Ignored/slapped by my 20mo?(4 Posts)
Just got back from a week at the inlaws who live quite a way away - very supportive but have only met dd a handful of times. Dd has had the best holiday ever - her grandparents are really fun and hands on but I'm now feeling a bit low. After the first day of getting her bearings she has totally ignored me other than wanting to bf. She has been all about her daddy and all the other family members and friends and when I've tried to interact with her as usual she's pushed me away, sometimes shouting, Mommy No and has hit and slapped me as well as giving me the death-stare.
DH has been really supportive, noticing the behaviour also and reinforcing that we don't hit mummy etc but it's been really hurtful. Now that we're home it's all back to normal but can anyone illuminate me as to what that was all about? Think perhaps that it was because she it was all about her and she was loving all the attention and fun (which is the point of going, of course) but this has also reinforced a bit of a nagging thing that I've had about not being all that fun. DH and I both work full-time but I do all the morning/evening and quite often the weekend parenting due to DH's working hours but I'm not really that good at the raucous stuff, although dd and I are very close and I like to think we do lots of reading, walking, arty things together and with my mum friends' children (that sounds dull even just writing it down!)
Any ideas what's going on? Even just to be told I'm really precious/hypersensitive would help!
My DD used to be like this at that age. Especially on holidays she was all about her daddy and would reject me. She's 3 now and doesn't seem to have a particular preference. It was really hurtful at the time but I used to just think that she was more secure with me because I spent more time with her.
I really wouldn't let this worry you, but don't get me wrong I can totally see how upsetting it would be for you. My ds went through the same sort of thing, wanting daddy all the time and rejecting me and it hurt so much but before you know she'll snap out of it and move onto the next
bloody awful phase
With regards to the hitting/pushing, if she does it again I would firming hold her arms, look right at her and say "no, we do not hit/push" and then walk away from her.
I feel like my dh is such a fun dad (ds's are 5.5 and 3.9) he does all the fun stuff and I do what you do, reading, going to friends, jigsaws. I tried a while ago, I got on the floor and did a game of aliens (they were goodies I was the baddie) and it bloody hurt. They jumped over me, pulled my hair (not on purpose),my glasses fell off. Screw that, I'm sticking to reading. That's what dh is for, he's tougher than me!!!
You are being a tad oversensitive - you really mustn't see a 1 year old's behaviour as hurtful!
They go through phases like this. At the moment my ds leaps out of his dad's arms towards me if I am in range, other times daddy is much more fun.
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