So how long should you get them to sleep by whatever means?(11 Posts)
Following on from the very reassuring moses basket thread... (god sometimes I bore myself..bloody baby brain)
My second dd is 10 weeks and although I'm really lucky that she sleeps for a really good stretch at night in her basket (from 11ish, sometimes earlier until 6.30ish), will not settle until she is totally worn out from crying and feeding all evening. A few weeks ago we got her to settle for a long daytime nap, but that seems to have gone out of the window too now.
I feel like I'm floundering about and not sure what to do? She screams and screams until she is sick and choking. She's a really windy colicky baby so I'm hesitant to leave her crying, particularly when she's so hysterical.
When she's crying she's only happy in the 'facedown in elbow' (not sure that's the official name...) hold or on my shoulder being bounced.
I guess what I'm asking is, Is she just being a bugger or is it because she's genuinely in pain? And do I continue to get her to sleep any way I can or am I just being soft? I seem to have all these mum's around me who are either of the 'i just let him cry' ethic or of the strict routine club and am feeling inadequate!
Babies don't cry to irritate you or wind you up, they cry for a reason - it might be pain, discomfort or just needing to be near you.
Of course you should be soft on a 10 week old! Not even the harshest controlled crying advocates recommend leaving them to cry before 6 months anyway.
She's 10 weeks old!! Comfort her, hold her, enjoy her!!!
I am so tired of the 'how soon can we get the baby to sleep through' school of thought!! Yes, it's exhausting but babies cry, as RitaMorgan said, for a reason. They have no other way to communicate to you that they need something, even if that something is only a cuddle.
Heck my 2 year old still can't tell me for sure what he wants!
It won't be forever. So do what you have to do to get her to sleep, hold her however she wants to be held. As often as she needs to be held.
God, please don't just let her cry! You cannot be 'too soft' on such a teeny tiny baby. My DS is almost 8 months and a great self settler, but there are times even now when he needs my help - rocking in his buggy, a cuddle when he wakes up from a bad dream or illness, feeding to sleep if he's really unsettled etc etc. I know when he's just overtired and needs to calm down without me interfering, but at that age i mostly still wore him in a sling and did absolutely anything to get him to sleep! Ignore anyone who tells you you're making a rod for your own back - it's utter tosh.
Thanks, think I just needed to hear someone say that, I completely agree. My first dd is much older and I feel like a panicky first time mum again!
I have done CC with great success but would have never dreamt to have done it before the age 6 months.
If she suffers with colic, maybe you should try to sort it out (colief, cranial osteopathy...)
She sounds like a very normal 10 week old! If it's colic then feeding more during the day may help and also it's usually fading by 12 weeks so the end is probably in sight! Ignore the cry-it-out-ers and the routine-ers - 10 weeks is too small for any of that!
Absolutly agree with tee and others...far too much importance put on getting tiny babies to sleep through, self settle etc. Personally i was happy to let ds do this all in his own time. So i fed in the night, bf'd to sleep etc. He is now 16m, sleeps through (mostly!) still bf's to sleep and cosleeps. He has two naps a day and i'm very gratefull that he will sleep in the car, buggy or boob, as opposed to just in a cot. Having done "whatever it takes" means that we have a variety of options so we can still get on with our life!
I know how you feel op, some people seem to think it's vergeing on neglegent not to impose a routine etc. There can be a lot of pressure. I console myself with the knowledge that they are wrong and cheerfully ignore them.
It sounds like whatever colic etc issue your dd has is a seperate one, but i have no doubt that you are helping at meeting her need to be held, as expressed by her crying.
did she have a difficult birth? a friend of a friend's baby did and a cranial osteopath has been working wonders - down to telling her what position to hold baby in to help her feel settled.
colic drops? i tried it around this age cause my baby was screaming, screeching and crying but then suddenly he settled down and was happy to sleep by himself in the moses basket all day! he's just gone through a similar clingy screaming phase but has just gone through the big 4months growth spurt.
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