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I just blew the Stranger Danger talk with dd

(12 Posts)
gramercy Tue 05-Jul-11 12:51:23

Dd aged 7 has been invited to spend a day at the beach and a funfair with a friend and two or three other children.

I'm not entirely comfortable with this - but dd is super keen to go.

Yesterday I raised the subject of keeping safe: not wandering off, who to approach if she gets separated from her friends, and then what to do if someone approaches her (scream and kick). I feel I have to raise these points.

Dd burst into tears and said she was now afraid of going.

I've really blown it. I wanted to give her information and now I've traumatised her. Help! What should I say now?

ShushBaby Tue 05-Jul-11 14:15:20

I was terrified of strangers when I was little- the Stranger Danger message was drummed into us and we even had a picture book about it! But it hasn't scarred me for life, and I still went places and had fun.

The thing is, what you're warning her of is a scary thing- there are no grey areas really, she needs to know how important it is to be on her guard. If that means she is upset for a little while in the mean time as the message sinks in, I don't think that's a bad thing. Much better that she get upset now and know the dangers than be blissfully ignorant.

I'm sure she'll calm down soon.

gramercy Tue 05-Jul-11 15:03:49

Thanks for support. In this case I don't think ignorance is bliss. Nonetheless I still feel bad telling her if she gets lost to ask a lady with children for help, not a man by himself. Feels like I'm tarring half the human race with an unpleasant brush.

worldgonecrazy Tue 05-Jul-11 15:20:13

What if the 'man by himself' is a policeman?

gramercy Tue 05-Jul-11 18:44:34

Well, that would be different!

purplepidjin Tue 05-Jul-11 18:47:51

Tell her to approach a Mummy or Daddy with a pushchair - that worked for me, luckily I never had to use it!

Curlybrunette Tue 05-Jul-11 20:46:07

I always say someone in a uniform like a policeman/women, or someone who works at the place we're at (I said this when we were at Dreyton Manor a while ago, it was insanely busy and iI shows ds's the DM logo and said if they got lost to ask someone with that logo on their t shirt).

I hadn't thought of saying about someone with a pushchair, thanks purple I'll use that one


MrsRhettButler Tue 05-Jul-11 20:48:11

I always say a family or someone with children

housemum Tue 05-Jul-11 21:22:12

Agree with the approach a family tip as well - uniforms, shop assistants and families.
Does she have an ID bracelet? We bought some from an online company a while back, little plastic wristbands you can write name/phone number on the inside.
As she won't know your friend's mobile number, perhaps they could take a pen and write it on the inside of her wrist or somewhere so they can be quickly reunited if she gets lost? Just remind her to get it re-done if it starts to wash off.

gramercy Wed 06-Jul-11 18:56:24

Thanks - that mobile tip is a good one as it's obviously no good giving our number.

Still not quite happy about this trip, though...

purplepidjin Wed 06-Jul-11 19:36:29

Do you trust the adults supervising? do you know them well enough to trust them?

kreecherlivesupstairs Thu 07-Jul-11 07:18:40

I've tried over and over to have the stranger danger chat with DD. She is a really friendly confident little girl and will talk to anybody. Yesterday, I took her and two friends to a theme park. I was concerned about losing them and copied the mobile phone on arm idea from a child I saw.
We never got seperated but the mum of the two other girls wanted to know why I'd drawn on their arms hmm.

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