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Who make the best parents?

(16 Posts)
Delphiii Wed 22-Jun-11 21:47:00

Touchy but serious topic here guys, not sure it's been discussed before...

"Are the best parents those that lead terrible childhoods, or those that had exemplar parents and lives as children"

I will voice my view later on.

bejeezus Wed 22-Jun-11 22:53:03

you get good and bad parents whether they have had good or bad childhoods themselves...

combinations of learn not to make the same mistakes their parents made/ model their parents parenting/ take it for granted/ environmental influences/ other parents influences

its not an indicator

amothersplaceisinthewrong Wed 22-Jun-11 22:55:13

There will be good and both parents in both categories.

Ivortheengine8 Wed 22-Jun-11 22:55:48

If it were a bit earlier I would write a reply, but if I do I will just get hooked and its nearly time for bed. So will just watch for now.
Keep it nice! grin

yousankmybattleship Wed 22-Jun-11 22:55:51

I don't think you can possibly say. Each parent is different. We all bring things (good and bad) from our childhood, but I can't seem how you could possibly make a sweeping generalisation as to whether good childhood equals good parenting or not. Why would you want to anyway?

sims2fan Wed 22-Jun-11 23:00:24

I think that in the majority of cases people parent their children the way they were parented themselves. So therefore children who were brought up with love and kindness will be likely to bring their children up in a similar manner, whereas children who were shouted and sworn at will think that's normal and do the same to their children.

Of course, some people from terrible backgrounds will grow up and realise that children shouldn't be treated the way they were, and will break the cycle, but I think that in a lot of cases they don't realise.

cory Thu 23-Jun-11 07:22:51

what bejeezus said- not an indicator

I am sure I have found parenting easier because I had a store of collective wisdom to draw on

but some people manage to find amazing resources within themselves

holyShmoley Thu 23-Jun-11 09:07:35

Not generally an indicator. But I do think it is easier to be a good parent if that's what you've seen, and if that model/expertise is available to support you.

It also depends on how you define 'good' because I know people that have a very different definition than me.

bejeezus Thu 23-Jun-11 09:23:52

holy VERY good point about the definition of 'good' or 'best parents'

also how are you defining 'terrible childhoods' and 'exemplar parents'?

Honeydragon Thu 23-Jun-11 09:28:40

Tough call......I would say that in becoming a parent myself, I've realised that actually my parents weren't that great, and may have been happier without children. Although they would strongly dispute that and I would never tell them.

wordfactory Thu 23-Jun-11 11:13:19

Abuse is most defintely cyclical, and we can pass on our own problems to our DC.

However, I said can. If we recognise what was done to us and make a decsion not to repeat then we can make perfectly good parents no matter how we were parented ourselves.

FullTimeStudentNurseAndMumOf3 Thu 23-Jun-11 22:13:24

Hear hear Factory

flossymuldoon Fri 24-Jun-11 11:23:34

Hhhmm...tough one and there is not a simple answer, certinly without a definition of what makes good or bad parenting?

I agree that most people parent in a similar way to the way they were parented with a few tweaks. But, if people haven't been adequately parented (hhhmmm...not sure that's a proper word!) themselves then they are more likely to struggle parenting their own kids.

Lovemy2babies Fri 24-Jun-11 19:15:24

A person is aware of what bad parenting is and goes out of their way to avoid it, whether they had a good or bad childhood.

Active parenting is conscience and evolves through our journeys as patents and as our children grow.

Whoooo deep man...grin

PukeyRag Fri 24-Jun-11 19:31:44

I really don't think it's as black and white as that, op. There's so many different types of parents, childhoods, views, morals, etc etc!

For example. My mum is an incredible mother, she has always treated us with respect, always reasoned with us and never over-looked our opinions etc (I wont go in to it) And you'd never think that she was adopted, beat by her father, locked in a dark storage room and told she was worthless for most of her childhood. Yet she has so much love to give, she will listen to and help not only her children but her friends, too.

So to say that a person who has had a bad childhood will be a bad parent (and vice versa) isn't necessarily true. Personally I think it just depends on the person, however they were brought up.

BoysAreLikeDogs Fri 24-Jun-11 19:45:20

I want to know why you are asking before I reply

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