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Losing my Son - Help!

(7 Posts)
cem1803 Thu 16-Jun-11 12:51:58

Hello all,
I just wondered if anyone else has been through where I am at the minute. My LO is 2 and a bit - my only one. He was born by emergency C section so initially I had a few problems feeling totally connected with him. He went to his Dad first and it was four hours before I met him. Then we had problems with him breast feeding so I lost that time with him too but everything had been alright. I should say I love him more than anything in the world, he is everything to me, so much so that I haven't gone back to work as planned so I can be with him. Just lately however there has been a noticable shift in our relationship - basically he just all about his Dad. His Dad works long hours so he doesn't get to see him all that much and I know this just sounds like I am jealous but he is literally ALL his Dad - he won't say Mumma/Mum/ Mummy any more even though it was his first word. I can't settle him at night any more he just screams for his Dad he doesn't come to me when he's hurt himself or is ill like he used to - now he either pushes me away if I try to comfort him hits me or just cries until he feels like stopping. I do keep telling myself he's two he doesn't know what this is doing to me its not deliberate but its starting to really get to me now! I love my OH to pieces but lets be honest he does nothing for our LO other than rag about with him now and again. I'm just lost! I don't know what to do to get my little boy back its breaking my heart. What's worse is I can feel myself hardening to him and I am back feeling like I did when he was a newborn. Advice?

betterwhenthesunshines Thu 16-Jun-11 12:54:12

He's 2 and starting to identify himself with the man in the house - you are over reacting. Try not to take it personally and things will settle down.

MollysChamber Thu 16-Jun-11 12:55:41

My three all went through this stage. I found that for the first year and a bit they were "mine", then DH was just the best thing ever and had to do everything for them when he was home. It calms down after a while and it's more equal now. DH would probably say they come to me more.

cubscout Thu 16-Jun-11 14:39:01

Just a phase, and the first of many. Boys have periods when they identify more with a male parent - it's jus about learning to be a boy. My ds was like this at 2, then at 3 he shut oh out and it was all about me, wanting to marry me when he grew up etc.

My ds is 9 now and going through another 'dad' phase. But when the chips are down you will alaways be mum.

cem1803 Thu 16-Jun-11 16:03:51

Thanks for those - I know I am super sensitive about this - I think, no I KNOW, I still carry a lot of rubbish and guilt around with me from when he was born not being there for him etc. It's just such a dramatic shift in him it's really upset me. He was so loving and now I can't go within a foot of him without him having a total melt down and the biggest thing that has got to me is this refusing to call me Mumma/Mum/Mummy - and I do say refusing because I know he knows what I am called and I know he can say it as he used to he just WONT! But maybe I have to accept for the time being my name is 'point and shriek!'
I shall turn it around and embrace the 'Daddy-ness' my new phrase will be 'No no He wants YOU to do it I'm off back to sleep!' ;)

MollysChamber Thu 16-Jun-11 16:05:04

Oh yes, there are benefits. Enjoy them because it really doesn't last!

microserf Sat 18-Jun-11 21:40:24

My dd went through this stage, and it seemed it would never end. Everyone noticed it, and I was miserable.

Now, it's the way around all of a sudden! I felt guilty as I had a bad pregnancy which meant I couldn't take care of dd as well as I wanted (v high risk with ds). It all comes right in the end...

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