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How reliable is a three-year-old?

(11 Posts)
WakeUpRosemary Mon 20-Jun-11 19:35:43

My DS is 3.7 and goes to a creche two days a week. He's been going since he was almost two. Sometimes he doesn't want to go and kicks up a fuss before going but he usually seems to enjoy it, he's learning a lot and has friends there. There have been a few changes of management since he's been there but it seemed to work out okay. However, in the last few months, the acting manager has been moved to another branch and a much younger woman has taken over. Since then, DS has mentioned odd things. Last week he said his carer had 'put smoke on his finger'. I don't know where he got that from, maybe he just saw someone smoking out in the garden. When he got home today he said he'd had a nice time in the creche but then later he said that a carer had shouted at him to go to sleep and the manager had shouted at his friend. I just don't know whether to bring it up at the creche or not. He's been known to tell tales but not often. I don't freak out when he tells me things like that so I don't think he's saying it for attention.

Should I say something to the manager? He was bitten a few times by a little girl there and I had a run-in or two with the manager over that. I don't want to give the girl a hard time again over nothing. She's been quite accommodating in terms of us changing his days and things like that and I don't want to take him out of the creche as mostly he enjoys it.

Parietal Mon 20-Jun-11 19:41:28

My DD is three and tells widely extravagant tales, eg I went to the moon with teddy today, and doesn't really distinguish them from reality. But if/when she tells me plausible things, I do try to take her seriously.

You could ask the nursery manager - my child has been coming home with odd stories, do you know where he is getting these ideas from? If the manager is dismissive or has no explanation, I'd worry.

iskra Mon 20-Jun-11 19:50:36

My 3 y o has been telling her childminder that Daddy didn't let her have any breakfast. This is never true! It's a tricky one though. I would mention it to crèche and take it from there.

ChristinedePizan Mon 20-Jun-11 19:56:43

My DS told my CM when he was that age that I hit him. And told me that she had too, neither of which were true

Curlybrunette Mon 20-Jun-11 22:11:47

I suppose something like 'smoke on my finger' if someone really had burnt him there'd be a mark. It's tricky though, even when you think something might not be true with something that could hurt your child there's always that small bit of doubt that maybe you should be believing them.

TheSecondComing Mon 20-Jun-11 22:17:15

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

WakeUpRosemary Mon 20-Jun-11 22:46:09

It could be, I suppose. He's told me before his dad has hit him or told his dad that I hit him which is totally untrue. He said that the carer shouted at him today to go to sleep. It's just the thought that he's telling me something bad is happening and I'm still sending him in there is upsetting. He has no marks and is pretty cheerful so I don't think he's traumatised or anything.

I'll see how he gets on on Wednesday and if there's more tales I'll talk to manager.

nailak Mon 20-Jun-11 22:52:06

the thing is, when a child says someone has hit them, they arent lying, just unable to describe why they are upset, but they know that being hit is a valid reason so they substitute that in instead?

cory Tue 21-Jun-11 08:21:33

how long is a piece of string?

ime the same child can be totally reliable on one occasion and make up complete fairy tales the next

I would pay attention to any signs that he is actually worried or injured in any way, but at the same time be wary of implausible stories

colditz Tue 21-Jun-11 08:24:08

AHHHHHhhh nailak, you have just explained why my five year old shouts "YOu punch my face ALL DAY!" when I have said no to a second ice cream!

nailak Tue 21-Jun-11 19:25:03


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