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How do i get my 18 month old twins to stop doing things they shouldnt?

(11 Posts)
fatheroftwins Sat 18-Jun-11 21:42:19

i have a boy and a girl and iam constantly telling them not to do certain things but they go back and do it over and over again ive tried getting down to their level and saying "no that is very naughty or dangeous"but they dont listen.
Also trying to get them to eat for them selfs is also another mission they just want to throw it every where,i do help them by accompany them feeding but they refuse to eat so in the end they just go back to eating with their hands or tipping it every where any ideas.

BertieBotts Sat 18-Jun-11 22:09:34

I think your expectations might be a bit high. Eating with their hands is quite normal at 18 months, also not listening when told not to do something - they won't really understand yet and also they will not have learned to control their impulses.

Baby-proof the house as much as possible and save the discipline techniques for serious issues like hitting.

AngelDog Sat 18-Jun-11 23:08:38

I agree. My 18 m.o. can only eat with hands or a spoon/fork that I've loaded for him. Food gets thrown all over the place. We just put a mess mat under the high chair and let him get on without comment. The mess is gradually reducing.

I make sure I tell him what I do want him to do, not what I don't. So I might say 'biting hurts - touch gently please' and use his hand to touch me gently so he understands what I mean.

If I don't want him to touch something, I try to keep it out of arm's reach.

Grumpla Sat 18-Jun-11 23:14:11

18 months? I have no experience with twins but I imagine the most truthful answer will be along the lines of "wait about eighteen more years and hope to reason with the buggers then".

I would let them eat with their hands, DS (2) has only just started using a fork to actually eat (although he's been playing around with one for ages).

mousymouse Sat 18-Jun-11 23:19:05

at 18m they are only babies really (but mobile and without any sense for danger, manners or ideas about the grown up world).
they sound normal and lovely.
just keep them safe, and be a good role model.

poorbuthappy Sat 18-Jun-11 23:28:12

Not wanting to stress you out further but my twins are 2.5 and its still the same!

monkoray Sun 19-Jun-11 21:10:17

As others have said, at 18 months its a case if repeat, repeat, repeat. Don't assume they aren't listening just because they don't instantly stop, or automatically do exactly what you told them not to do. They are listening and slowly it may sink in and they may start to do the dangerous things less often. With twins it will feel like you are repeating your self so much more than with one child, but don't lose heart, keep telling them what you don't want them to do and as angeldog says, make sure you tell them what you do want them to do.
With the eating, my ds is 20 months and although he can use a soon to feed himself he often resorts to hands. I think at that age that still counts as feeding himself and I would encourage it.

Thevelveteenrabbit Sun 19-Jun-11 21:15:39

I found distraction to be the best way to get them to stop doing dangerous things at this age. (It didn't always work - tries to block out memory of 18 month old stood on trip trap chair on top of dining room table which had been put there to stop them using it as a ladder to climb on the table) and with 2 you will be doing it more than twice as much as they just encourage each other!
Let them use hands to eat they will get the hang of spoons - my twins were faster than my singleton probably because they got fed up of waiting for mummy!

BluddyMoFo Sun 19-Jun-11 21:17:05

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

sarahtigh Sun 19-Jun-11 21:44:25

my Dd is the same age I just keep saying the same simple words if she touches something dangerous just No if i do not want her to have it I say this is mummy's book that is XX's book, just lots of repetition also if playing and she pulls my hair or somethning I just say gentle but she understands quite a lot, she will fetch her shoes when asked go to front door when i say car and back door when i say going in garden,
her favourite is pulling books of bookshelves we have 100's so moving them higher is not an option I say no she looks at me trying to gauge whether I can be bothered getting off sofa to stop her then continues but you have to keep going I told her about 27 times in 10 mins but she is getting better she seems to have grasped that i am not going to relent and let her put all the books in a heap on the floor, distaction helps she loves sitting on sofa beside me with grown up book pretending to read while I read

the improvement with spoon in just 4 weeks is amazing, tiny yogurt pots like petit filous are really hard better to empty into ditch ( grabs hard hat)

I enjoy her immensely but sometimes it is hardwork especially as her attention span for mischief is about 40 minutes and attention span for nice toys and cbeebies about 5 minutes! if you can not hear them assume worst and run. do not let any one teach them anything, she has learnt to climb anything gets on kichen table all the time by dragging chairs then using bar of high chair to lever herself onto dining chair then onto table, gets different size boxes to make herself a staircase to get on computer desk thankfully we live in old house and she can not open any doors so at least i still can shut her out of places but she still tries them periodically in case DH has forgotten and left them open hence the incident of emptying toilet bowl water into bucket and watering all my floors

like my sister says body of an angel mind of a terrorist she is a delight but has the potential to cause coronaries with her dare devilry

holyShmoley Mon 20-Jun-11 19:25:07

Our twins are twenty months and I agree that you are being unrealistic. They have few/no memories, and that includes our pearls of wisdom too. In terms of the food they won't starve themselves and do seem to improve in spurts, is it possible they are getting too much milk and that it is suppressing their appettite. My real advice though is to never ever fight about food.

if the constant 'telling them' is getting you down then maybe consider other less 'confrontational' (not the word i'm looking for) styles

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