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I feel helpless, useless etc etc etc teenager troubles

(5 Posts)
lostsomewere Sat 04-Jun-11 22:12:53

I don't know were to start really. DD is 15 her behaviur has been gradually getting worse since she was about 14. She split up from her b/f in Feb and has gone off the rails since.

She is on the verge of getting expelled from school, She is truanting and being verbally abusive to teachers (although the few teachers she likes give her excellent reports).

She is drinking and has recently started to smoke. I know some teenagers start to drink at this age but on occasion she is totally wasted. When she chooses to be fairly nice the house is calm but when she is on one she is verbally abusive to everyone me DH, DD 9 and DS 7 and the tension in the house is unbearable.

Every couple of weeks she will come in really late 1-3 am, If I refuse her the laptop or reprimand her in this mood she has become physically violent, screaming abuse. DH has had to take DC to Mil in the middle of the night because they are terrified of her screaming and banging about. DS has AS and literally starts shaking now when she raises her voice and I worry about the effect this is having on him.

This weekend I had to phone the police because she still wasn't home by 3 and both her and her partner in crimes mobs were switched off. They were found drinking vodka in a 20 yr olds flat at 4 am. Although she wasn't abusive when the police brought her home she wss verbally agressive to the police. Once they left she became verbally abusive.

She is currently grounded, no latop but an hour ago she sneaked out.

When she is in a nice frame of mind she is lovely, we have talked and she can't give me a reason for why she behaves like this. I don't know what to do. I have tried grounding (doesn't work she sneaks out or climbs out of window) no pocket money (she has a sat job) mobile. I have tried making a fuss of her, spending quality time with her.

iI is like she has no impulse control, anger control. Its her way or the highway. She laughs in my face abd says what are you going to do? I feel so helpless she has the control and I don't know how ro regain it. I would never have dared to behave to my mum the way she does. I don't know were it all went so wrong.

I keep telling myself its her behaiour I don't like but more and more I am feeling like I don't like her and its breaking my heart to feel this way. I am worried sick about what the future holds for her.

shivster1980 Sat 04-Jun-11 22:25:08

Oh goodness, I really feel for you. I haven't got kids at this stage, although I do have friends with difficult teens. I therefore don't feel in a position to offer advice but didn't want to leave this unanswered.

Hope someone comes along for you soon.


lostsomewere Sat 04-Jun-11 22:30:44

I have name changed.

She is worst at a certain point in her cycle, but she is still rude a lot of the time but not as agressive.

She used to enjoy riding and i have seriously being think about buying her a horse (old nag). I know DH will disagree and see it as rewarding her but I am hoping it will break this cycle of knocking about the streets and drinking. Give her a way of alleviating the tension, angst, hormones. Money is tight, I work for an agency to fit around DS appointments but lately I am having to turn work down because of DD.

Cupawoman Sun 05-Jun-11 13:24:35

lostsomewere try posting this in the 'teenagers' section of 'being a parent' and there will be much more support there.

purpleknittingmum Sun 05-Jun-11 13:37:53

Have you tried supplements to deal with hormones? I noticed they took the edge from my daughters moods

We don't have problems as severe as yourself, her problem is mainly attitude etc, but we have been in touch with a Triple P programme and they have great advice

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