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"real tears" - genuine question?

(16 Posts)
Moulesfrites Sun 14-Aug-11 21:31:28

A couple of times recently I have heard people say this when my or another baby in the vicinity has been crying - "Oh look, real tears!". I don't get it?! As opposed to what? Pretend tears? Sorry if I am being dense can anyone clarify?

Namechangeoshame Sun 14-Aug-11 21:34:29

As opposed to crying without tears which they also do. Visible tears are something I too tend to comment on - I treat them as a sign that more sympathy is required.

BuckBuckMcFate Sun 14-Aug-11 21:37:52

I thought it was because babies can't produce tears when they are first born/few months? I may have made that up though grin

I do say it about DS because he wails sometimes quite convincingly but it is usually because he can't get his own way, today as an example he wanted the wooden spoon from the pan on the hot stove. I gave him a different wooden spoon and the wailing stopped and he was completely dry eyed.

So when he does cry with tears, I do comment on it.

(have just realised what a completely biting post that was, but I've spent forever typing it in my phone so I'm posting regardless, sorry!)

BuckBuckMcFate Sun 14-Aug-11 21:38:56

Biting? Wtf iPhone? Boring

minibmw2010 Sun 14-Aug-11 21:39:51

Sometimes when my DS (12 weeks) is crying there are no tears as he's not that worked up or actually upset, just making noise or wanting attention. But at times there are real tears when he's truly upset, or at times hysterical and really truly needs my comfort. The first time I saw real tears my heart jumped ...

earshot Sun 14-Aug-11 21:40:20

I'm guilty of this! For the baby when she's so upset she cries tears (as opposed to the tear-less yells of minor upsetness or frustration) and for the toddler when he's hurt himself properly or is upset as opposed to the tears with a tantrum.

MadamDeathstare Sun 14-Aug-11 21:42:22

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EllieG Sun 14-Aug-11 21:42:29

DD often makes crying sounds which are normally just because she's cross (she's 3 though). Real tears are for real upset. Not sure if that works for babies though.

BuckBuckMcFate Sun 14-Aug-11 21:46:03


I will probably be venturing back into the world of playgroups again in September, I shall remember that one as proof of ds3's geniusness.

Ponders Sun 14-Aug-11 21:46:54

agree that new babies don't make tears at all, but IMO the "real tears" thing applies to older child who isn't just making a noise grin

StrandedBear Sun 14-Aug-11 22:21:32

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

EverythingsNotRosie Mon 15-Aug-11 06:49:51

My mum says it to me when I am not sympathetic enough with DD (9 months). But she's always cried real tears. And also, she needs to have a nappy changed, it's just the way it is!

seeker Mon 15-Aug-11 07:09:24

Not sure about this-are we saying that tears are more deserving of attention than any other sign of emotional distress?

Namechangeoshame Mon 15-Aug-11 08:21:46

It's a possible sign that they're actually distressed rather than just pissed off, yes, I'd say so. Bear in mind the number of times your average 9-24 month old will "cry" because they've dropped their biscuit, you have to calibrate your response somehow.

CatL Mon 15-Aug-11 12:49:42

I remember DH getting quite teary eyed himself when he noticed by DD ( a few weeks old I think) crying real tears - he took it to mean she was more upset. Howver, I'd say now (at 19 months) she almost always cried tears - no matter how genuine her distress is! I've always had people comment on her ' real tears' and say how she seems really upset etc, but I can tell you she almost always cries like that, so don;t assume anything!! SO I guess all babies are different - some the tears mean they are more upset, others just usually cry tears.

MoragG Mon 15-Aug-11 15:12:33

Have to say I found this annoying when DD was small, and wasn't sure what people were getting at!

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