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Help with explaining boundaries regarding strangers

(4 Posts)
msbuggywinkle Wed 06-Jul-11 14:42:57

Couldn't think of a title that really worked!

DD1 is 5 at the end of the month. She was incredibly shy until she turned 4, wouldn't make eye contact with anyone she didn't know well, would hide in my clothes if someone she didn't know spoke to her, took about 6mths for her to speak to someone new.

However, now, she's very friendly and outgoing, but is getting too friendly towards people she chats to on the bus.

Typically, she'll introduce herself to someone (normally elderly women) then if they will chat to her, she wants to sit next to them, hold their hand and generally be very 'cuddly'.

I just don't know how to go about explaining to her that chatting to people is fine while I'm there, but that she takes it too far. She loses confidence easily and won't take half hearted explanations, which is all I can think of that won't scare her.

Any ideas for how to approach it?

gingergaskell Wed 06-Jul-11 14:49:25

I have a great book for my kids {3 and 4 years old} called 'Everybody's got a Bottom.'
www.fpq.com.au/publications/teachingAids/everyones_got_a_bottom.php
I'm Australian, and that's an Australian family planning association book I got from there, but I'm assuming there will be similar here in the UK. Maybe your health visitor / school / nursery can recommend something.

The kids love it as it's not scary, but gives them a point to talk about regarding their own privacy and bodies.

preciousmum Sat 09-Jul-11 00:02:32

That sound good book,I will be interested on this subject ,will keep an eye open on this treadsmile

harecare Sat 09-Jul-11 00:11:35

Can't you just say that in general we don't talk to strangers. If you are there it's OK to talk, but we only hold hands and cuddle our family or close friends.

If she cuddles every kind person she meets the people who know and love her most will think their cuddles aren't special. So don't make her feel bad that she wants to cuddle them, just make it clear that it's not what we do.

Why are you letting her sit by them? If you don't let her sit by them - it's dangerous to move on a bus, you like her close so you can chat etc then she can't cuddle random strangers in the first place.

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