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too much happening too soon advice please

(5 Posts)
soapy4 Thu 21-Jul-11 05:35:32

In another 6 weeks im wanting to move dd into her own room by placing her first into the moses basket for long should I do this for?

Then 2 weeks later or so im off for surgery for my 4th degree tear to try and fix it for incontience I will be of my feet for several weeks how do I cope??
dd will b wondering why im not lifting her etc this is breaking my heart thinking about this im the only who looks after her, so my my husband will not have a clue wen the time comes. I have asked him to get up in the night etc he is no interested, dd crys wen being held my her dad because she wants me she is only 5 months old. Im knackered dd sleeps from 8-11 30 waken for bottle then wakens at 3 or so then im up for the day at 5 30 or so I am so tired I fall asleep feeding her, this is no joke and husband refuses to help also im getting no support for wen the hosptial butchered me with a undected 4 th degree tear im in agony and cannot even sit etc, im desperate for sleep.

Husband would let me have a nap wen he gets up sometimes I would rather sleep at time night lol, im concerned about my dd wen I hav my surgery sori fo long post.

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Thu 21-Jul-11 05:44:31

I'm really appalled that your husband won't look after his own daughter when you're in such pain. What the fuck is wrong with him?

As for moving her into her own room, I don't really understand. Are you co-sleeping and you want to shift her first into the Moses (isn't she too big?) and then into a cot? I would just shift her once and for all, personally. There'll be a transition period when she gets used to it, so I think doing it a couple of weeks before your surgery is a good idea. But really I don't think there's any magic trick, you just have to do it.

RickGhastley Thu 21-Jul-11 05:59:05

Also appalled at your husband's behaviour. You need to sit him down and ask him why he is refusing to help look after HIS OWN daughter. Whatever reason he comes up with probably won't be acceptable but then at least you know what the problem is and can hopefully sort it out together.

My partner was a bit reluctant at first but this was because he had no idea what he was doing and no confidence, he'd never even held a baby and just assumed women know what they're doing (I didn't!). We did some stuff together and he soon realised he was just as able as me. We also arranged that he would do the night wakenings on the days he was not working so I got 2 decent nights sleep every week.

Your husband needs to get used to looking after your DD now as he will have to do it after your surgery. Do you have any othr support - family, friends who can help?

If he refuses to help I'm afraid that would be game over for me - I could not be with a man who refuses to care for our child.

soapy4 Thu 21-Jul-11 14:48:49

Thanks ladies I was told this morin I think I do enough???? suck eggs really well he can find out the hard way in the end our dd will b the one confused as dad will not hav a clue wot to do my 12 year could do more.

All I ask he gets up once at nite maybe for 3 nites after all he does not go to bed till 1pm or so and this would b about 3 or so im like a zombie

soapy4 Thu 21-Jul-11 14:52:50

Hi op,

DD is v small still how long to settle do u think??? my son is 12 lol cannot remember all of this yes we r sleeping in one room some doin more than others we hav no family that word is a joke my friend is comin soon to take her she lives far away so cannot help much pity she wants to help

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