or anything positive? Previous thread has got the herby newbies into me but too late now as due in 3 weeks.
What works/not? Am trying to expect the worst but was spool low after having nr 1 can't think it will be worse. They'll be 2 and newborn...
I will be interested to hear replies to your thread too
None yet...suspect they are all huddling in a corner...?
Here are the things that helped me with a 2yr old and a baby;
Read a book to the toddler while you feed the baby.
Try to do one activity with toddler while baby is sleeping.
Try to be out once a day to a park or playgroup.
Activities which I found toddler enjoyed and could happily do by themselves is playdough, drawing/colouring, scissors and magazines and plenty of cbeebies!
More practical things that helped me was to do one pot meals most days usually in the morning or prep for meal in the morning as you'll find you have more energy then and the children are less whiney. Slow cookers are good.
Make sandwiches for lunch in the morning so you can have them for lunch if at home or grab them and take them with you if you're going out.
Get shopping delivered.
If you're doing some cleaning, get toddler to help by giving them a bit of water and a cloth to clean the table or something while you get on.
Don't let laundry pile up.
Congratulations and good luck!
Finally a response!And fantastic tips in there.thank you so much for some very good ideas. Will try to look up groups.suspect we'll be using slow cooker a lot.as we do now! Think keeping toddler in nursery for some days will also provide some relief.
The pages of board books are easier to turn then regular paper - therefore easier to read one handed to toddler whilst breastfeeding!
Deffo stock up on a few if you can afford.
Picnics are v good, toddler can run round and eat a fun lunch whilst u feed baby. No need to wipe down highchairs/floor/table afterwards either which is bonus. Doesn't have to be anything fancy - our picnics often consist of apple/hardboiled egg/crackers/ flapjack ie stuff u already have or can sort and chuck in Tupperware in 5 mins flat.
Have also stopped worrying about constant tv watching, figure that even if DS1 watched tv for full duration of my maternity leave (things not quite that bad but some days feels it!) eventually our generally good tv habits will rub back off on him, and anyway, it never did me any harm!
DS1 is only 2.4 and my expectations re sitting quietly doing puzzles and crafty things were totally unrealistic - life with newborn def easier if you go with flow a bit re TV.
It's bloody knackering though.
Do everything possible the night before. We have our main meal at midday, so I will cook it up the night before & just reheat it next day.
I have a DVD (one of those Baby Einstein ones) in the machine at all times, plus loads of DD1s favourite shows (the ones which don't drive me mad) saved on the hard drive ready to keep her occupied when needed.
A bouncy chair upstairs & downstairs so there's always somewhere to put DD2
Getting DD1 to "help" as much as possible, getting nappies/bum wipes/baby clothes for me (they are all within easy reach, but she loves to "help"!)
Try to get outside at least once a day, even if it's just to kick a ball around the garden or to walk round to the shops to buy some stickers!
Keep DC1s routine the same as much as possible. I do worry sometimes that poor DD2 has to fit in with what DD1 is doing, but I figure it's better for all of us to keep DD1 "sweet" about having a baby sister!
Find a toddler class you can take the baby to. DD1 & i do a music & singing thing, which DD2 watches from her car seat. The lady who runs it inky starts charging fir the second DC once they're out if the car seat!
Have lots of chocolate on standby in the fridge. DH says he can tell what kind of day I've had by how much chocolate I've eaten!
I think Shaxx list is pretty comprehensive and I did most of the things on it. Would add:
If toddler still has a nap then try to get a nap for you and baby at same time or at least just sit and do nothing with baby at this time.
Give up on the ironing as much as possible.
Don't overplan and treat each day as an achievement in itself.
I have a friend with a DD a little older than my DD1 and having someone to play with was great for my DD and my friend was great with borrowing the baby for a while.
My older DD had a doll to be her new baby.
Make sure you have somewhere you can put the baby down in each room, even if that is just on a towel on the floor.
Agree with all re the getting them out at least once a day, even if it's just a trip to the shops.
My DD (2.2) will do things to deliberately wind me up just to get attention if we're indoors too long, and we live in a two-bed flat so I can't just open the back door and say 'have fun'!
Depending on how good your toddler is you need to have a list of places to go where you can feed the baby w/o worrying about the toddler. My baby is only 6w and I'm still building up my list.
Oh, and having friends in the same boat helps, then you can each feed whilst the other runs around after the toddlers. If you don't, I would suggest finding some at a toddler group.
Outdoors time is essential! As much as you can fit in/ drag yourself out for - my ideal is twice a day. If I can do 1 big outdoors eg a playdate or toddler group and 1 little eg trip up the shops life is much easier..
I also beg DH to be home by 7 every night to help put ds1 down, Having had mat leave twice now I know being home with babies is way harder than being at work so don't think it's unreasonable to ask post work drinks/ gym etc to go on hold for few months
A double buggy(my phil an teds got me through) as ds1 was a tantrumming bolter who wouldn't stay in the park whilst I fed (he was 2 when dd2 arrived)-you need some where to stap them in!!
Tv. Toddler was horrendous early on and the tv saved me
My "luxury item" on ML was to continue some nursery for toddler. He loved getting away from new born boredom.
Slow cooked meals started during pm naps and lots of extra portions stuck in freezer.
The sleep deprivation is the worst part, so rest as much as you can early am and in evening (toddler up at 5.30, so dh takes Jim as I've done the night shift, just that extra hour sleep makes huge difference)
I didn't have a helpful toddler, or one that sits quietly but I do now! 9mths on and for the last 3-4mths it's gone from hell to lots of fun everyone is different, other friends have had it fab from the start.
It's so worth it when you see them plaing together now-9mths in and they are as thick as thieves
Thanks everyone. Continuing with nursery as long as we can afford to and to try&get settled. I think I felt so trapped last time:somehow fell into a GF type trap and thought you had to have a rigid routine with a 2 week old....plu br-f was a bit of a disaster and she didn't pick up weight.
I thought that I was going to be all laid back with nr 1 &go with the flow but evidently didn't. Now hoping maybe I can do it with nr 2& maybe enjoy it a bit more. Obviously got through it well enough to consider doing it again!
Will look up toddler&baby groups now! Then must sort out more cupboards to make space for this bubs!
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