8-6 at nursery - long day?

[WhoahThere]

I'm just in early talks with work re. going back 4 short days per week. I'm planning on finishing at 4.30, meaning dd will be at nursery from 8 until 5. However, I have a feeling work will want to push me to do a slightly longer day. Feels like such a long day for dd to be at nursery already though, so I'm preparing to stick to my guns.

Can anyone offer any relevant experience?

And I'm sorry if anyone notices that this is approximately my millionth thread on nurseries! [beside myself with worry emotion]

Oh, and DD will be 11 months when she goes, and gets up relatively late - 7am (if that makes any difference)

[notcitrus]

Ds started nursery at 11mo, 8-6 (sometimes more like 8.30 by the time we got there). In baby room he was totally fine with it, but then sitting around playing and lying down and napping when he wanted was just like home.

In Toddler Room (age 2-nearly 4) it got more active and structured so he was noticeably tired when coming home and now he's doing 4 days rather than 3 he's wanting to chill and not do much on his day off in the week. But he's still very happy about going to nursery, which is the important thing. After 5pm tends to be winding-down and tidying up, so often there's a few kids lying down on the carpet having a rest.

[SecretCodesandBattleships]

It does sound like a long day tbh. Not necessarily a bad thing though providing she's happy there. It's your personal choice and it depends on the nursery and your dd. I am currently pregnant with ds2 and I am cutting my hours down at work from 24 to 16 because I don't feel I want to work 2 full days and 3 half days with a baby. I am only going to work half days when I go back. That's just me though. I only started working after ds1 turned 3 and was going to nursery school 5 mornings a week! Before that I just didn't feel like I could leave him at all .

[fusam]

Do you have a DH/DP that you could split the pickup and drop offs with? i.e. you could work 8-4 or 10-6 rather than 9-5 IYSWIM. My instinct was always to shave an hour or two a day by me and DH structuring our hrs at different ends of the day.

[Stase]

Ours do 8.15 ish til 5.15 ish so I work 8.30-5, get the full day in, and miss some of the traffic. It is a long day, not ideal, but then, nothing is! But ours only go 3 days per week, not sure if that makes it easier for them. At 11 months, DD will be getting at least one good nap in, so that will break it up. Mine always slept longer at nursery than they did at home. If you can pick up at 5.15 and be home for 5.30 (not sure how long your commute is?) then you still have a nice window of home time before bedtime starts.
It is hard at first, but you will both get used to it after the first few weeks.

[Athrawes]

Mine (13mo) does 8-4.30 or 5, five days a week. But is with a childminder for 3 and half of those days, where I drop him off with her and he just loves her own kids and the family feel. She takes him when she takes hers into school and pick up, takes him to mother and baby playgroup and its really just like he has a daytime family. He adores her and I cant wait til she can have him five days a week as he is so much happier with her than with the nursery.

I also enjoy my time with him in the evenings and weekends a lot more now that I am back enjoying my work. Full respect to SAHMs but just not for me.

[WhoahThere]

fusam that's a great idea actually, I had got a bit tangled up with this and have only thought as far as me reducing hours slightly, not doing different hours on different days. Very little flexibility at dh's place but I reckon I could possibly work it out somehow, even if we can work it so dd does a couple of longer days and a couple of shorter ones. Even if I went with my original proposal dd will do 8-5, and I will have to be hardcore in my negotiations so that I can't get talked into anything more!

[bigkidsdidit]

I do that- DH works 9.30-6 and I work 6.30-2.30 ish so we can split hours. DH does morning, breakfast dressing etc and drops him off at 8.30. I pick him up at 3 and do evening. It works really well. I do have a flexible job though. And I get up at 5 :(

[pozzled]

It is a long day, but it's doable. DD has been at nursery 3 days a week since she was 13 months. She is normally there from about 8.30-5.30, depending on traffic etc. On the days when she's really tired we just put her almost straight to bed when we get home, but she almost naps well at nursery when she needs to.

With your work, could you offer to take a slightly shorter lunch break- 40 minutes instead of an hour, or similar. I'm not sure what the legal minimum is, but I know my DH often does this so he can get out earlier.

[fusam]

Good luck whatever you decide. Involving DH also meant that I had the flexibility to work a bit longer during deadlines and show 'willing' rather than being forced to dash home at 5 on the dot everyday.

