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I swore . . . again!(4 Posts)
How can I get out of the habit of swearing when I am angry? I don't swear at other times so my dcs haven't copied as they know it is bad.
It is the half-term stress! I have a very demanding 5yo. She has always been demanding but this week . . . ! I think having been at school all year she has got used to being constantly stimulated. Before school she used to play really well by herself, but now it's "muuuuumm play with me", "muuuuuuum why don't you ever play with me?" (we had done about 5 activites together already that day), "muuuuuuum can we do this?", "muuuuuuuum, why can't we do this?".
She has recently been given LOADS of craft projects which is great as she loves them but she wants to do them all at one or one straight after the other before I've even tidied up from the first one. They mostly need supervision and help as they are a bit old for her and she really wants me to do them with her.
We have been for walks, to the park, play dates, parties etc this week but it's still not enough.
So this morning she just kept going on asking for different things to eat, to play different things, asking weird questions that have no answer, saying I don't play with her enough (make me feel bad or what!), getting out craft project after craft project even though I have told her over and over that some of them will have to be done when dad is home (to look after other dc as they contain sharp bits).
So then I exploded, can't even remember what I said, something along the lines of "why can't you just leave me the fuck alone, always asking for things and hassling me!"
I would love to say this has never happened before but it happens relatively frequently
You need to try to recognise when you are about to lose it, before it happens and then go in another room and count to ten/swear/kick the sofa etc.
It is easier said than done of course! I find myself walking away swearing and the kids don't hear but one day they might and what I don't understand is why I am so full of anger when I love them dearly.
I do try that. For me clenching my teeth is a sure sign. Problem is though that I lose it so quickly that there is hardly any warning. I do kick the sofa (and other things) but usually whilst shouting obscentities at the top of my voice. I often walk away muttering and swearing as well and it took me a long time to realise that they CAN actually hear me!
Don't know why I am full of anger either
It wouldn't be so bad if she actually listened, eg:
dd: can you play this game with me?
me: not I've already told you I have to get xyz done so that we can go to the party later
(30 sec pause)
dd: can you do this project with me?
me: NNNOOOOOOOOOOO! I HAVE TOLD YOU! If I don't get xyz done we won't have time to go to the party!
dd: ok, but what about this? (picking up something else)
me: so you don't want to go to the party then?
me: we can't go if I do that project with you, so which is it you want, project or party?
dd: party (goes to watch film she asked for this morning but has been ignoring)
dd: let's play a game
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