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Does anyone have two children who are totally different?

(11 Posts)
tryingtobemarypoppins2 Sun 31-Jul-11 20:26:26

DS is 3 and baby brother is 18months.

Older DS is a worrier, moody, very active/hyper! Talks non stop, always gets involved and is never on the side lines. He is a big personality and hard work.

DS2 (although much younger) is very quiet, cuddly, very very smiley, people always stop and say how lovely he is, calm, easy going etc etc

I am finding that relatives are starting to comment. Things like "Oh isn't DS2 so lovely....." and I wait and nothing else is said sad

I feel for older DS. We have to tell him to calm down, leave younger son alone, much of the time. I have made a big effort to really big him up at the moment after a few bad days with an older great grandmother who told him he was "the naughty one" be fair he did tell her he wanted to chop her legs off shock

Any advice would be great.

AmazingBouncingFerret Sun 31-Jul-11 20:29:44

DS is very much the more caring sensitive one atm but DD is only 19 months old so it's too early days to write her off on sensitivity just yet! She is far more outgoing than DS was at that age though, hate to say it but she seems alot gobbier than him.

I don't really have any advice apart from praise the good, ignore the bad and loudly correct relatives and friends that like to label him as the "naughty one"

Jdore Mon 01-Aug-11 09:15:16

DS1... laid back while everything is going his way, very dramatic when its not !
Very funny and good company.
DS3... Nothing bothers him, takes it all in his stride, very funny and good
Dd1... Very wound up what ever you try and do, very dramatic, bossy,
loud & has an opinion on everything.
DS4... Will have to wait and see ...

Its very hard when your children are compared to each other and very unfair when they favour and placid, smiley baby and the older ones as "bad" just because they have opinions! ( Chopping Granny's legs offgrin). If relatives/friends/passers by etc make a comment on how lovely the younger child is and the others are with me or near by,I always try and say yes he is and so are the others, or tell them how wonderful the DTs were in their nursery play and how well Ds1 is doing etc ect . I always try and do this because I can remember how I felt when people use to tell my mum how perfect/wonderful/beautiful my sister was. She would agree and then spend then next 3 days telling me how awful I was and why couldn't I be more like my sister ( noooooooooooooo never ever thank god !!!!!!). You are doing a great job in bigging him up,just carry on with that.

Fennel Mon 01-Aug-11 11:56:30

Lot of people find a cute smiley baby more appealing than a grubby restless 3yo pushing all the boundaries.

It can change. Give it a year or two.

tryingtobemarypoppins2 Mon 01-Aug-11 20:12:54

Thanks all.
Jdore funny you mention about your sister and comments you heard said about you. I remember that too and I think that has made me even more aware of it happening to my older DS.

Do you think its normal for a 3 year old boy to say odd things like he did?? He has suddenly started talking about guns too which I am gutted about as I am really anti and have so far avoided any gun games etc.

headfairy Mon 01-Aug-11 20:22:07

whilst ds and dd do have their similarities (non stop chattering, very vocal and communicative, not at all shy) they are so different in other ways.

Ds is a sleeper. He loves his sleep, he goes to bed without a whimper each night, sometimes he actually asks to go to bed. This morning his bunny clock went off at 7am and he stayed in bed until 7.30 just because "he was quite enjoying being in bed!" smile

Ds however doesn't eat. He lives on fresh air and is a skinny little scrap of a thing. People (my mum and sister) often comment on how he never sits and eats a meal.

DD eats absolutely everything. People (my mum and my sister) always comment on how good she is, and isn't she brilliant eating all her food so well.

DD however doesn't sleep. Didn't sleep through once until she was 13 months old, still has phases at 18 months of waking at least twice a night, then phases of sleeping through.

My sister and I were compared too, she was the "clever" one, I was the "pretty" one hmm

I got the same degree as my sister and she's almost as pretty as me grin

levantine Mon 01-Aug-11 20:27:08

Totally normal ime for 3 year old boys to talk about killing etc. It is horrible though. I persuaded my DS who is now 4, to 'freeze' people with his sticks etc rather than kill them.

It might help to remember that they don't actually understand what it means

Re the chop granny's legs off. My DS might have said something like that too. I don't think that's abnormal either

tryingtobemarypoppins2 Mon 01-Aug-11 20:34:21

Thanks for comments. I do hope its normal! Just sounds so odd as its not the sort of thing we would say etc.

I guess we have much more to come as they start school, sports etc.... I can see it being harder when they start comparing each other later on...

Fennel Mon 01-Aug-11 21:49:33

My older two are 17 months apart and very different. dd1 chilled out, easygoing, never tantrummed. Says she's never bored.
dd2. stressy tantrummer, always wanting to move on to the next thing. very competitive.
People at school find it hard to believe they are sisters. But they are actually very good friends these days, despite being totally different personalities.

wheresthepimms Tue 02-Aug-11 15:42:48

DD 10 very bossy,moody, intelligent
DS 8 laid back until he snaps, usually at nothing, very sporty, chinos and shirt kinda man
DS 7 horizontal he is so laid back, v intelligent but doesn't use it, cuddly, emotional and is a jeans round your bum hoody type kid
DD 4 amazing, very confident, very able, annoying, talks constantly, boss of all 4

Yes they are all 4 very different, we have already had the tears from the boys when people say why can't you be more like your brother and I don't blame them every school report I had said "could be as intelligent as DB if she would only concentrate, not do so much sport and ignore the boys" Oh well he is 2 years older than me and still lives at home, I have lived all over the world, have a great family and although I haven't used my degree much (due to following DH around) am quite happy that I am successful in raising a family of individuals.

FGM Tue 02-Aug-11 17:14:33

ME me me! Mine are sooo different- DH and I sometimes wonder if one of them is an alien child. but they are definitely BOTH OURS!

DD1 dark hair, dark eyes, chubby, soft, sensitive, expressive, needy, cautious, dramatic.
DD2 blonde, blue eyes, slender, athletic, fearless, bonkers, carefree.

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