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dare I say it... a four year age gap rather managable!!!?

(47 Posts)
isobelle Thu 16-Jun-11 20:35:09

Ooooh its not been plain sailing but very managable and enjoyable - would definitely recommend it.

The older child wants to be independent and also you get respite with nursery or school so plenty of time with baby too.

Although this could change but will continue to enjoyxxx

welliesandpyjamas Thu 16-Jun-11 20:38:54

Enjoy:-) Our 5 yr gap has proved very sweet indeed.

mouseanon Thu 16-Jun-11 20:40:26

I'm 4 yrs in to having a 4 yr gap and love it! Got another one arriving soon grin.

RitaMorgan Thu 16-Jun-11 20:47:39

Interesting to hear! We are currently discussing what sort of age gap to go for with dc2 (ds is 10 months) and I had been lobbying for 2 years, but 4 years could be good.

Do siblings with a 4 year gap manage to play together or is there not enough common ground?

MarshaBrady Thu 16-Jun-11 20:51:29

Yes it's great I agree. The eldest makes the 18 month old laugh and reads stories to him.

Very cute and pretty easy.

MissTinaTeaspoon Thu 16-Jun-11 20:54:50

Thank you for this thread. My dd is 3.4 and we've been trying for another for a year but after a mc and so many unsuccessful months we'll have at least a 4 year gap now so this thread has made me smile smile because I was worried about such a big gap.

Thank you grin

reup Thu 16-Jun-11 20:57:32

I have an almost 4 yr gap. It's good when the 2nd is younger and they can play together well. But at 4 and 8 they
do spend a lot of time arguing and fighting.

GwendolineMaryLacey Thu 16-Jun-11 20:59:03

Goodo. This one is due a week before dd's 4th birthday. It's a bigger gap than I wanted but hey ho.

FridayFanjoFun Thu 16-Jun-11 21:01:11

We have an 3 yr 10 mth gap and it made the transition from one to two very pleasant indeed grin. No double buggy, no double set of nappies, and my older one understood what was going on to some degree and was sleeping properly and was generally a together little person when no.2 arrived.

They are 7 yrs and 3 yrs now and pretty much playmates, although my 7yr old does sometimes say he wished he had a twin rather than a 'stupid little sister' wink

UrsulaBuffay Thu 16-Jun-11 21:03:42

If I ever have another DD will be at least 4 so it's good to hear!

PrinceHumperdink Thu 16-Jun-11 21:06:40

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

firemansamantha Thu 16-Jun-11 21:07:27

OOOh, very interesting, thank you!!

I've got two years between mine and do want another,. but really can't face it til they're both in school, which would mean a 4 year age gap between her and the new baby. Have been wondering if it would be too much but it seems it comes highly recommended!!!

How old is your youngest now, op?

Eglu Thu 16-Jun-11 21:09:07

I have 4 years between DS1 and DS2, it has been great. Am expecting DC3 in 2 weeks and having an almost 4 year gap again. It is great to have that bit of independence. Not needing to be dressed etc.

welliesandpyjamas Thu 16-Jun-11 22:54:51

Mine have a real ball together, especially if it involves farts, burps, lego, knex, jumping around the furniture, and Shaun the Sheep! grin They are 2 and 7. And yes, they are boys! My youngest pines for his idol brother all day while he's in school and my eldest is wonderfully affectionate and protective of his little brother. They do fall out when tired or grouchy and can be very competitive, but not too often that it is a problem. I love the age gap.

Ladybee Fri 17-Jun-11 06:50:52

Another one here who is grateful to hear the positive comments about the bigger age gap. I've had 3 MCs in the least year and it's totally altered my 'planned' idea of how my family would be - especially as I'm one of three who were born within 4 years. IF I get to have another, I'm pleased it to hear the gap might be turn out to be an advantage.

