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Bit worried about shyness.

(3 Posts)
TotallyLovely Sun 12-Jun-11 21:37:28

My DD is nearly 5 and has been to lots of parties recently. At each one she has initially not wanted to leave my side which I am fine with, although it often lasts most of the party. They have mostly been one's where she doesn't know all the children or there has been an entertainer as she finds them intimidating and loud I think (don't blame her).

She has always held back until she felt comfortable but I think I might be noticing it more now as all the other children seem to have gotten more confident. At a party a few days ago though she knew only 2 other children but wouldn't even go and speak to them or go and join in the games which I felt was such a shame. When it was food time I couldn't get her to speak up about which foods she wanted and I ended up having to speak for her.

I know shyness is normal but I was shy and it was horrible. I have tried so hard to bring her up to be sociable as I am very sociable myself these days so we are always mixing with different people. Thinking about it when we go on playdates she is usually fine if there are only a couple of other children.

I have a relation with a social phobia which made them almost reclusive and ruled their life so am worried that she is going to be like that sad. I so hope these things aren't heriditary.

At school lately she seems to be feeling a bit intimidated by other children as well.

Don't know what to do, if anything.

monoid Mon 13-Jun-11 00:51:52

No advice as such, I'm afraid. I do think you should speak to her teacher(s) at school and see if they are also concerned by it. It may be that she is more sociable when you are not there and just prefers being with you when you are there.
It can be daunting if you are at a party and don't know many people there. I would struggle with that!
Also, is it the case that she hasn't met many children before starting school? She may just be getting used to having people of her own age around her. Social skills are something that need to be learned.
Anyway, as I said, I think your best bet is to speak to her teacher and see if it seems to be a problem at school. They will be able to help find a solution if that is the case. I have found that some teachers don't really help a situation unless you specifically ask them to.

TotallyLovely Mon 13-Jun-11 08:02:15

monoid No she had met loads of other children before school. There was quite a big group of friends that would meet up with their children, often several times a week, so it definately wasn't new to her. Will speak to the teacher.

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