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Sibling punch ups

(6 Posts)
sophe29 Wed 03-Aug-11 07:39:41

I have two kids DD 4.5 and DS 2.5. Like all sibs they fight. Sometimes a lot.
Generally they do get on and can play for hours together and can be very affectionate. However, DS is a typical boy and can be very physical. Sometimes this is just over enthusiastic affection but often its a typical toddler lash out when his sister won't do what he wants. Most mornings there is some squabble or another and often one or both ends up in tears.
Sometimes I rush in and police their fights but other times (like this morning) I wonder if its just better to let them get on with it and sort it out themselves?
Do you let them get on with it? Or constantly try and intervene and referee?

clemetteattlee Fri 12-Aug-11 20:53:09

I am bumping this after a day of trying to work out how to deal with my DS (3.5) who is constantly hitting, pinching and goading his older sister (6).

Canistaysane Sun 14-Aug-11 20:34:41

I have 2yr old who hits her 7 yr old brother. I also am not sure how to deal with it. we try naughty step but it doesn't always work. I only step in if she is really hitting hard or upsetting brother. but I do always tell her it's naughty. sometimes she just laughs and I have to pull her away. I tell ds to try to sit on a chair then she might not reach him.

MadamDeathstare Sun 14-Aug-11 21:50:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

skybluepearl Sun 14-Aug-11 23:13:57

mine get on most of the time but they have moments too!

we don't tolerate any punch ups/hitting at all. it's straight to time out in bedroom with no warnings if things get physical. after they have calmed down i ask them to resolve the problem calmly/fairly between themselves. they may decide to take turns, use manners asking for a toy etc.

I did a course about a million years ago and the recommended a few things. the theory is to enable them to resolve issues between themselves but this doesn't mean just leaving kids to it (which can result in bullying/survival of the fittest). helping them learn to resolve problems now will also help them slowly create a 'tool kit' with which to deal with relationships once they are adults

from memory ...
-first acknowledge how each child feels (i can see you are very angry or whatever)
-then ask each child what they need
-acknowledge each need and highlight how it's difficult when people need different things
-ask them to work out what would be a fair way to resolve it
(either leave them to work it out or assist them a little)

it doesn't feel natural at all at first but then things do get easier.

ragged Mon 15-Aug-11 13:18:21

Sitting on stairs together following the worst physical violence, they have to make up before they can both leave (extra cuddles to the one who I know was least to blame). Otherwise leave them to it. This is my current strategy, anyway.

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