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A little cry and comfort needed

(14 Posts)
xkatyx Sat 18-Jun-11 18:49:30

Hello everyone,

I'm currently pregnant with twins so will be baby 4/5 was a complete shock as we were using contraceptives.

I have ds 8, dd 5, and a baby 5 months old.

Today I feel like crying as I'm so scared, my baby isn't sleeping through yet we have tried everything from controlled crying to bringing her in bed the lot! Anyway this wouldn't bother me apart from the fact these two babies will most properly be here in 5 months and I'm freaking out. How am I going to cope if she still wants feeding then?

Plus the last month or so she has gone from the most happiest baby ever to a bit of a crier. I love my kids to bits I wouldn't have them any other way I'm just really really scared how I am going to manage.

Dh said we should go out for a meal tom for fathers day but I know she will properly have a good old cry the whole time we are out.

Sorry for the whinge i just don't really know where else to go with it, dh is fab and just Sais we will be fine and how exciting it is.

hobnobsaremyfave Sat 18-Jun-11 19:19:46

Oh my life Katy I'm not surprised you feel utterly overwhelmed grin. Broken sleep is hellish enough but more so when pregnant and even more so with twins. Try not to panic too much your DD will change a lot over the next months so the situation you are in at the moment will not be where you are in 5 months IYSWIM. For now just break each day down into doable bits and just do what you must to survive anything beyond that is just not important.

Grabaspoon Sat 18-Jun-11 19:22:05

RE the sleep be consistant chose a method and stick to it - if one night you're doing CC and the next you're cuddling her to sleep then she won't know what's going on.

Hugs

xkatyx Sat 18-Jun-11 21:19:43

Thank you very much for support and advice.

I tried the cc for nearly 2 weeks sad
she just got worse last night we were up for nearly 4 hours I did everything by the book, just every night seams to get worse?! So at about 4.30am I had to give her milk to get her to sleep ( that was the first time in 2 weeks she had milk at night) and I think this is why she really isn't a happy girl in the day anymore .. Should I keep trying the cc method do u think? I would appreciate any advice at all.

She has had a perfect routine since she was born chill out time bath then baby massage and then milk and put down awake .. I don't know what else I can do boo hoo.

whysolate Sat 18-Jun-11 21:30:36

Wow Katy! I'm not surprised you're feeling this way. I can understand to an extent how you are feeling. I have a nine month age gap between my youngest two, but I wasn't pregnant with twins! I felt completely and absolutely overwhelmed. None of my children have been good sleepers either. My youngest is 3.6 now and still likes to get up between 5 and 6am. I think I have got used to it now. I remember that just thinking "it will get easier" got me through the days that were really difficult.

It is do-able and you do just have to take one day at a time. Do you have any family of friends for support once the babies arrive?

naturalbaby Sat 18-Jun-11 21:42:29

wow, big un-MN hugs! my dc3 is nearly 5months and i'm determined to crack the sleeping thing without months of struggle like with my older 2. i did everything baby led with ds2, he slept through at 12months, and did cc with ds1 at 7months after trying everything else because i was a few weeks pregnant and exhausted/desperate and he's always been a much better sleeper.

can you hang on with cc for a few more weeks? Have you got a guide or book that you are following? have you started weaning yet? i found those extra few weeks made a huge difference and i was also confident that they really weren't hungry as i was feeding them up so much during the day. it took 4weeks and was really hard, and you have to do the exact same thing for every sleep and nap so baby knows what to expect every time.

i've been following gina ford which has really helped get naps and times of the day sorted. i donm't follow it to the letter but it's really helping me keep on track. i always settle him for a sleep 10mins before he's due to sleep with a comforter in a dark room. he has lullabies for when he's a bit more unsettled and a dummy, but i'm thinking of getting rid of it cause my older 2 would wake up for it several times a night.

xkatyx Sun 19-Jun-11 19:13:51

Hello, firstly thank you for the advice I really appreciate it.

Yes I also have been following ginas book.
Not to the tee though otherwise I would never be able to go out.

