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if you had to choose one...

(16 Posts)
mollysmum82 Wed 06-Jul-11 14:20:45

which would it be:

- big house, organic food, nice clothes, ability to work from home and spend lots of time with DCs...but "bad" primary school

or

- none of the above...but "good" primary school?

Now obviously people's definitions of good and bad schools are completely different, but if the school was good or bad in your opinion, which would you go for?

sancerrre Wed 06-Jul-11 14:22:22

The first option and home schooling?

ragged Wed 06-Jul-11 14:24:56

The only thing on your "bad school"list that I would miss would be the time with DC, but that said, having been a SAHM for 6 yrs... it's over-rated grin. So probably I'd go for the good school without all the other benefits you mention.

p99gmb Wed 06-Jul-11 14:58:35

don't think kids benefit from a big house
don't think kids benefit from organic food
don't think kids "benefit" from wearing "nice" clothes...
don't think kids benefit from a bad primary school

yes kids benefit from spending lots of time with you
yes kids MAY benefit from you working from home
yes kids benefit from a good primary school

sounds like its the good school to me then... I think you need to put your DCs needs first and not your own

mollysmum82 Fri 08-Jul-11 14:53:01

Thanks for your posts!

Thanks Sancerre, I'd love to homeschool but I don't think I'd be able to convince DH! Do you homeschool?

Like you Ragged, the biggest issue for me is being able to spend lots of time with DD. She has definitely benefited from me being at home (not judging anyone else on this point, I'm just speaking for my daughter). The career I was in before having her was 7am-7pms and a lot of weekend work, so just not conducive to having a child and no option to go part time. Moving to a nicer area or paying for private would mean me going back to work full time and I just don't know if it would be worth it?

Although not everything I buy is organic, DD is severely allergic to dairy, eggs and nuts so I rely a lot on meat, fish or veg, all which I believe is better if its organic.

I don't really care about nice clothes for me...however when I was a child my parents fought to get me into a "good" school and put so much money into that (for completely lovely reasons on their part) that they couldn't afford the nice clothes/school bags etc that the other children were wearing and consequently I was bullied by my peers. I want to bring up DD to not care about material possessions but at the same time I know what kids are like and I don't want her to have the same experience as me.

As for the big house, all I meant was that if we move we'd have to down size. Our house isn't big really, we have a spare room and a garden and would need to get rid of both those options if we moved to a better area or went for private (which is definitely the least of my worries compared to those above)

I just wanted to expand a bit on what I'd written earlier and put a different slant on p99gmb's points. I can't remember the last time I thought of my own needs, never mind putting them above DD!

MoonFaceMamaaaaargh Fri 08-Jul-11 15:02:03

first one but instead of nice clothes i'd work lesi and flexi or home school.

JIRkids Fri 08-Jul-11 16:30:27

Depends what you mean by bad school. How bad is bad??

I think if you work from home you will have more time with your daughter to help her educationally and take her to out of school clubs etc which would outway the benefits of a school with a better ofsted it you know what I mean.

Firawla Fri 08-Jul-11 19:32:25

I would prob go for the first set because it seems the 2nd one doesn't let you have time to spend with your children, and i think that is more important than the school, and also how bad can a bad primary be?? is there really no school nearby which is atleast okay? as long as its a pleasant place to be, welcoming etc and children are happy and safe there, then if you need to do extra support at home for the learning side of it then personally i think it could be okay, esp as that option meant you have the time for the children, which is time can be spent on doing some of those things, whereas being in a good school but no time to help your dc with their work 1 to 1 at home as needed, is not necessarily great?

EssexGurl Fri 08-Jul-11 19:58:32

Good school. I personally think that what kids learn at primary school sets them up for life. Having read a lot of the Evening Standard reports into the literacy (or lack of it) in London, has made me even more glad we moved out of London and got DS into an "outstanding" primary. I feel that education is one of the most important things you can give your child and I would never forgive myself if, for the sake of designer over supermaket clothes, I didn't give my kids the best that I can in that department. But that is my personal opinion only, of course.

vess Fri 08-Jul-11 23:03:56

Depends how bad the bad school is, and also what are the options for secondary - if you're buying a big house, presumably you wouldn't want to be moving again for that?

lallyp Sun 10-Jul-11 13:19:00

i'm with sancerre
list one with homeschooling.
or save money on the clothes and big house and put it towards a private school...but thats not answering the question!

my life is along the lines of big rented house, organic food, nice second hand clothes clothes, work from home and spend lots of time with DCs...and home pre-school/maybe primary.

MCos Sun 10-Jul-11 15:54:08

Sorry - just could not knowingly put my DDs into a bad school.

Can you get creative on the job front?
And not go back into exactly what you did before, but choose something else where those skills would be useful, and where you have an option to work part-time? (Would most likely pay less, but flexibility is priceless).

I worked full time until DDs were 6 & 8. Now I work 1-2 normal days and 3-4 short days (I also have to work from home late evenings/early mornings at least once per week.) But now I get to supervise homework, and bring my kids to hobbies several times a week. When I worked full-time, hobbies were for Saturday only.

follyfoot Sun 10-Jul-11 16:06:16

It does all depend on how you define a bad school doesnt it? My DD was at (from an OFSTED pov) a very average school between 7 and 10, she moved there after leaving her previous primary (which was considered a 'good' school) due to problems with some pretty desperate teaching from one teacher in particular . The second school was absolutely wonderful for her and I will always be grateful to the second school and one teacher especially.

We then moved from the area and ended up in the catchment for what was considered one of the very best state primaries in England (in terms of results, inspections etc). I couldnt have been less satisfied. Awful sarcastic teacher, ragingly competitive children and parents, no ethos of looking out for each other, just results results results. Thank god she was only there for two terms until she left for secondary.

Without doubt, the 'best' school was the one she was happiest at, yet in terms of league tables it was way below the others.

CheerMum Sun 10-Jul-11 17:50:40

another vote here for option one and home school (which is great fun!)

Octaviapink Sun 10-Jul-11 21:00:23

I think I'd vote for option one as well, but then it would depend on how much you were prepared to spend your time with the DCs supplementing the efforts of the 'bad' school. How bad are we talking? Metal detectors around the doors because of knives, or an Ofsted report that's only satisfactory/good. Have you met the head teacher? Do you have faith in him/her? If not, don't send your DCs there full stop.

mollysmum82 Tue 02-Aug-11 13:21:35

Thanks for your ideas everyone, you've given me lots to think about.

We wouldn't be buying a big house - what I meant was we already live in a 3 bedroomed house so I was asking if you would downsize to get into a better school?

I think you're totally right about asking how bad is bad - I guess this will be the clincher.

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