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desperately trying

(10 Posts)
leafymum Fri 10-Jun-11 00:17:10

This is my first ever post. I'm feeling pretty crappy and not coping recently with parenting. I have two of the best boys, but I often feel pushed to my limit. I'm properly losing my voice today and coping with all the daily trials and tribulations seems 10 times harder. I justify the occasional grumpy day by saying this is my lot for now. But today that is not working. I need a holiday but no money for that. Husband works for himself and rarely at home for bedtime. I work 3 days a week, in a job that you can't switch off from which is adding to the stress.

Today my youngest chucked all his brothers dinner on the floor....not a particularly unusual event but today I just sat and cried for about an hour. I have been getting weekend migraines more frequently. Am I having a nervous breakdown? I'm certain i'm not the only one that experiences days like these, but I would still love to hear from those of you in the same boat.

I'm just trying to be a good mum and love my children. Please let me know if you're feeling the same.

fraktious Fri 10-Jun-11 07:26:49

Oh poor you sad

I think everyone has days like that but I get the feeling these happen pretty frequently for you. Do you have any 'you' time away from your children/your job where you can completely unwind? It's hard to sort out if your DH has a demanding job but you need a break too. Can you take it in turns at the weekend to have a morning or afternoon 'off'?

Have you seen a doctor about the migraines? They sounds like they could be quite debilitating. If you're losing your voice and generally feeling under the weather then everything does seem that much tougher to deal with. I hope you feel better soon and then maybe things will seem more manageable.

LaughingGiraffe Fri 10-Jun-11 17:06:53

I could have written your post! I too have boys and a very stressful job. Everything just feels like so much hard work and I am not enjoying my life. My youngest has the most awful tantrums and seems to direct them at me! You are not alone.

JIRkids Fri 10-Jun-11 17:31:00

You're not alone!

I feel like I am beginning to come out the other side now, mine are 4 and 7. Even, 6 months ago things were a lot harder. I hope this is encouraging for you! Still have issues but things seem so much more under control now they are older. xxx

rastaspouse Fri 10-Jun-11 18:34:48

hi I was just about to post a similarly-themed thread, I am definitely feeling the same, although my non-grumpy days are more occasional than the grump unfortunately, largely due to ongoing sleep problems with dd2. how old are your dc? I have a 4 and 1-year old and I am feeling as though things are not getting much easier yet, even though I feel as though I've been struggling for a while. I know things are much better now than 6 months ago, but i think i am getting more worn down. can't afford a holiday either. you are definitely not alone. but it is almost friday evening so get your feet up later with a wine

leafymum Fri 10-Jun-11 19:30:59

wow, I'm so pleased that I posted last night. Your comments have definitely given me a boost. I think the feeling of being a 'bad' mum is terribly debilitating, let alone the migraines on top. Thanks Fractious for your comment - I am seeing a doctor next week as I am concerned about the migraines, I hope they have a solution. I love your codename.

Sorry to hear about your littleones tantrums laughinggiraffe. My eldest has those kind too. I've got a 3 year old (4 in Sept) and a 22 month old. I've been telling myself and friends that the first year of having 2 was really hard and then it got easier, but actually it hasn't got any easier. The youngests latest habit of chucking food all over the place is enough to drive me to tears (as above) and the eldests ongoing demands are nerve breaking.

JIRkids - that does give me hope. Bring on school too!

Rastaspouce - I've just opened a bottle of wine to celebrate Friday night. Hurrah. We made it and the kids are still alive.

lots of love

eversoslightlytired Fri 10-Jun-11 21:13:16

Hi, same problem here. DS 3.11 driving me distraction. DD is 14 weeks so she can't really help it but for the last couple of days all I have wanted to do is cry! DS pushing me to my limits and seems to enjoy doing it! All quiet now though thank god. No wine for me unfortunately as BFeeding but I am enjoying a nice bag of M&M Peanuts!!

leafymum Fri 10-Jun-11 21:31:28

Hello, M&M's are a good alternative to wine. Well done for breastfeeding so long.. I stopped with no.2 DS after 6 months.

I can't believe how much I can cry these days. I couldn't keep my crying episode yesterday from my DS, he said to me "mummy's shouldn't cry like that" I felt awful. He's right I don't want my kids seeing me upset like that. It was very distressing for all of us. My DH is very understanding and has agreed to help more. Today I feel grateful for what I have but when you're in the midst of it, it's very hard to keep that perspective heh.

Wish I could keep my emotions more stable. Maybe that's what post menapause is for...not ready for that though.

LaughingGiraffe Sat 11-Jun-11 16:51:56

It is easy to be hard on ourselves I think. Being a Mum can be really hard. It is great that your DH is going to help out more. I cry a lot too...and compare myself unfavourably to others. I will get easier, my older kids are easier although haven't hit teenage years yet!

cottonreels Sat 11-Jun-11 21:40:36

Just wanted to say I have a 20 month old who also does the throwing food thing at times. When I can no longer face the tidying up, I put a little desk and chair in the garden on a nice day and she has dinner al fresco!

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