The baby has has a routine since she was born same bath time and bed time and down in her cot everytime. And also has routine feeding and nap times in the day also.

I really hope the unhappy whingey stage passes I want mg happy little Filey back where I could take her anywhere. Hopefully it's just a stage.

PukeyRag Sun 19-Jun-11 20:54:37

Firstly, congrats on your pregnancy. You will certainly have a full house grin

Secondly, I personally think you have realised how much you're going to be taking on and you're panicking, and trying everything you can to find a solution and get it sorted straight away (and who can blame you?)

Relax. Remind yourself that a ten month old is completely different to a 5 month old. She will improve, try not to imagine the twins coming in to the situation as it is now. Fast forward and imagine what your DD will be like when she's older, when the twins arrive.
A few months is a lot of room for improvement. Make a plan, work out what you want to do, stick to it and things will be fine. If you have a clear head, your DD will relax too. Stop worrying.

Thirdly, good luck and stay calm smile

Curlybrunette Sun 19-Jun-11 21:06:20

Hi Katy,

Sorry you're feeling stressed, there's no wonder things will change a lot when the twins come but I just wanted to say as others have that your 5 month old will have changed so much in 5 months.

the other thought I've had about your dd, is she ready to sleep through with no milk? Is she on solids, at 5 months it's not unusual for her to still need milk during the night if she isn't eating a great deal of food. Would 1 quick bottle/feed in the night fill her up and she'll go straight back to sleep?

Hugs
x

mathanxiety Sun 19-Jun-11 23:32:37

Your DH's suggestion of a dinner for father's day sounds as if he cares about you and wants to give you a little respite, but I can see it isn't exactly what you specifically need right now.

For the moment I would be inclined to forget the CC (and GF routine if you are finding it a bit confining) and have your DH do one night of feeding and then you take the next night. As you said, your baby has recently changed (for the worse) but she will change and grow a lot in the next 5 months too. I have not been in your shoes, and I know this sounds trite, but try to just share the load and be optimistic.

OTOH, a night nurse might be right up your street, if you can afford one. In your situation even if it doesn't look affordable, it might be worth a lot of belt tightening to get one. You need to rest with twins on the way or you will be wrecked when they arrive. I'd like to echo what has been advised about roping in all the help you can get when the twins are born -- maybe hire someone for the nights if not for daily help too. Look into au pairs if this would be feasible.

Do you have help during the day now? Even a 12 or 13 year old neighbour could do a little mother's helping with your DCs in the afternoon after school a few days a week. A girl (maybe even a boy) that age can change a nappy and entertain little ones while you get dinner sorted or just put your feet up.

mathanxiety Sun 19-Jun-11 23:33:39

I wondered about the feeding during the night too, Curly -- a night feeding at 5 months doesn't sound unusual at all to me.

xkatyx Mon 20-Jun-11 08:38:04

I would happily feed her and do .. But for some reason it doesn't work as it used to lol

She woke about midnight last night and we fed her she still fusses, she never used to do this .. I don't know what is up with her at the moment I really don't.

I'm going to get her weighed today so I will have a chat with health visitor see if she has any Ideas .. May also pop her to doctors in week just to check it's not anything else like ear ache or something even though she doesn't seam ill at all

X

MockingbirdsNotForSale Mon 20-Jun-11 09:07:52

Take heart- my DD was sleeping through then at 17 weeks stopped. Now at 8 months she sleeps through more often than not. Its possibly the developmental spurt thing so try not to stress it and relax. She may be picking up on your stress too. Congratulations on your pregnancy and good luck. x

MudandRoses Mon 20-Jun-11 22:08:34

hi i just wondered whether it isn't her teeth starting to move? my DS2 started to be more fussy at night from around 6 months- it was a combination of teeth, becoming more mobile (so he moved around more in his cot) and growth spurts. sometimes you do just have to feed them at night if they seem desperate - if it's a growth spurt they will be genuinely hungry - there's no point losing more sleep sticking to a regime that isn't working. good luck!

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