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Getting 1 mth old to sleep on his own(15 Posts)
I have DD aged 2.2 and DS 4.5weeks.
DD was nightmare to get to sleep in house so ended up taking her out every day. Finally built up mental strength to do battle to get her to go down on own in cot at 6 mths and it was v hard work.
Don't want to end up in same position with DS as I simply will not have time to fight with him in the same way.
He currently goes to sleep feeding at night and then into Moses basket. Can take 1-2 hours. During day will sometimes go down in mb but often not and again it's post feed.
Am I being utterly daft to want to try to get to the stage where he will go down awake and work himself over now when he is so little.
If not how will I go about it?
BTW we do not do dummies and he is ebf.
He ise very little to be going down on his own. At this stage they often still need lots of contact to get to sleep. Maybe leave it a bit?
i think all babies are different, and IME people who had poor sleepers on their first all had angels second time out!
Anyway, i used the baby whisperer method and it worked really well.
I'm guessing he is cluster feeding, (i.e. Normal) at the moment so maybe don't worry about how long it takes as long as he goes into the mb awake?
Good point holy - I definitely had that experience. DS1 never slept on his own (in retrospect he had all the reflux symptoms) where as DS2 would sometimes cry until I put him down. 4.5 weeks is so little there's probably not much point iuntrying to force and if he is like your DD surely it will just cause stress anyway.
He is currently going in MB asleep, over in my arms.
I'm just concerned about leaving so late that it's a huge fight. No it's early but had mild pnd last time and every time I think back on certain parts of her early babyhood I feel a mixture of panic and impotence. The sleep fights being one of them.
Will look at baby whisperer unless it advocates controlled crying.... Can't do it.
And day sleeping tends to be in buggy or carseat.
The no cry sleep solution mgiht be worht a look - it's LLL library approved so definitely BF friendlyand no controlled crying.
My point would be more that maybe whatever you did your DD would have been difficult about sleeping away from you so in some ways it creates more stress by trying to get them to do things they aren't ready for? Rather than just going with it for a while and letting them do things at their own pace. DS1 wouldn't go to sleep on his own until he was over 4 but then he just told me that I could go downsatirs now as he was 'okay'. I'm not suggesting, by the way, that yoiu should do what I did necessarily.
Can I ask why you feel you need them to be self-settling by a certain age?
I suppose I think that if he is not self settling I will not have time to actually spend getting him to sleep in his cot cause i cant leave my daughter for an hour while i fight with him several times a day. DD never fell asleep easily with just contact or feeding.
I'm possibly confusing 2 things:
Getting him to sleep in his cot without a huge fight - this is what I'm really after.
Self settling - would be nice in time because it would mean I can do 2 bedtimes as I'm missing putting DD.
Dont really know how to do either.
What about using a sling? I used to pop my younger ones in mine and then I could sit with my older toddler/child while they went to sleep or just sit and read (or BF and read to older one).
If it's spending time with your DD that's the problem it is only for a very short amount of time. Can you DP/DH see to her for the nex few weeks and just see how it goes?
Only sleeps in it if I'm walking - he's a bit bold really.
Think I'm going to try to use carrier more and just let him nod off where I can, car seat, buggy, whatever. Will try Moses basket too if he falls asleep in my arms but not get hung up on it.
Have a tendency to get hung up on something and think that's what I've done here. Can feel myself getting stressed abOut sleep when it's really not necessary.
Thanks for helping me rationalise.
DH is doing DD bed at mo but I feel sad to miss it.
Pink i think you have it in your last post.
Ime what worked for getting ds to sleep changed over time. Can you build a repertoir of methods that can fit round whatever you are doing with your dd? It strikes me that if you did get to a point where you ds sleeps in the cot you will be tied to the house with dd. If you encourage him to sleep in the sling, car, Buggy, boob you have a variety of options to help your lo drift off wherever you are with dd. Shops, Park, library, car etc...
At this stage there is no way i could have got ds to sleep even at the same time each day, never mind on his own. Trying would have been a nightmare. Luckily ime younger babies are much better at dropping off when they are tired...it's just that when they are tired changes. I just carted ds around to what i wanted to do and he kipped as and when. When dc2 arrives in sept i'll be running after a 19m ds and so will do the same with the new one and hope that they eventually drop in to ds's routine.
I can understand you being sad about dh doing dd's bed time, but isn't it nice for them to have that special time together?
As an after thought i believ the SIDS guidance is to have them always sleep in the same room as you until six months.
Also i found the baby carrier really uncomfortable from about three months. But ages later i made a sling and was amazed how much better it was! Still using it now, ds 15m, me 22wks pg.
My DS was hard to get to sleep in his cot or moses basket for the first few months. It was usually post-feed.
I used to pop him in his cot and then walk out. If he cried I would go back in and rub his chest and try and get him to settle. I would try this a few times. If it then didn't work, I would take him out and pop him in his pram or feed him some more and try again.
I feel for you. It was a bit of a nightmare but I think perserverence is worth it in the end. He now is reasonably good at self-settling and he is 6.5 months.
I never let him cry for long though. Max probably 5 min and only if it was grizzling crying. I.e. I am fighting falling asleep crying. I really didn't like letting him proper cry because he just got too worked up and I figured it wasn't good for him. So I would take him out, calm him down and try again.
Even now sometimes I have to take him out and try again after a while if he doesn't feel like going to sleep!
'Have a tendency to get hung up on something and think that's what I've done here. Can feel myself getting stressed abOut sleep when it's really not necessary.'
It's easily done - belive me I know. do you have an LLL group near you. You might find other mothers who have been in a similar situaion and there will also be mothers who are willing to just sit and listen soyou can sort stuff out in your own mind.
to me emmylou what you describe sounds like a nightmare with another dc around, but each to their own.
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