifesaver.
Whenever people said "anytime I can help, just say..." I tied them down to a time there and then, and worked out what I would do with the time afterwards.
Bread sticks, homous and sliced ham is a balanced meal, bonus if I could get a banana down them as well.
You're doing well, eventually it does really get easier. Mine are now 9 and 7, and make their own breakfast, fold their own washing, Hoover the house for me and polish the shoes, but when they were little, I found lower standards were the key to happiness.
I've got 2DC and a 12 week old. If we are all clothed and basically fed then I'm doing ok. I try to do one load of laundry a day - although they don't always get sorted and put away. I'm also trying to do some cleaning each day. Just a small amount. This morning I managed to clean the shower. Woo hoo!
Once term gets going properly I'm hoping life will get a bit easier.
I had a one toddler when DS was a baby.
If we were all up and dressed by midday, I felt I was doing well.
Take any help offered. Don't be too hard on yourself. And remember that this will pass, and you will feel human again.
I must swallow pride and take up offers. Part of it is that I feel bad about taking help because no one made me have a third child and so no one really ought to have to mop me up. But that is a bit silly.
Oh, that is silly. But understandable.
Friends offer because they care about you and want to help you.
And, they maybe actually like your DC and want to spend time with them.
You can always pay them back in kind, if they ever need help in the future.
You know, I'm going to ask my friend if she'll have ds next week. Not all of it . But she offered and I feel good when someone takes me up on one. And I can give her a meal. The one thing I seem to do ATM is batch cook. It feeds my family and I enjoy it without feeling guilty. She goes out to work and I'm sure she'd appreciate it. I can't offer reciprocal care for a while - I just find it too stressful and would struggle to put another child in front of beebies whilst my own I can with disturbing ease . Not sure what I can let slide apart from the once a week cooking session-everything like ironing and dusting pretty much went with dd1!
That sounds like a really good plan sleep! Good luck with that!
midnight - 'life is not like the adverts'. That is one of the best quotes I have seen on here, it really is.
Sounds like you are doing brilliant sleepglorioussleep.
Well-what a weird life it is with a young baby. Today has been the complete opposite to yesterday- a friend offered to bring dd1 home from school and it felt so different losing a school run that I had a burst of energy and a real whizz round for half an hour and between shoving stuff where I won't see it, throwing away and hoovering up (and actually putting a few things in their proper places, downstairs looked presentable when they came into play. And i had a really nice snack waiting when they arrived. I felt as if I wasn't wholly convincing when I said how much of a state stuff had been in! And I managed an hour lying down and dozing if not actually sleeping. We agreed over a cuppa to share school runs and I realised then how hard I'd found the two I'd done.
I am going to give myself a pat on the back for today, but not expect tomorrow to be as good. One day at a time. Oh and dd 2, 9 weeks, spent virtually all her waking hours smiling (except when ds clonked her on the head!).
Your posts got me through the grottiest day I have had in a while.
Glad you had a better day - Ive just noticed that your name is sleep glorious sleep. That passed me by when I advised getting lots of sleep.
It's great to hear that accepting help and sharing the burden is working - well done for getting on with it.
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