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Do you buy your children toys outside of birthdays and Christmas - if so, how often and why?

(43 Posts)
pipkin35 Tue 26-Jul-11 11:02:04

Disagreeing with MIL.

Money permitting, I like to buy them toys whenever. I really don't mean all the time - and never to 'reward' good behaviour (they get food bribery for that) but for example, 2.3 yr old recently gone mental for drawing. So, I want to buy her a doodle thing. MIL reckons this should only be at birthdays and Christmas if stuff is not just a cheapo trinket.

But, I'm sure if we wait til Christmas - the phase/passion might have gone!


memeandmine Tue 26-Jul-11 11:05:43

I buy anny time of year tbh. My son's birthday is 20th December so I have no issue with buying stuff mid-year if I can afford it.

Your child, your money, your business and NOT hers. My MIL is just the same and it annoys me ( the ONLY issue I have with her as she's otherwise lovely).

No I say go and buy it if you can afford it and watch your DD enjoy.

nancy75 Tue 26-Jul-11 11:06:44

Dd get stuff whenever, like you said they suddenly get interested in stuff like drawing and I buy bits for her to do it with.

JarethTheGoblinKing Tue 26-Jul-11 11:08:51

craft stuff/books whenever. I did get into the habit of buying stuff whenever, but DS is 3 now and has started nagging for things whenever we go out, so trying to limit it to birthday/xmas or special treats like when we're on holiday or similar.

allhailtheaubergine Tue 26-Jul-11 11:12:42

Big pointless toys are for birthdays and Christmas.

Anything else they can have any time I feel like it. Art stuff / sports stuff / outdoor games / games we play as a family / anything vaguely educational or improving / books.

What's a doodle thing and how old is your child?

CaptainNancy Tue 26-Jul-11 11:27:36

I think when your children are small (and 2.3 definitely is!) then you have to buy toys that match their development tbh, rather than wait for christmas/birthday!

As long as they're not pestering for new stuff or expecting to have new toys then a treat now and then isn't going to spoil them when they're older either, particularly for those who have a very long wait until next birthday/christmas.

ZZZenAgain Tue 26-Jul-11 11:29:44

I buy books, craft stuff anytime
dh constantly buys toys and things, always has. I don't think it is necessary but he likes to do it and so I keep out of it

pipkin35 Tue 26-Jul-11 11:29:53

Thanks MNs. DCs are 2.3 and 3.7. MIL was going into one: "Oooh, rod for your own back. Every time you go into a shop with them, they'll be harrassing you to buy things! They will be spolit"
This never happens, cos apart from the post office to post letters bribe them with a lolly, we don't really go round the shops.
I get most stuff online and agree that books and crafty things should just be bought whenever.
My 2 yr old has got fascinated with totally different things to DS though.

Jareth - Yeah, I get DD something specifically then I have had older DS ask 'What have you got for me?' - so am trying to buy things they can both use, might be the easiest way forward.
Allhail - The doodle draw thing is a tomy sort of Etch a Sketch type thing - great I think for when she's screaming about painting/drawing but we're in buggy/car.
Meandmine - my DS birthday is same day as yours! smile

fluffyanimal Tue 26-Jul-11 11:36:33

Big toys kept for birthday and Christmas. Small souvenir-type purchases OK on days out to a museum or an attraction. Books/art&craft/outdoor more or less whenever within reason. Only exception to this is if we happen to spot a really obvious bargain, especially if being sold for charity - e.g. we recently bought a huge toybox full of lego that would cost 100s of £ new, from a school fete, all funds going to the school.

twinklypearls Tue 26-Jul-11 11:37:01

DD has never really been a toy child, however we often buy her paints, sewing things, new drawing pads etc. Sometimes she will do jobs to pay ofr half.

We don't really do birthday or Christmas presents tbh.

Firawla Tue 26-Jul-11 17:39:50

I am happy to buy things for them whenever, but if I feel they have had too much recently then I cut it back, or if its something very expensive or special i would rather save it for bday or eid times but some drawing things if they have got really into that, i would definitely not see as a problem. As long as they still appreciate things and say thank you, and respect the toys not just trashing things thinking 'ill get a new one' then i think its fine, buying them things they will like and appreciate does not have to mean you spoiled them

ragged Tue 26-Jul-11 17:53:02

For a 2yo I might buy stuff ad hoc.
For a 10yo they have to use their own pocket money or wait for birthday/Xmas.

nickelbabe Tue 26-Jul-11 17:56:26

I think if it warrants it, there is every reason to buy (cheap) toys outside of christmas and birthdays (especially as mine will be a november/december birthday)

You can reward good behaviour, maybe in a points system, or jsut as a treat.

if she's gone mad for drawing, then it sounds like a great idea to encourage it. smile

like you said in your last post - if they don't know you've gone out specifically to buy it, then I don't see the harm.
you are supporting your child's development.
the skills she'll pick up from drawing will mean that forming letter and number shapes should come a lot easier for her when she starts school.

