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Has anyone read, 'Raising boys'? Shocked when i saw it!

(193 Posts)
threecurrantbuns Sat 28-May-11 15:29:51

I walked by this book the other day and had to double take, didnt seem pc to me but after saying so to another mum she talked as if its a well known book.

I have two dds a one ds (my youngest) so maybe thats why ive never come across it until now.

I was shocked at first, thinking surely we should parent our children the same way whether they are boys or girls!??

But now im wondering whether to take a peek at it, i have become curious, i didnt grow up around boys, just had sisters, maybe there is something im missing!?

geraldinetheluckygoat Sat 28-May-11 15:36:14

yes and i love it!!!

colditz Sat 28-May-11 15:37:43

You can parent your children in the same way whether they are boys or girls, but as boys are a completely different gender to girls, have a different muscular structure and different hormonal balance from birth, you might find it difficult.

PortPortBlacksand Sat 28-May-11 15:38:02

As the mother of two boys who are very different i would avoid a book with that title like the plague. In fact i avoid all parenting books in general....

threecurrantbuns Sat 28-May-11 15:42:26

geraldine can i ask if anything in particular made you love it?

colditz i agree hence why ive become curious about the book, but i also wonder if its a bad idea to read as then my head will be whirling, as with alot of parental literature, cant help myself reading but then get a bit wrapped up, hence why im being retrained and not on amazon instead of mn smile

Maybe its better to follow instincts with gender in mind or maybe the book would enlighten and help hmm

threecurrantbuns Sat 28-May-11 15:42:57


rubyrubyruby Sat 28-May-11 15:47:04

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

monstermissy Sat 28-May-11 15:47:53

Ive got it, i also have three boys. Haven't read it all the way through tbh but the bits ive read have been really interesting. I would of liked exh to read it i think it is good for dads of boys to read.

3littlefrogs Sat 28-May-11 15:52:39

I found it very helpful. It is very sensible, insightful and down to earth.

I would go so far as to say that it would be a useful book for all parents, teachers and government ministers responsible for education and sports to read.

There is so much really poor parenting around. Anything that might help with that is a good idea IMO.

3littlefrogs Sat 28-May-11 15:54:22

OP - why not read it, and then see what you think of it?

WeirdAcronymNotKnown Sat 28-May-11 16:01:10

I read it, and apart from finding it a bit old fashioned (you do mean the Steve Biddulph one don't you?) I enjoyed it, as did DH. There is also a girls one, but not written by the same person (I think he just wrote the intro or something)

I am very much against gender stereotyping, and I think in its appearance the book is actually quite misleading - it's natural to think "oh we should bring up all children the same, therefore the book is sexist" but it's not quite so simple. The book does make it clear that it's important to NOT stereotype your boys. I think it's precisely because there is so much inherent sexism in childrearing (things like not comforting boys as much when they are hurt, not letting them play with dolls etc) that makes this book important.

belgo Sat 28-May-11 16:06:01

Like Portportblacksand, I don't read any parenting books because they are not about my children as individuals.

WhereTheWildThingsWere Sat 28-May-11 16:08:20

There is also a 'Raising Girls' written by his wife and a 'Secrets of Happy Children'. So all bases covered there.

All are very good imo.

coffeeaddict Sat 28-May-11 16:11:52

I think primary school teachers should read it, as they are almost exclusively female and may confuse 'feminine' behaviour with 'good' behaviour.

threecurrantbuns Sat 28-May-11 16:14:13

Well ive just ordered 'Raising Boys' looked at 'Raising girls' lots of bad reviews so gave that one a miss but maybe will read in the future, also ordered another that popped up, 'How to talk so kids will listen and how to listen so kids will talk'

But do also agree about the not reading parenting books, but also cant help myself

geraldinetheluckygoat Sat 28-May-11 16:16:30

I like Steve Bidulph, I haven't read it for ages, but when I was struggling a bit when the boys were smaller, I fould it reassuring. I like his sensible approach, and practical advice in general about how to deal with whining and other behaviour has been used and what worked...
I liked it because it was a really positive read, it had lots of nice things to say about boys and that is refreshing in a world that can SOMETIMES be a bit anti-boy.

rubyrubyruby Sat 28-May-11 16:25:26

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

belgo Sat 28-May-11 16:33:44

Because rubyrubyruby, we can't resist giving our opinion! I never ask for advice on here.

Toughasoldboots Sat 28-May-11 16:41:36

Coffeeaddict has it right- primary school early years can be really hard for boys.

52Girls Sat 28-May-11 16:47:24

It's a good book, some sensible stuff in there.

Cadmum Sat 28-May-11 16:57:24

I have never purchased a parenting book but my dsil had this on her shelf as their ds has 4 sisters. I looked through it this summer and I have to say that it is rather fabulous!

I don't think that all personality differences come down to gender but boys are destined to be men and girls are destined to be women.

Zipitydoda Sat 28-May-11 17:04:13

I have this (and 2, nearly 3 boys). I don't generally read parenting books but it is really good and not prescriptive, more like a psychology text.

Goblinchild Sat 28-May-11 17:12:28

I read it when it first came out in 1998 and I had a 3 yo boy, as well as years of teaching primary under my belt. I thought it was interesting and looked at certain issues from a perspective that I hadn't thought of before. It made me think.

aethelfleda Sat 28-May-11 17:13:29

Looking on the Amazon reviews, Raising Boys gets very high ratings from mothers who "want to understand how boys thinking patterns/logic might differ from their own".

Raising Girls is touted on the reviews as a "Cheap and Non-useful Raising Boys Knockoff".

I suppose it depends what you want from a book. If you're really curious why not see if the local library can order it for you?

quickchat Sat 28-May-11 19:30:19

I haven't read all the posts - im bad for that! Too Impatient.

It is a brilliant book and weather we like it or not - we are different.

It's a bit like 'Men are from Mars Woman are from Venus'. We just function and tick a little differently.

If you watch kids in a nursery you can see where the differences come in.

Boys do like/need more structure. More excercise and definitely clear boundries. They do get a little more competitive too.

I have one of each and although I see my dd play with trucks and soilders and have seen my DS happily prancing around in a fairy dress there is still subtle differences between the way the boys play together on a play date and the way the girls are.

The book is very helpful. I haven't read raising girls.

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