BeattieBow Fri 17-Jun-11 06:57:57

Good to hear - like Tinateaspoon we have been trying for a while and are now looking at a 4 year age ago which I was getting worried about.

cornishpasty Fri 17-Jun-11 06:59:26

Almost exactly 4 year gap here too that I would definitely recommend.
It's great, the older one can understand a little better about new baby arriving and they love to help a little. Plus as others say you get a break when older one goes to nursery.
It's not too big s gap that they can't still play together. My two are 13 and 9 and still get on well (most of the time anyway).

lenak Fri 17-Jun-11 07:03:53

DD2 is due to be born 9 days after DD1's 4th birthday. We pretty much planned it that way. By the time I go back to work, we will only have 3 months of two lots of nursery fees :-)

There are 4.5 years between DH and his brother, with their cousins having a similar age gap and they all got on fantastically as kids and adults.

Finn77 Fri 17-Jun-11 07:08:26

Great gap, my older DD's have a gap of 3yr 6mths and despite initial hating of DD2 for the first 6 months they are as close as twins, total best friends, amazing. Now 10 and 7 and would love to be in the same class at school. There will be a gap of 4yrs between my DS and my new DD (still pg ) so it will be interesting to see how that relationship pans out.

FlightofFancy Fri 17-Jun-11 11:05:21

Really pleased to read this, as I'm hoping for a 4 year ish gap - DS is currently 18m. Mainly because we can't afford two lots of nursery fees, and can't afford for one of us not to work. But, also have had lots of friends have two very close together and it's looked like very hard work. Get the impression that bigger gap means you get to enjoy number 2 a little more rather than just looking on it as a few years to be 'got through'.

GoldenGreen Fri 17-Jun-11 11:12:07

Four year gap here - has worked well for us as have really enjoyed my time with dd while ds has been at school. Bit apprehensive about the summer holidays with 5 and 1 year old though - think it will be hard work as they can't really play together yet!

Korinna Fri 17-Jun-11 11:16:33

Hi there, I also have a just under 4 year gap (7 and 11 both boys) and it's lovely. Yes they do fight but also play a lot together and have many common interests. They play lego (and xbox lego games) a lot. My oldest is a bit 'young' and my youngest a bit 'old' - I think it's the effect of spending so much time together - I would say I have 2 9 year olds! smile))

IShallWearMidnight Fri 17-Jun-11 11:18:50

I have a 4.5 year gap and a 4 year gap. 1 and 2 get on fabulously, 2 and 3 get on pretty well, but there's the best part of 9 years between 1 and 3, so they don't have a great deal in common. Biggest issue was always having to drag DD3 along to stuff the older ones were doing, and not being able to find stuff that they could all enjoy at their own level at the same time unitl they were a bit older; biggest plus is that I have free babysitting on tap (at least till DD1 goes off to uni in the autumn) wink.

drivinmecrazy Fri 17-Jun-11 11:24:53

4 1/2 yr gap between two DDs. Great to start with but now at 5 & 10 a blardy nightmare. 5yo wants to pay with sister but 10yo not interested. Bed times a nightmare cos DD2 doesn't undertsand why DD1 stays up later. I think at the moment the gap between their social development is so huge that the only thing they do together is argue. Am hoping the gap may close as DD2 gets older but nothing but grief at the moment. I actually regret not having a smaller gap as I think they may of had more things on common.
Days out are also a nightmare, a fun day out for a 5 yo is not necessarily great for a 10yo and vice versa

HyenaInPetticoats Fri 17-Jun-11 11:28:06

I have a 4 year gap and it's been good. I mean, not perfectly harmonious all the time - they're still siblings competing for resources - but manageable. Lovely for the first 6 months, ds1 got a bit of a shock when that interesting but immobile baby started coming to get his toys, and since then they've been different enough that they seem to live together reasonably comfortably. Not much playing together, but since ds1 has ASD I'm not sure that would have happened anyway. And they were both appalling insomniacs for the first three years of their lives (hence the gap, partly - the idea of having sex when we could have been asleep was bizarre) - I honestly can't imagine the complete physical and mental melt-down I'd have had if they'd both been awake all night at the same time.

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