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Daughter shuns her father

(5 Posts)
LyndsLove Fri 10-Jun-11 09:59:57

I have a very close relationship with my almost three year old daughter who, while she enjoyes spending one-on-one time with her father over weekends (usually Sundays), doesn't see a lot of him during the week and shuns him when she does. She will cuddle and love me, but will not allow him to kiss either her or me when he manages to come home before her bedtime. She is actually quite horrible towards him and he is not allowed to do anything for her, eg bath, dress or feed her, but she likes him to put her to bed in the evening, at which point she becomes quite loving towards him. This is very confusing for both of us and we are unsure what is causing this and how to deal with it. Can anybody help?

Hunterswish Fri 10-Jun-11 16:21:27

Hi :0
I guess, it is because you are the constant parent? You are there all the time and she has you all to herself. of course she does not what to share you ! Sundays? Is that because Dad has been around all day Saturday too?The fact that she is loving towards him when it comes to bed time suggests to me that she loves her Daddy and now its bedtime she is glad he is there to say goodnight :0
Try not to worry (although I know it is easier said than done !) DD will adjust as she gets older. She is just reacting to the fact that you are always together so when Dad does come home it takes a while to adjust to it being the 3 of you again smile
Good luck
Take care

LyndsLove Fri 17-Jun-11 13:32:59

Thanks for the message - been away, so only reading it now. We have had quite a good week and she has been getting closer to her dad, so currently quite peaceful in the house. He works most Saturday's too, so generally she only gets to spend time with him on Sundays, where they will usually do something just the two of them before we try to do something as a family - though really appreciate the 'time off' as well smile

Just10moreMinutes Fri 17-Jun-11 20:36:00

No advice to give but just wanted to say my DD behaves like this to her Dad too.

DP works long hours during the week - he only sees DD for about fifteen minutes each morning before he dashes out of the door and he is rarely home before she's asleep. He goes away one weekend a month too (hobby not work).

DD is 4 and a half now and things are improving, but she often still greets him with "go away!" if he happens to get home early. It has been going on for so long that DP and I barely think about it any more.

She and DP get along famously when I am not around or when we have a period of time on holiday together. It is definitely the transition from just the two of us to a group of three she struggles with.

mathanxiety Mon 20-Jun-11 01:20:55

Go with the flow and don't take it personally. She is probably going through a phase or having a hard time adapting (3 year olds don't do change very well).

Wait til she's a teenager and she really hates you both....

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