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Bossy children

(6 Posts)
sophe29 Sun 04-Sep-11 18:18:53

I have a DD 4 and a DS2. I have just been told, in quite minute detail, by DS, how to prepare his strawberries.
"Mummy - I want strawberries. I want them in that bowl. Nooooo (said like Im the 2 yo) I want THAT one. Cut them mummy. With a small knife mummy. Well done mummy."
He is like this a lot. Clothes, toys, his sister. I am just going along with it as it saves the tantrum that ensues if I don't do it his way. We are potty training and he has very specific requirements as to the pants he wears (Yellow, with Mickey mouse on them - failing that blue ones with mickey on). It is not an OCD thing but more a power play and a need to do things HIS way.
Am I going to end up one of those put upon mothers who spends her life running around after her son whilst he sits there clicking his fingers?
I feel like a very stupid servant sometimes.
Is this his age and will he grow out of it? (pleeeeaaassse god let him grow out of it!)

MayDayChild Sun 04-Sep-11 20:34:54

Do two of three requests getting him to do the third. So yes to the pants and socks but only it if he puts them on.
Or yes to strawberry but he has to get the bowl.
Gradually he'll be doing it all!
But yes def a phase!

bejeezus Sun 04-Sep-11 21:07:30

ahem....i beg to differ. My dd1 is 6 and is still very bossy

my take on it is; some people are bossy. I'm not, she is. The world needs bossy people!

As he gets older though - you can have conversations with him about it; about how people dont like to be bossed about the whole time, sometimes other people have ideas about how they would like things done which might not be the same as his ideas- his school friends, in my experience, will do a fair bit of telling him too!

At 6, I can just tell dd to stop bossing me, Ive had enough - and we have a bit of a laugh about it

you wont be downtrodden by your bossy son x

Friedtomatoes77 Sun 04-Sep-11 23:08:19

Often they say back to you what they get said to them. We mums often tell them what to do and things like 'well done ds' so..often they speak to us in the same way. It sounds more bossy coming from a child though!

eggsareoffagain Mon 05-Sep-11 02:46:02

I don't think this is about bossiness, I think this is about the common situation of a toddler trying to control his mum.

It's normal and cute at the moment but if I were you I would model for him how to ask nicely for things rather than tell you what he wants. I would say that if you don't do that then you will absolutely end up with a child who has you dancing to his tune very soon. I'm all for kids asking for what they would like but I don't give endless choices or put up with multiple changing of minds or pander to which colour bowl etc. Life is not like that, sometimes it's just tough cheese, as I tell my 2.

I really believe that even in small ways children have to know that they are not the boss of mum or dad - I don't let my children push in front of me to go through a door, I don't let them interrupt when I'm talking to an adult and I make them leave the room if I want a private conversation with DH.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Mon 05-Sep-11 02:50:38

Yeah, I get "I need a drink. In a liddy sippy cup. The pink one. With ice cubes" and the like.

I feel like they're so powerless most of the time, I choose where we go and when and whether she has to get dressed and YES she has to go to the toilet and wash her hands and NO she can't have television, that when it's something that doesn't inconvenience me, she can choose.

If you're giving in on things that actually matter, or make your life harder, it's one thing - I think children are happier and feel more comforted when they know that they are not actually in charge. But strawberries in a particular bowl - eh.

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