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Anyone have DCs 1&2 close together and then a big gap before DC3?

(9 Posts)
Asparaguses Fri 05-Aug-11 22:20:55

There are two years between by first two DDs. We have always toyed with the idea of having a third but have not felt ready. DD2 is nearly 3 now and work and money reasons mean that although I am starting to feel ready for number three we will have to wait at least two years before trying which means it is likely that DD1 will be 8ish and DD2 will be 6ish when we might have DC3.

Has anyone else had similar age gaps? How did it work? Was it odd going back to babydom after so long? Was it hard? Does the DC3 feel like at outsider in the face of two closer, older siblings. Or is it great?

superdeeduper Fri 05-Aug-11 23:10:30

Hi Asparaguses

I have 3 children now who have exactly the same age gap. It did take a wee while to adjust to the baby stage again but it was lovely to have time with the youngest when the other 2 were at school.

They do all get on and the older 2 have managed to maintain the close bond they have always had. I have found that they have really helped to bring the youngest on and she is advanced in a lot of ways. I think the only down side now is, as they are all getting older, it is really hard finding things to do where everyone is entertained. Usually end up having to get a babysitter for the wee one while I take the older ones to say the pictures and vice versa.

I dont think the youngest is left out as the older 2 are happy to play with her and spend time with her. She has grown up a confident, happy child as she is surrounded by lots of people who love her. She is also used to standing up for herself which has stood her in good stead for things like nursery.

I can honestly say it's been very positive for us. Oh and one great thing is you will have ready made story readers when the older 2 learn to read! My eldest daughter loved reading to her wee sister and this really brought on her reading level as well as having a happy baby

Haudyerwheesht Fri 05-Aug-11 23:15:31

My brother and sister were 8 and 10 when I arrived. It worked fine. Me and my sister and much closer than my brother and I and as adults we've reached the big milestones such as moving out, getting married, having kids at the same time.

As a teenager, esp on family holidays I often took a friend as it was a bit lonely otherwise.

Haudyerwheesht Fri 05-Aug-11 23:17:23

I should have said me and my sister are closer than my brother and her.

rushofbloodtothefeet Fri 05-Aug-11 23:20:48

My sister had her first 3 with short gaps, had 3 under 3 at one point! She then left a 14 year gap before her next one. TBH the youngest is like a singleton because by the time he was toddling his older brothers had pretty much moved out. They are different parents this time round, they are experienced, not so time rushed with only one and very much aware that he was the unexpected last baby (so is a bit over-indulged). He also has 3 grown up brothers who fill up his world with knowledge and excitement smile

Northernlurker Fri 05-Aug-11 23:25:43

Dd1 was 9 and dd2 6 when dd3 arrived. Overall it's been fab actually. I love the spread of ages. I love that my older dcs have seen me breastfeed for years and have generally had plenty of exposure to baby/toddlerdom. It's had it's not so great moments - it's really irritating when they don't want to play with her and she adores them and follows them pathetically. However those moments are well and truly outweighed by the majority of the time when they are this wonderful gang. I think it has enriched our family experience hugely.
Going back to baby days - I really liked that. I knew it would be my last baby and it felt like there was a licence to enjoy myself. She has not been the easiest toddler tbh but now she's 4 she is fantastic company and I really relish doing things again with her. If you want a third dc you should go for it. I would bitterly regretted not having dd3.

PinkEmily Sat 06-Aug-11 23:24:48

I have two older children who were 10 and 12 when my DD was born, she is now 9 months. We too, had to wait a very long time before we were in a position to try for our third and lots of people talk very negatively about having such a big gap, but I haven't found it negative at all, the older two absolutely adore their sister. I have found myself subconsciously singing all the silly songs and watching every new thing she does and remembering the older ones doing it - and it seems like yesterday. She has just slotted so easily into our lives.

I really wouldn't let a gap of any kind put you off as the rewards as a family outweigh any potential problems. People have told me that with a big gap, the third child grows up like an 'only', but she isn't, she never will be, we are a family of five. I've found it much easier and more relaxed this time round too.

Good luck!

DD1 and DD2 are 11 months apart, swiftly followed by DS 23 months later. I then sensibly waited 12½ years for DD3, who is now 2½. The first few years were busy to say the least, but it is WONDERFUL doing it all over again. The older children adore their little sister and she worships them. Wouldn't have it any other way.

GabrielOak Sat 06-Aug-11 23:46:23

My eldest two were 8 and 6 when my third child arrived. We had no problems at all, the older children adored DC3 right from the start and it was easier getting through the newborn stage when the older children were at school all day. It did feel like starting again when I went back to doing toddler groups etc but in a good way - I've always enjoyed that side of having children!

But - a word of warning: as Dc1 and DC2 were quite alot older, we found that they were starting to go out to play with their friends and go to activities and parties and DC3 was left on his own quite alot so we decided to have baby number 4 to even things up!!! grin

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