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How to encourage DS to deal with this?

(8 Posts)
Ozziegirly Wed 13-Jul-11 05:50:55

DS is 10 months, lovely child, but quick to tears (and also quick to laugh and cheer up!)

We go to a playgroup with babies of a similar age (it's the follow on from our mum's group), all lovely children and parents.

So, lots of them are crawling around, grabbing toys etc. When DS is playing with a toy and another child comes along and takes it, he bursts into heartfelt sobs.

I have done the "DS is playing with this, why don't you play with this" to the other child, and sometimes leave him to it (until the sobbing gets too much) but I wonder if I am dealing with this right?

I don't want him to be a pushover and just give in when a child takes something he is playing with, but equally I want him to not take it so personally and to heart when a toy is taken.

How have you experienced parents dealt with this at this really young age?

Iggly Wed 13-Jul-11 06:14:42

He's really young - far to young to understand the concept of sharing. Is it the shock of someone bigger taking his toys? When DS was young he wasn't that fussed - he might cry for a bit, but usually he went off and did something else.

I'd comfort him and look out for potential conflict to try and stop them before it happens. You won't be able to teach him and him understand about sharing until he's older.

matana Wed 13-Jul-11 10:27:10

Have you tried offering your DS another, infinitely more exciting toy, rather than the other child? DS is 8 months and getting to the stage where he'll cry if i take something away from him (he has a habit of grabbing my necklaces or car keys and then when i need to detach myself from him, or start the car, he screams and screams!) He only really tends to do it when he's feeling very tired to be fair, but i usually offer him something else and it takes his mind off it 9 times out of 10 and he's happy again.

swash Wed 13-Jul-11 10:29:23

I would take the toy from the child who snatched it and say 'ds is playing with that, here why don't you have this' with a big smile. Or if that wasn't possible, I would comfort ds and give him something else to play with.

Ozziegirly Wed 13-Jul-11 11:46:09

Ok, so I am basically doing the right thing in distracting him and trying to tell the child who has taken the toy that DS is playing with it?

I have tried offering DS a more exciting toy but he is determined that he wants the toy he was already playing with - I can understand this to be fair.

Cool. Thank you very much.

Fuzzled Wed 13-Jul-11 17:24:11

Oh god... I think my DS is the one taking away your son's toys! blush
I'm trying to distract him with another toy and give the first toy back to the other child... Hopefully it will sinking soon that he can't just take anything he wants, but it's taking time and irritating the other mums whose children can't crawl yet sad

Ozziegirly Thu 14-Jul-11 05:08:56

Don't worry! I certainly don't hold the other parent responsible - and my DS is excellent at doing his own grabbing - sadly explaining "Charlotte doesn't like it when you take her toy, just like you don't like it when Harry takes yours" isn't, to date, sinking in.......

Tortoiseonthehalfshell Thu 14-Jul-11 05:53:58

Yeah - he's 10 months old. He doesn't get social niceties yet. You're neither teaching him to be a pushover nor a bully, don't worry. He just wants the toy he wants. Because he's ten months old. I don't think they really do empathy, of the 'just like you get upset, so does X' variety, until about three?

Trying to distract Grabby Child with another toy is fine, leaving them to it is fine, as long as you're not cuddling him and shooting death glares all "Don't worry darling, SOME CHILDREN are just REALLY MEAN and NOT BROUGHT UP PROPERLY" you're doing fine.

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