[drcrab]

It is long but needs must. My DS (3.6) has been going since 7 months old and he mostly loves it. Last 2 years due to DH's work being further away he's been leaving the house at 7.45 to get there for 8 (waiting at the door ). I then drop DD (11months) off at 9. Pick both up at 5.45. Very long. But they will be fine especially if you are happy with the keyworkers.

[WhoahThere]

Thanks drcrab - that's really reassuring.

[Grumpla]

It is a long day but I find my DS copes okay with it - he only does two days a week though.

If I'm working from home or if DH is around then we take him in later in the morning - this seems to work better than picking him up earlier as he gets his tea at about 4.45 then it is fairly chilled out after that. Taking him in early tends to be a bit more stressful as there are lots more kids arriving at the same time so his keyworker is trying to settle several at once rather than focusing on one.

You could always request a couple of weeks late starts initially, or your DP could take some parental leave to manage this? Might help with settling in general?

If you're thinking of varying hours, you probably want to bear in mind that your costs will probably be calculated by the half day, not by the hour. So a shorter day will cost you the same as a longer day in nursery, but you will presumably earn less.

Be ready to cut dinner / bedtime routine right down to the minimum, at least for the first few weeks. I rarely bath DS after nursery and dinner is something fairly easy like cheese on toast as he has usually had his 'tea' not that long ago and isn't able to cope with anything remotely challenging to eat. We tend to come home, story/cuddle time, video while I cook, then straight to PJ's, more cuddles and bed.

Ultimately if you have a good nursery I am sure your DD will enjoy it. My DS loves nursery, he really looks forward to going :)

[barnowl]

From my experience as a nursery nurse children who do 8-6 days for 2/3 days a week cope fine, provision is made for children to sleep and rest and they will love the variety of activties and playing with the other children. Those that do long days for the whole week can get very tired by the end of the week and are more likely to show signs of missing mum. If you are concerned about the impact of the day on your DD perhaps a childminder would suit you better as they can offer a more relaxed, quieter, homely environment alongside taking your child to toddler groups for extra social time.

[matana]

It's a long day and there's no getting away from the fact. My DS does two long days per week (i'm FT at work, but have sorted my hours so my DS only does 8-6 two days). I find that if my he naps well at his CM's and wakes after 3.30pm from his afternoon nap he can usually get through till bedtime without going into meltdown. There are times when he's exhausted and falls asleep in the car on the way home and then cries when he wakes up still tired, but those times are outnumbered (so far, it's early days) by the ones when he sits, smiles, giggles and chatters on the way home. He's nearly 10 mo. It's hard when they are tired in the evenings but you just have to remind yourself that tomorrow's another day.

[ramblingmum]

My two dds both go to nursery 8:30 to 6 3 days a week. Dd1 is now nearly five and has been doing full days since she was about 12 months and dd2 is 2.5y and has been going since she was 9 months. Generally they have both coped fine, though dd1 did get quite tired when she stopped having a nap when she was about 3y . We don't do much in the evernings just a snack, often cereal and then a short play/ cbeebies and off to bed. I work Tuesday, Wednesday and Friday, I think breaking up the week helps. Also after 4 y I think I have go over the guilt of beeing the last one to pick up most days.

[acatcalledfelix]

My DS goes to nursery three days a week. He usually starts at 8, and finishes anytime between 5.30-6. He's tired but ok. His normal teatime is 6.45 and bed by 8. He usually gets a "second wind" at about 6.30 which sees him through till bedtime. He always sleeps for at least 1-1.5 hours there.
It's interesting what one of the other posters has said about the difference between baby and toddler room as he's just about to go up to the over two's area so I'll need to keep an eye on him!
It IS a long day but they manage, honest.

[wonkylegs]

My DS (3) has done 8-6 FT since he was 7 mths old. Its hardest now that he doesn't get a nap in the day and sometimes falls asleep on his way home but otherwise he generally loves it. It's a long day but they get sleeps when they are younger and quiet time when they are older, he gets fed 3 meals + snacks and has a tight knit group of friends (who are so cute together) .
It's been a fab nursery on the kids side of things (financial organisation and ability to speak to adults more frustrating) so I think we have fallen on our feet. It also means that I generally don't bring work home as I do a full day so those couple of hours between nursery and bed can be quality time (we rarely eat til late and DS is in bed)