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Coping after paternity leave

(7 Posts)
Justfeckingdoit Wed 15-Jun-11 20:38:56

My DH has had 2 weeks paternity leave which ends tomorrow. He is at a work thing this pm, which is the first time I have been on my own with Dc1 am I am knackered! It's only been 6 hours and all I have done is feed her.

How on earth am I going to cope! Any tips for the first few weeks?

Tee2072 Wed 15-Jun-11 20:41:01

Loads of DVDs, finger foods and the remote near by!! Ignore the house work. Bare minimum of laundry. Take aways.

And lots of lots of newborn head sniffing and snuggles!! envy

bail Thu 16-Jun-11 09:05:18

Take it one step at a time but I suggest you do not let the days pass in a blur of feeding and TV watching, as this will begin to make you feel a bit grotty after awhile. My hubby only took a week after and I was anxious when he returned but made sure that by the time he arrived home I had at least showered, got dressed, got the baby dressed and been out for a little walk. Minimal housework but I did not ignore it as although ok for the first day or two, it soon stacks up and ends up being a depressing sight.

For the first couple of weeks, it was microwave meals for dinner but then I tentatively began to cook simple dinners, when the babe was having a nap I would prepare.

It is hard, but such a lovely gentle time. I know my advise is against TEE2072 but I honestly believe that a little bit of Ooomph in the first couple of weeks sets you up nicely whilst allowing you loads of kisses and sweet loving of your babe. Difference is... you smell nice, your house is semi-tidy and your hubby is not stressed. Old fashioned way of thinking? Perhaps, but ultimately best for all

missp2010 Thu 16-Jun-11 09:18:43

Ooh I am so jealous. DD2 is nearly six weeks old and I would really love to be able to focus all of my attention on her. Unfortunately I don't think DD1 or DS would be impressed if I did that! I agree with bail and tee2072 take things easy, get lots of rest, don't feel guilty if you sit in front of day time tv feeding baby. But at the same, try and get a bit of fresh air and adult conversation each day. Otherwise you can start to go a bit nuts! Do whatever you feel comfortable with and don't let anyone make you feel bad for doing that.

These early days will really fly by, you don't want to look back and realise you spent more time cleaning the house than bonding with your new baby.

MovingAndScared Thu 16-Jun-11 09:30:38

Hi- I would go between the 2 posts above -
it is totally normal for 2 week babies to feed and feed - it can be a growth spurut and really regard anything else you get done as a bonus! And warn your DH of that -
is there anyone else that could come round and give a hand at all?
what time does your DH leave for work - could you have a shower before he does while he holds baby - that really got me down if I couldn't be at least clean
and ideally get him to make a sandwich before he goes so you will have had something to eat if it one of those days!
And babies do sometimes feed less and sleep more when you are out of the house so it is a good aim to do that - and its good for both of you -even it just a walk round the corner
if your baby is one that needs holding a lot you could try a sling then you can at least move about
and do you have a BF support group that a lovely place to go with a new baby even if feeding is going well
bail = some babies do not seem to nap lying down-yours clearly did - my first one didn't really for weeks and weeks -so yes if yours does nap in their pram/moses basket - do stuff round the house but for some it just isn't possible
good luck!!

gourd Thu 16-Jun-11 10:33:49

We got by but did the bare minimum of housework and ate a lot of pre-cooked and frozen meals I'd prepared whilst in maternity leave and also a lot of quick stir fries and steak and salad dinners! Get husband to pick up cooked chicken on way home one night and have with salad! When husband comes home, let him hold baby whist you put away laundry or whatever but also do take it in turns to do these jobs and only do a few minutes at a time - don't expect to clean the whole house in one go, or do all the ironing or even put away all the clean clothes in one go, a few minutes here and there will keeps things ticking over without the house ever being totally disgusting or totally clean!!!

trixie123 Thu 16-Jun-11 12:50:36

As others have said, take it one day at a time. I would also advocate getting up and dressed by a reasonable time every morning and getting yourself out of the house even if its just to wheel your lovely newborn around in the shiny new pram! If you like this kind of thing, go to Starbucks etc. I went in with DD (DC2) yesterday intending to have a quiet brew and read the newspaper and had to spend the entire time fending off cooing women who wanted to pick her up and cuddle her, feed her for me hmm and generally giving me lots of attention. I probably would have enjoyed it with my first! You will have good days and bad days but overall this is a nice quiet, calm time before they start moving around and wrecking stuff smile. Try to go with the flow a bit and if she needs a cuddle, sit and give her one rather than fretting about the washing / ironing. Enjoy.

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