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Help! Have to travel for work, reality sinks in...(5 Posts)
Am soon returning to work after 1 year mat leave, will have a nanny for DD (aged 1). My job requires travel out of country for a week, every 2 months. Will DD cope with missing me? Will DH cope with the added responsibilities? Will I cope with being away? Suddenly the reality of leaving her with DH and nanny when she only lets me put her to bed for the night is feeling very daunting, and that's the first thing I need to work on for the next 2 months to prepare her.
Should I quit my job? Any advice?
It sounds as though you expect it to be very hard. I think you should try going back to work and see how it goes. Give it some time and then make a decision. In the mean time you could look for other jobs.
I'm not going to lie, it is hard to be away from your child, but it's not entirely unmanageable. I've only been away for 2 nights maximum. Your daughter will miss you and you will miss her, that's normal. Just try and resist the urge to buy presents everytime you go away. My dad always used to do this and now I keep finding myself looking at tourist tat and cuddly toys and wondering if I should take her a present.
DH is an adult, he will be fine.
I went back to work after DS and DD after 5.5 months. I have to travel regularly too for work, and I still hate it. Although I am usually only away for one night at a time, going away for a week must be very tough. It would be good to get DD used to having your DH or nanny put her to bed. Although in reality, if you are not there, she will let them put her to bed. It is only if you are physically in the house that she will insist that you do it. It really helps if you can get DH used to doing some more things with DD (bedtime, settling at night, morning wake-ups, etc.). Also, does you nanny live-in or can she stay overnight the nights that you are away (at least for the first few trips)? That way your DH would also feel more secure initially as he gets used to being at home alone all night with DD. Agree with previous poster, go back to work, give it some time, and see how it goes. When I went back to work, the first few days were awful, and my first night away on a work trip was awful and I hated leaving my baby for the night (although it was great to have a whole night of uninterrupted sleep!). But DS was fine and happy to see me when I came back. And after a while, everyone settles into a routine and is a lot happier.
How much do you love your job? Is it something you've wanted to do all your life, that you excel at, and that you think nobody else could do as well as you do? If you think you might look back on this period and regret having missed out on things (because you will - you'll come back and nanny and DH will have games with her that you don't understand, she'll say words that you don't recognise, she'll ask for things that you don't know she likes) then I would say it's worth thinking about changing your job.
But then I could be biased because I'm on maternity leave with DC2 and went in today to hand my notice in and go self-employed.
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