Advanced search

What's for lunch today? Take inspiration from Mumsnetters' tried-and-tested recipes in our Top Bananas! cookbook - now under £10

Find out more

mother and son time. Is it important?

(10 Posts)
addressbook Sun 28-Aug-11 15:17:49

My ds is 5.5 and just started school. He has always been close to his daddy, which is lovely of course, and my dh is wonderful and spends a lot of time with him at the weekend so that I get a bit of respite (sahm).

I also have dd who is two and when she sleeps (still naps) my dh will do something with ds and I get some peace.

However I am worried the dynamic will become a bit too much the boys and the girls. My dh does spend time with dd too, but he is just so good at the energetic stuff my ds needs. I am tired at the weekends and also not as good at the physical stuff.

When ds wasn't at school, I would play games or read to him when dd napped. So we got one on one time. That is the stuff I am better at. I taught him to read a little before he started school (which he enjoyed). However play parks, football, scooters I am not so good at.

I feel I am missing him a bit as now he is at school, I don't get as much one to one and then the weekends he wants his daddy. We are close too but it is just a different relationship. He trusts me and relies on me but I am not the 'fun' one really.

Is this okay? Should I make more effort to do physical stuff with him? I do suggest playing games etc but he usually refuses and goes outside with dh. My dh grows his own veg, and ds will spend ages in the garden.

I do quite often put him to bed and we will cuddle up and read. I am usually the one who helps with homework. I don't know just wondered how other mums spend time with their sons and daughters. What the dynamic is like

addressbook Sun 28-Aug-11 15:19:55

I realise my title is a bit silly. Of course mother/son time is important! I just didn't know how to title my query

camdancer Sun 28-Aug-11 18:34:56

I'm worries about exactly the same thing. DS is about to start school and I feel I'm about to lose him. At weekends DS and DH spend lots of time playing computer games while I'm feeding DD2 or playing with DD1. Daddy is God and I feel I'm just the nag in the corner. Sorry I don't have any answers but I'll be watching in case anyone else does.

addressbook Sun 28-Aug-11 18:56:17

My ds is such an active boy, in that he has amazing stamina. He never seems to tire - was like that as a baby too! He is constantly running, jumping, biking, scooting etc and yes he plays games on my dh iphone to chill out a bit. I am not complaining, it is great he is so active.

I am not unfit, but my energy levels dip at times. I just can't face all that at the weekends. Maybe I should make more effort, although as I said I do read to him and play games now and then.

My dd of course needs fresh air and exercise too, but she needs a lot more sleep. She is more still in her play as well. She is only two of course. Yes dh is God and even if I suggest spending time with ds, he prefers to be with friends outside or his dad. This is fine and healthy I am sure, but I suppose I miss the time I had with him when he wasn't at school. Dh would be at work, dd would nap so if he wanted attention he had to do with me! And we had some lovely times just playing, reading and chatting or baking.

I suppose he is just growing up a bit and becoming more independent but we really try to not gender stereotype in our house and I don't want it to become a boys and girls divide

cat64 Sun 28-Aug-11 19:01:04

Message withdrawn

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh Mon 29-Aug-11 12:10:53

read raising boys! Apparently boys naturally start looking more to their father at your ds's age so it would probably be a bit like this even if you didn't have another dc to look after.

It sounds like you have found a natural division of labour that works for you...i think this is a really positive thing for your dc's to see.

I bet you'll see him more as winter draws in anyway, baking is more appealing than gardening when it's cold and wet out. Plus as pp says, in time your dd will be able to do more similar things to your ds, and you will be less tired.

addressbook Mon 29-Aug-11 13:20:32

Thanks moonface - I have read raising boys, but it was quite a while ago. Think I will dig it out again! I know my ds strongly indentifies with his daddy and I know that is healthy. I just want to make sure we keep a close and healthy relationship too, even if I don't enjoy those things as much. I do analyse too much though - has always been a thorn in my side!

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh Mon 29-Aug-11 14:28:34

just realised my first sentence read like a bark...sorry! The fact that you are concerned means you will always be close imo. smile

cat64 Mon 29-Aug-11 14:33:50

Message withdrawn

addressbook Mon 29-Aug-11 19:51:07

Yes I have watched the girl next door morph from a bouncy, friendly 11 year old to a brooding, buxom bundle of hormones with dyed red hair! She scowls at her mum with pure hatred grin

Join the discussion

Registering is free, easy, and means you can join in the discussion, watch threads, get discounts, win prizes and lots more.

Register now »

Already registered? Log in with: