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How do you react when you've told off someone's child and the parent speaks to you about it?

(4 Posts)
Umopaplsdn Fri 01-Jul-11 19:45:07

in a shop today a 4/5 year old ran past me and hit me as he went. I did the pathetic wishy washy voice that never works and told him not to hit. He then went up to my 6 year old and full on right hook punched him in the face.

Gone was wishy washy woman and I shouted (at first, was shocked) then did calm but deadly cross mum voice on him. Not that he cared as he back chatted me and said he was allowed to punch people in the face.

He then ran and got his mum who did the pathetic wishy washy mum voice on me and apologised and told him not to hit.

Arsehole me then does the stupid simpering laugh and said it was okay, it happens blah blah blah.

What. The. Jeff?

Why do I feel embarrassed and go red and laugh it off so as not to upset the other parent? I do it all the chuffing time.

I was cross and rightly so but don't know how to put that across to the other parent without it sounding like I'm being aggressive or wanting to start an argument.

I don't want to make a drama of it but also don't want to say oh it's okay. I always say that phrase, gah! Not so bad when it's a stranger but when it's a parent of one of DS's friends I don't want to be the simpering walkover lady, iykwim.

What do you do/say in these situations?

monkoray Fri 01-Jul-11 21:59:03

If the parent apologises on the child's behalf you could try "thank you for apologising". It isn't quite the same as "its OK" because its acknowledging that they have something to apologise for.
Although i have to confess I normally do the whole 'its OK' thing because the fight isn't with the parent its with the brat kid - which isn't always the fault of the parent - lets face it even the best brought up kids can have bad days.

Curlybrunette Sat 02-Jul-11 06:49:38

I also am a wimp and would do the 'it's ok' thing, but then as we're walking away you can almost guarantee one of mine would say 'mummy that boy was naughty wasn't he' and I would agree and say 'yes very naughty, hitting is very unkind' an hope the mum heard us. As I said, I'm a wimp!

largetiamaria Sat 02-Jul-11 09:47:50

"Thanks for apologising" is a good place to start. I would probably say "I hope it's ok with you that I told him off, I think it was justified as he had just whacked both of us which is not ok." I would also tell the mum that her son said he's allowed to hit, and see what she says to that. You get better with practice! I'm all for speaking directly to the child in a firm voice - remember what would have happened when we were kids?!

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