So, DD (5.5mo) is obviously much more used to me as I'm at home with her all day and DH works full-time, so only sees her for about 15 mins in the morning and does bath-time when he gets in. Our bed-time routine is for DH to do bath and then hand over to me for a last bottle before I put her down. I'm due to go out tomorrow night so DH will have to do the full bedtime routine, and we tried it last night - however DD absolutely refused to take the bottle from him and got herself into a right tizz, and wouldn't be consoled by DH so I had to step in. She then woke at 9.30pm (normally I wake her at 10 for a dream feed) and the same happened again, absolute refusal to take the bottle from DH and awful screaming until I stepped in, sorted her out and fed her when she'd calmed down.
So the short term issue is the bottle thing - I'm in a state because I don't feel like I can go out tonight but it's a hen do that I've organised so I can't really miss it? However, the wider issue feels much more serious to me. We have got ourself into a situation where it seems that DD will only be comforted by me and is unsettled when left with DH. I can see how this has happened - I'm with her more, instinctively know what to do to keep her happy, and therefore it's been the easy option for me to do 99% of everything even when DH is around. I'm blaming myself because deep down I know that it gives me a huge amount of satisfaction to be good at being a mum - particularly as I found it extremely challenging in the early weeks and months. I know that DH now feels awful that DD won't take a bottle from him but again, very deep down I look at him with her and think 'just do it like this or give her to me for gods sake'. I thought I'd been quite good at not telling him how to do things, but now I realise that instead of telling him what to do I've just been taking DD and almost shutting him out - even worse.
We've only realised that the situation has got critical since yesterday's debacle and I don't think I've stopped crying since - have completely lost the plot!!! DH doesn't think it's as bad as I do but I am naturally a worrier and things really get to me. I actually think I've plunged into a bit of a mental pit about it all and I can't see a way out.
Sorry, this is a complete ramble and I don't even really know what I'm asking but if anyone has any advice I'd be really grateful.
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DD won't feed from DH and I am losing the plot - please help!
8 replies
WhoahThere · 25/06/2011 08:40
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