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Bit sad and worried about bond.

(10 Posts)
WhoseGotMyEyebrows Tue 02-Aug-11 07:17:07

I have a 5yo DD and a 2.9yoDS. They absolutely love each other! They do fight but get over it quickly.

The reason I am worried is that sometimes I think my DS is more bonded with his sister then he is with me. Not that it's a competition but that maybe he isn't bonded enough with me which is partly to do with how joined at the hip they are.

He does come to me if he is hurt or if they fight.

Does anyone else have this?

mummytime Tue 02-Aug-11 07:40:32

I think you are over thinking it. A bond is not a measurable thing. Are you depressed? If it could be yes then please see your GP.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows Tue 02-Aug-11 13:49:46

Thanks for your reply mummytime. I don't think I am depressed no. I was for a long time and had numerous problems but it's finally all getting better. So far we've had an amazing summer holiday (only been 11 days but still) and this is the first summer holiday that has gone so smoothly and that we have all enjoyed so much, so I think that is quite an indicator of how much better things are this year.

I just worry that he loves his sister (follows her around all the time etc and she him) that he almost can't see me. I can remember feeling like this about my nan and grandad. I loved my grandad and when he died I remember going to visit my nan and thinking "who is she!" I hadn't even noticed her.

swash Tue 02-Aug-11 20:20:04

Kids just idolise their older siblings (or they hate them - which is worse!) I would just enjoy their relationship. And maybe spend some one-on-one time with your DS when you can.

LemonDifficult Tue 02-Aug-11 20:26:09

WGME, your children love you and need you. There's a world of difference between sibling relationship and parent child relationship.

I agree with mummytime that you sound depressed. Sorry, it's annoying when you don't think you are and someone implies you might be.

Iggly Tue 02-Aug-11 20:35:19

The relationship with you isn't the same as with siblings. Of course he has a strong bond with you - he gets different things from you than he does from his sister.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows Tue 02-Aug-11 23:01:08

What is it that makes you think I sound depressed?

LemonDifficult Tue 02-Aug-11 23:40:30

This is the kind of thing I might focus on if I was depressed, that's all. It's like you're running down your own value. He comes to you when he's hurt, of course he does, but you seem to be grateful for it. That sounds like low self esteem.

Your OP seems to judge yourself quite negatively. You've got two children with a lovely sibling relationship, and instead of being proud of it, you've made it reflect badly on you. It just sounds like you're a bit miserable and using this to hurt yourself.

Sorry if I've got the wrong end of the stick.

WhoseGotMyEyebrows Wed 03-Aug-11 08:13:59

Oh! I generally am quite hard on myself as a mum I suppose. I want to get it right as we don't get a second chance do we.

I do focus on things I suppose. I have had depression, anxiety and also OCD which I have just recovered from, but I probably have a bit of an OCD personality anyway.

I was in a lot of pain (24 hour thing) when I wrote the OP so I wonder if that had something to do with it.

Davsmum Wed 03-Aug-11 08:48:15

Just be pleased they get on so well and do not turn it around to yourself. The fact he loves his sister does not mean he does not love you - We all love lots of people in a different way.

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