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How is it going from 1 to 2 kids?

(11 Posts)
banana87 Thu 25-Aug-11 20:18:05

I am currently 27 weeks with DD2. DD1 is 3 next month. She is very good, happy to entertain herself a lot of the time and LOVES babies. When we go on playdates she's rather hold the baby than play blush. I know the novelty will wear off when we bring DD2 home though.

DD1 will be in nursery 3 days per week by then, and 1 day at the CM. DH is off 2 days per week (the days she has nursery in the am), so I will really only have both on my own 2 days/week, one of which she will be in nursery for the morning.

What should I expect? Will it be really hard? How did you cope with 2?

MayDayChild Thu 25-Aug-11 20:28:02

Easy as pie! Older one can do lots by themselves. I think this age gap is as about perfect as you can get
Enjoy time with baby when older one is in nursery.

plinkplonk Thu 25-Aug-11 20:51:00

It probably won't wear off - my dd1 adored her baby sister. No jealousy, no issues (as far as I remember). Once dd2 was crawling and pinching toys, the rivalry started - but before then it was reasonably mellow.

One thing I realised early on was that there was going to be times when someone was crying and I couldn't do anything about it. I also had my mum on hand to take out dd1 so that she didn't miss out on one-on-one attention. She kept the same nursery days, which was really helpful. If yours is at nursery 3 days a week and with the cm one day a week, then you really will be fine - having one small baby when you are an experienced mum is a doddle! I would reduce the nursery time personally, to increase the amount of family time dd1 gets since you are going to be at home - but different things work for different families.

The really hard thing is if both kids are waking up at night - my dd1 woke up frequently during the night and it practically finished us off. And she always woke at 6am - a killer after a disturbed night with dd2.

banana87 Thu 25-Aug-11 21:33:36

Thanks for your replies. You are making it sound easy and I hear so much about how hard it is!

DD is only in nursery from 9am-12pm so she still will have loads of time with us. Luckily for us, DD sleeps through and wakes between 8am-9am. Thank god. I will also have FIL on hand if things get out of control some days. It's nice to hear the infatuation may not wear off smile

DurhamDurham Thu 25-Aug-11 21:38:55

Brilliant! So much easier the second time around and I say this as someone who actually enjoyed it the first time around. You have already changed your lifestyle, it's not so much of an upheaval and you have a very enthusiastic extra pair of hands to help. DD1 was almost four when I had DD2 and I included her from the start, she helped change nappies and 'babysat' while I popped to the loo. I was much more relaxed the second time around and enjoyed each stage DD2 was in, I wasn't desperate for her to do the next thing (roll over, eat solids, crawl ect), she seemed to be a baby longer than my first one was.

Wigeon Thu 25-Aug-11 21:50:56

My DD2 is 3 months old and DD1 was 2.11 when she was born. It was definitely harder going from no children to DD than from one child to two. DD2 just has to slot in with all the things we do with DD1 (at the moment anyway!). And as someone else has said, you have already adapted your life to fit in children. And you don't have that thing of having to make sure you get out of the house every day, how to fill your days etc etc because you have DC1 to take care of. And you have already thought through loads of the usual parenting issues (dummies, co-sleeping, weaning, breast feeding etc etc etc) and so even though your second DC isn't the same person as your first, you already have a head start on figuring out those kind of things.

DD1 was also good with babies before DD2 was born, and she loves her little sister even after 3 whole months! (although quite often loves her rather too roughly / enthusiastically).

Agree that sometimes one of them just has to be left crying (usually the baby actually as less likely to cause havoc if not attended to...), which is hard. And I can't leave the baby on the floor / bed / anywhere in reach of DD1 as she'll immediately try to "play" with her (ie squash, cuddle, pick up etc).

My main worry was whether I'd manage to have enough patience with DD1 if I was v sleep deprived with getting up with the baby in the night, but thank goodness the baby is a really good sleeper so far. Not sure I have any idea what I'd do if not!

Good luck! So far I think three years is a great age gap!

mumcanIaskaquestion Thu 25-Aug-11 22:44:09

I found it realy hard going from 1 - 2 children. DD1 was 3.5 and just started nursery the week before I had dd2.

DD1 was the easist baby very contented could entertain herself for hours. Although she didn't sleep through until 2.5 to 3yrs. DD2 was the complete opposit. Screamed allday for weeks vary unsettled, needed constantly to be rocked/held, but she slept 7pm to 5am from 8 weeks.

I found it realy hard to get into a routine, whether it was because I had a new baby and getting dd1 to nursery a week after I had dd2. It seemed from 5am to 12pm I did nothing but feed, get dd's dressed, take dd1 to nursery 30min walk come back feed dd2 go and get dd1.

Although by the time I got myself organised and into a routine I was pg with ds (dd2 was 9mths). It was so easy going from 2 to 3 children. wink.

TryLikingClarity Fri 26-Aug-11 11:03:07

I've heard all sorts of opinions on this, but think other posters on the thread here a most common opinion. Many say that it's harder to go from being childless to having one than it is to go from 1 to 2.

I only have one atm, DS is 18 months old, but I'm starting to get a bit broody again, so am watching threads like this with interest!

Wholelottalove Fri 26-Aug-11 22:08:24

I found the shock of going from none to one way worse than going from one to two. I had a lot of problems feeding DS in the first few weeks and he was a winter baby so there were a fair amount of TV/Peppa Pig DVDs for DD (2.8 when DS came along). For the early weeks a sling was brilliant as he'd sleep in it whilst I sat at the table with DD and do painting or play dough. As a newborn DS was really laidback and spent loads of time sitting in his bouncer watching DD and I play. I had a rough pregnancy with SPD and couldn't do anything, not even sit on the floor, so DD loved me being able to sit and do a jigsaw with her.

I also got used to doing a lot one handed, even breastfeeding DS whilst helping DD in the toilet. DD has always been incredibly sweet and loving to her little brother. There were a few extra tantrums to begin with and she did have a few times of deliberately weeing on the floor, but it eased off pretty quickly. Now DS is 8 months and crawling DD is showing a little bit of jealousy (mainly wanting the toys he has/not wanting him to grab and chew her dolls which he loves).

Your DD is a great age - you can get her to help you by bringing cloths/nappies etc and praise her loads for it. My DD loves having her picture taken with her brother. We also found 'big sister' presents from a couple of family/friends were brilliant, and also a nice present from the baby too helped.

One downside of two is not sleeping when the baby naps in the day if you've been up all night, but if you have some childcare that will make things stacks easier - you can have some lovely lazy days with the baby in bed. DD being at nursery two days a week was a life saver!

plinkplonk Fri 26-Aug-11 23:16:33

banana, you sound like you have a really good set-up. Of course, you will have times when it feels hideous and overwhelming, but you just get through those as best you can. As your kids get older it really can be exhausting, but it is also fabulous - and seeing your baby laugh at their elder sibling, or watching your older one stroking the baby's cheek is just so beautiful. Hope it all goes really really well.

fabanflabby Fri 26-Aug-11 23:30:44

My DS was 5 when I had DD. So I had 5 years of 1 child having all my time and attention before DD was born. A Wonderful, lovely experience!
DS loved his baby sister from the moment he ran full speed down the hospital corridor to my room, loved to be a part of nappy changing, bottles and cuddling. Has always read books with her and helped with her homework. No problems at all and I wouldnt change it for the world!
They hate each other now of course but DS is a huge, spotty, hormonal teenager so its not cool to have a baby sister following him around.
That said - I caught then cuddling on the sofa this morning - so lovely to see that bond even as they are getting bigger!
You are going to love the experience - its very different to one child in the house! get loads of sleep now!

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