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What to do about really, *really* bossy child?

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HopeForTheBest Thu 18-Aug-11 14:23:46

My ds (4.5) bosses around a friend (4.2) to such an extent, I don't think they should play together any more. In fact, that would be the best solution. However, due to his mum and me working together on some projects, this is just not possible for the next couple of months.

So, I need to do something about it!

Ds is quite confident, has a good imagination and lots of ideas about playing. He will often be the one who suggests what to play. With other friends, it seems to be much more balanced about who does what, without one child ordering another around. There is usually equal input from the children, and ds does not try to boss anyone around.

However, with this particular child, ds gets very frustrated as he doesn't seem to understand anything, just stands there looking at him. Ds then goes into bossy overdrive, telling him where to stand, what to do, what not to do etc.
The other day, we were together for about 2 hours and I don't think I heard the other boy speak more than about twice. Ds was wittering on constantly, and it was all "do this! do that! come here!".

I tell ds not to boss the other child around, I cut in if he is being rude or too "comandeering", I ask him to leave the other boy to do things in his own time and way etc etc.
Bizarrely, the other boy seems to want to be around ds (he follows him around etc). If he just said "I don't want to play with you", it would show ds that his behavious was not acceptable.

The mum is, understandably, getting very annoyed and also keeps telling her ds he doesn't have to do what my ds tells him to etc
Her ds never says anything at the time, although she told me that he complained when they got home and then proceeded to boss her and her dh around.

Aaaargh! What am I going to do? Any suggestions gratefully received!

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