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I have been a horrible mom today...long story

(12 Posts)
classyinpink Tue 05-Jul-11 20:08:42

I didn't know where to turn to. My 4 year old would not go to toilet when told and kept wetting her underwear today (this has been going on forever and I'm quite fed up with her toilet training...she still manages to wet her panties most days at least once). She sat wriggling on sofa and said her pee pee was making her not move that's why she can't go to the toilet. So I picked her up then she shouted and got very upset as she didn't want me to carry her. then she shut herself in our office. I left her as she's upset now that I have carried her up. I knocked and went in and apologized then she said she still wanted to be left alone. I came out and started giving my 2 year old her bath, then 4 year old came in and wanted bath so I put her in. I start cleaning up the rooms and find that she had taken out from picnic basket from lunch and had yogurt and some yogurt was smeared all over the sofa which is quite precious for me.

That was the last straw for me as I got quite upset as it wouldn't come off (quite well smeared in..I HATE yogurt on furnitures) I told her to go to bed immediately and no stories at all (usually two stories and cuddes and kisses). Meanwhile, my 2 year old who was let out of bath during this fiasco went to the office and managed to poo and smeared it all over the car seat and carpet around it, so I just flipped then. lots of shouting thereafter and big adult diva tantrums, then I put both of them to bed then 30 min. early withot any cuddles and kisses or stories.
here 1 hour later everything has been bleached and cleaned.

I feel like the most horrible mother and I was shouty as well and really angry banging things by the end.

classyinpink Tue 05-Jul-11 20:28:25

help before i sink into doom of no hope you can shout at me

inkystinky Tue 05-Jul-11 20:30:04

Sometimes a bad day is a bad day through and through and you have to give up on it ......a whole new day starts tomorrow though grin.

classyinpink Tue 05-Jul-11 20:34:11

are you sure that this won't be imprinted on her memory? I will apologize to her tomorrow morning for being a horrible mommy and get myself into a therapy. I cannot stand yucky things and I should with two little ones.

shivster1980 Tue 05-Jul-11 20:35:18

Don't sink into the doom of no hope - there is always hope smile

It sounds as if you have had a very stressful evening. A series of events have appeared to conspire against you and you flipped. Completely understandable given the circumstances.

My one nugget of advice, and I am by no means an expert is this: I never ever leave DS 5 without giving him a kiss and cuddle, no matter what. Once you have calmed down. Go to your children and hold them. Ensure they know that you love them but don't like the things they did and tomorrow is another day!

shivster1980 Tue 05-Jul-11 20:36:35

It wont cause lasting damage -be kind to yourself!

inkystinky Tue 05-Jul-11 20:37:07

All you need to say is 'yesterday wasnt such a good day today will be better' try and get her to help with the yoghurt removal too.

classyinpink Tue 05-Jul-11 20:42:40

thank you lovelies. i will try better although I always say that to them. I would have went in and apologized but they did fall asleep without much whimper. too scared I suppose- i would have been.
I hate this as I was physically abused as child and my mom always apologized but said that it was because of this and that and in theory i deserved it. i wouldn't want to do it to mine in the slightest.

IslandMooCow Tue 05-Jul-11 21:12:50

I know you feel bad, but I do think you need to have a long look at how you're coping with things. You've punished a 2 year old for pooping - presumably a non-toilet trained child. That is not good. And the older one is wetting herself, so needs some support too, not you getting cross. A bit of yogurt on the sofa is hardly a disaster either is it.

Make up with your children as you suggest and appologise to them, and try and work out why you reacted so strongly. Yes it was a nightmare evening, but the punishment was too much, and the little one had done nothing wrong at all.

MayDayChild Tue 05-Jul-11 21:24:37

Your 4 yr old sounds like mine. Pushing boundaries and being so naughty which isnt normal. Actually mine has calmed down a bit now and it was def a 'phase'. I had to be consistent with punishments like no stories or no pink shoes.
Tomo is another day.
Your 2 yr old only got away with smearing as you dealt with troublesome 4 yr old so give them a break.
And yourself too!!

Ryma Wed 06-Jul-11 16:52:50

what about nappies?

classyinpink Thu 07-Jul-11 05:47:44

you were all right. yesterday was another day and I was a very good mommy smile) she is pushing boundaries and saying outright no to things which is grating by the bedtime but I managed to put smile till the end yesterday. Definitely it wasn't 2 years old to poo and smear it (bit of nappy free time after bath) as she doesn't know any better. I did not shout at her at all. just at 4 year old....poor thing smile she is resilient and said mommy did that to me yesterday without stories or anything and was just very lovely yesterday. I find I react strongly later in the end of the day when I'm tired as well and if it's about toilet training. must get over that but I'm not good with bodily fluids terrible!! ;00

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