Hulababy Tue 26-Jul-11 17:56:44

Sometimes yes. Depends on what it is, when we see it, how much and what we are doing at the time. She also gets books, magazines, Moshi Monster cards, music, etc throughout the year as and when, and I have just ordered her the SingStar Abba game adhoc this weekend too simply as it was less than half price on Amazon so went for it. And we might buy a small something or other from a gift shop every so often too if we have a day out.

DD also gets pocket money and buys herself things at odd times too.

I don't spend more than we can afford. DD doesn't ask nor expect things. She doesn't have a spoilt attitude or nature. She appreciates what she is given.

My choice, my child.

CharlotteBronteSaurus Tue 26-Jul-11 18:07:15

yes. dds have birthdays in late Oct and early March, so it's then a long slog to to the next "occasion". IMO they grow into and out of toys quickly when they're young, so I would rather buy little and often than go mad at Christmas, and if I've got a spare tenner then why on earth not? dd1 knows that she doesn't get something whenever we go shopping, and is always really thrilled whenever she gets something new. I keep a secret bag of bargain books and cheapo DVDs for sticker chart rewards as well.

notso Tue 26-Jul-11 18:14:04

I buy bits and bobs every now and then but nothing massively expensive and not too close to birthdays or christmas.

They never pester for stuff now though, I won't give in to pestering.

DS2 seven months has a December birthday and I can imagine buying him things during the year as I feel he may miss out on 'summer' toys as he gets older.

matana Tue 26-Jul-11 19:07:05

DS is almost 9 months, his birthday is in November so it's a long time for him to go all year without new toys at this age. So i've bought a few inexpensive items to help with his development more than anything.

As he gets older i don't expect i'll be buying 'big' presents throughout the year because the developmental leaps aren't quite as big so age appropriate toys will last him longer. But i'll probably treat him occasionally.

I grew up in a small immediate family, but my DS has loads of aunts, uncles, two sisters and cousins. I don't want him to grow up spoiled which is easy to do when you have as many relations as he does! He's also the only boy in the family so is completely doted on!

TheOriginalNutcracker Tue 26-Jul-11 19:09:34

Hmm not really no. I might occasionally buy them a summer toy for the garden, as all of their birthdays are nov/dec, but other then that I only really get them books.

I think if you want to buy it you should, you are the parent, it's up to you.

Fuzzled Wed 27-Jul-11 16:02:22

DS is 10 months, so we've been buying toys developmentally IYSWIM.
If we're out and see something 'appropriate' then we show it to him and if he looks interested, then we buy it - if not, back on the shelf.
That said, DH did take him into the Disney store and buy him a pointless stuffed toy.
Once he's older, we plan to stop buying like this and restrict to birthday/Christmas and probably start of summer hols.
GP's will buy him stuff whenever they want grin

TheGoddessBlossom Wed 27-Jul-11 16:06:13

I buy my sons gifts if i think they deserve it or we are celebrating - for example I bought them a new DS game each to mark the start of summer holidays, and because I knew it would entertain them.

I buy them new paints and pens when they need them; and if they have behaved well they get a treat.

Big presents are for birthdays and Christmas though i agree. If they ask me for something that is not just a £5 thingy I tell them to remember it for their birthday or Christmas list.

But I enjoy treating them, I can afford it, I make sure they appreciate it and value their things and try not to spoil them.

myalias Wed 27-Jul-11 16:12:55

My ds birthday is on Christmas Day and is completley overwhelmed by the 2 celebrations together. I have bought him a a couple of new games for his xbox. If he gets an excellent report I reward him with a present.

sarahtigh Thu 28-Jul-11 22:35:59

my DD birthday is decmber so having no idea how fast she would grow etc when they are little you might buy them extras , but I would avoid buying everytime you go past toy shop or getting small toys cheap pink tat from supermarket just for sitting nicely in trolley or not having tantrum, but buying fishing net bucket spade etc before holiday is ok or more crayons paints etc, but I would not buy a bike or ds or similar for non birthday /christmas
also would not buy DD a gift bacause I had bought my DH/neice/nephew a birthday present so she did not feel left out; she has to learn sometimes its other peoples turn to get pressies

KoolAidKid Thu 28-Jul-11 22:43:42

Yes I do.

Nothing expensive, but if it's cheap and I think she'll like it then may buy it for her. Then I'll save it and give it to her as a treat when she's ill / had a hard week in nursery / after being very good at the dentist for example.

She doesn't ask for much TBH, and if she does pester it's usually for sweets or food than a toy.

Alibabaandthe80nappies Thu 28-Jul-11 22:49:00

Books yes, and maybe a small something very occasionally. But general toys, no.

My friend's DD gets new toys all the time (she is only 3) and has to be constantly bribed with new items in order to get her to behave otherwise she throws huge tantrums - which generally end with her being bought something.

Elemis Fri 29-Jul-11 00:34:45

Ds is nearly 4 and I have always bought him what he needs, but not actually given him that much over Christmas. e.g his felt pens were running out so I bought him some new ones.
If I think it would aid his development,(like he had a jigsaw phase) then yes definitely.
Can't imagine I would do it when he is older though.
And it's not making a rod for your own back, he understands he can't have everything.

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