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Leaving 1 year old with in-laws for 3 nights(11 Posts)
DH and I are going to a festival this weekend and leaving DD2 (1) with the in-laws for 3 nights. And I`m starting to feel awful for it. DD1 (3) is coming with us for 1 night and staying with the in-laws for the other 2. Has anyone else ever left a child of this age for 3 nights ?
The in-laws don`t live that close but we see them every other weekend or so. And have seen them for the last 2 weekends. I have total faith in them. Its just that I feel really mean to the baby. She is quite clingy at the moment and won`t really go to anyone but me or her Dad. I`m getting quite nervous about leaving her but there is no way we can sensibly take her. I think I just need reassurance that other people have done this and I`m not an evil selfish mummy
we have left out DS (now 2) with grandma for 2 nights and would have done three if we could have afforded three nights away! He was about 18m at the time. So long as your LO knows the grandparents she should be ok. The fact that she is clingy right now isn't great but DS was doing this when I went back to work and he coped ok. Make sure your in-laws have all the right toys and know all the little tricks that your DD likes, whether its face stroking, hand-holding, a particular game or rhyme etc. She'll be fine. Enjoy the festival
I wouldn't have left my dd when she was one - but my SIL certainly did and her dd was fine. But I think the key different is that SIL has always been quite happy to leave her kids with other people for a night, few days, week - and her kids have totally adapted to that. They will accept an agency babysitter, who they have never met before, putting them to bed. That is just unthinkable for mine.
I think this is a question about how you want to parent your kids - and also how you want to manage your relationship.
Absolutely - I think it's fine, indeed a great idea, to leave the young ones with the grandparents. We left our DS with my parents when he was 4 months old for 2 nights (he had stopped being breastfed at that point). My feeling is that it's important to get some time together with my hubby to get a rest and it's important for the baby to spend time in another house, with their grandparents. My DS is 20 months now and will sleep happily at other houses and is cool about being left with other people (obviously who know him well!) We are all happier for it.
If your little one knows her grandparents well I think she'll be fine! DP and I are off to NY in December and leaving DS (who will be 11 months) then for 3 or 4 nights. I know he'll be ok as he sees his Nanny and Grandad 2 or 3 times a week and has stayed over 3 times already and has been fine. Whether i'll be okay will be another matter sob At the moment I wouldn't leave him with anyone else, but I trust them wholly to look after our pfb!
DD has done a few breaks with the PIL since she was about 18mo. Started with a 4 night visit (DH & I help lead a kids camp and couldn't have done it with DD in tow at that age). PIL did a few overnighters with DD before this so everyone was familiar with DD's quirks! PIL did have to remove all photos of DH and I as DD found them upsetting to start with
Now they have her overnight maybe once every other week or so and had her for a week this summer while DH & I worked (CM on hols).
It is actually brilliant because DD loves staying with the PIL, it's great as they're happy to have her at short notice if needed (illness or similar) and their confidence with looking after DD has increased too.
What I would say is that we don't talk to DD on the phone when she's away. We do chat to PIL though, just to hear what they've been up to. I see it as a necessity at the mo so we can work and unfortunately DD just has to get on with it.
With my ds who is now 3 I wouldnt of dreamed of it, but now dd who is nearly one is here too dh and I could really do with a small break to be a couple again, I dont think you should feel guilty, she will be with grandparents who no doubt will dote on her and the break might even help ease the clingyness a little. You are lucky enough to have grandparents willing to babysit, enjoy it
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