My 13 year old boy is gorgeous, well mannered, polite, butter wouldn't melt sort of chap..until I ask him to do something or say 'No' to him!...the abuse that comes out of his mouth is..well! It seems he cannot construct a sentence without at least 3 expletives..any advice on how to stop it? Have taken away all the usual stuff..x box, playstation etc nothing seems to work and its hard work!
Have you tried disengaging/ignoring? Not letting him get away with it, but refusing to talk to him whilst he's using that language to you? So..
Lulu17: Can you put your clothes away please?
DS: No, fuck off.
Lulu17: I'm not talking to you when you talk to me like that. Do it now, or <various fun consequences> Lulu walks away and refuses to discuss it further, then follows through with punishment if necessary.
I could be wrong, but I'd imagine swearing at you is an attempt to distract from whatever it is you want him to do? I have to say my DS1 (also 13) has sworn in front of me (and got a Voice Of Doom lecture on appropriate language - I don't care what he says to his mates but he doesn't do it in front of me) but has never sworn at me, so feel free to ignore