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My 8 year old stepson has seen graphic images on internet

(3 Posts)
flowers45 Tue 31-May-11 14:25:05

Can anyone offer any advice, my partner has just discovered that his son who only turns 8 later this month, has been googling the words gay, sexing, boobs and naked ladies into google images. unfortunately he did it on my work mac which i never thought to put a security block on, so he has seen some very graphic images. he's not said anything to us, but my partner has just discovered. we daren't tell his mother as she's likely to fly off the handle that we never did security settings on this mac, but my partner knows that he needs to speak to his son about it when he's next with us. i can only find advice if you find your adolescent child looking at these images, not a child as young as 8. My partner knows that he wont shame him when he speaks to him, but it needs to be addressed. He's a very well behaved little boy and we're very shocked that he's done this. As far as we're aware he hasnt been given a talk about the birds and the bees, so it may be a little early to start talking to him about that without his mum's permission, but it may be inevitable that we have to!!!

SenoritaViva Tue 31-May-11 14:30:15

I would start by saying 'we know you've been using flower's work laptop to look up words on the internet, you're not in trouble but we do need to talk about it'.

I'd firstly find out why he's been looking up these words, like 'playground chat' and he doesn't know about it so he wanted to find out. e.g. is he being called gay? did he not know what 'sex' was (there was a recent thing about a boy calling an 8 year old girl a virgin on here).
I'd get him a book and talk him through the basics and make sure he knows he can come with you with any questions.
I'd also talk to him about 'inappropriate images' and that not everything that is out there is 'right'.

As hard as it might be it might be better to explain to his mum what has happened.

This sounds awful for you.

Oh and other thing to mention to him is that he should not be touching your work things!!!

mathanxiety Tue 31-May-11 15:54:33

I would also try to find out where he has come across the terms he typed into your Mac, without making it into a witch hunt. I agree with SenoritaViva, you will need to tell the mum, and share what you know about the circumstances (where he learned the terms and what he may have seen).

You could say (if it turns out that school is the source, which is likely -- probably some of the faster crowd in the playground) that if he has questions about these matters he must ask you or his mum or dad and not google.

There may be an issue of bullying -- he may have heard gay used as a slur, or there may be a group making others feel small by bandying 'mature' language about. I would try to find out where he got the idea of googling and whether this has been suggested at school or wherever else he may have got all of this into his head.

I think it's time for a chat about privacy of other people's bodies even though there may be pictures on the net, and respect for other people even if they do not have any respect for themselves, as well as respect for other people's possessions (your computer), maybe not necessarily the birds and bees yet (which shouldn't be done without consulting the mother so she knows what to expect in terms of questions from the boy at the very least).

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