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Parenting

what makes you an unusual mum?

60 replies

NotThereYet · 27/05/2011 13:39

Just wondering what things you do that you don't see other Mums doing, or what aspects of your character you don't think make you typically 'Mum-like'?

OP posts:
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Octaviapink · 27/05/2011 13:51

Not having any television. We haven't had tv for six years, so the children have never seen CBeebies or anything else.

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CheerMum · 27/05/2011 13:54

I think childhood should be FUN

(seems to me a lot of mums i know think this is unusual)

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cfc · 27/05/2011 14:05

I our group of peers, I'm the one who doesn't care about mess and dirty hands etc - or mud in hair, or painting the outside of the house, or the walls inside with chalk. I let the boy make his own mistakes (nothing that looks like it's going to kill him or break an arm!) and I don't talk down to him. We speak on an adult level (well, one way, anyway!!).

I believe as a result I have a boy who doesn't do the flappy hand thing when he gets dirt/paint etc on his them, whereas ALL of the other babies, bar non, do this. He also falls very, very cleverly.

He's also as mad as a box of frogs, but that's more his nature than my nuture, I reckon.

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gourd · 27/05/2011 16:03

Cycling. Not many women do it anyway but even fewer with caring responsibilities. Most can't make that kind of time commitment plus the money for kit/bike etc. I only do it once a week now though, about 60 miles max. Used to cycle 250 miles a week so it's a bit drop. My partner and I met through cycling, so he's very supportive which helps, but breastfeeding does cut down my options for ride time/routes and also evening velodrome sessions aren't possible at all at the moment at all as they interfere too much with feeding/bedtime routine. I expect that once I'm back at work, even if I'm not breastfeeding any more, my evenings and weekends will be even more difficult to fit cycling into as I'll want to spend time with my family, but I'll be cycling to work 5 days a week (an hour each way) which I guess will still make me different to a lot of other Mums.

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Shodan · 27/05/2011 16:26

I'm a first dan in karate.

To 'the outside world' I am an ordinary, middle-class, well-spoken SAHM with probably nothing more taxing to concern me than what I should cook for dinner.

At karate, however, I have a reputation for being somewhat scary to spar with... I like that.

It also means ds1's view me with great respect Grin. Especially since the father of one of them used to train with me and came off worst in a sparring session. According to ds1 and all his friends I 'took him down'. Truth is he slipped and fell all on his own, but as he was sparring me at the time I took the credit blame.

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Shodan · 27/05/2011 16:26

ds1's friends , that should say.

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transactionerror · 27/05/2011 16:28

I'm doing a degree in musical theatre, purely for my own interest. Most mums I know are only interested in the financial benefits of a degree. I'm often involved in amateur friends' productions.

I have a few unusual hobbies, including free running and tightrope walking.

I have an active social life, most of my friends are in their twenties like me and we go to alternative theatre/arts shows and clubbing.

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bejeezus · 27/05/2011 16:45

wow! no offence intended to anyone--but isnt this thread entirely sexist?

to suggest that have interests/hobbies/ passions/ to be GOOD at sport is 'UNMUM LIKE'???!!!!

and also a bit elitist?--more FUN than other mums? come on....

after reading this, I would have to say then; I am unlike other mums because I am not entirely defined by being a mum and I dont feel the need to compare 'my way' with how everyone else does it

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WeirdAcronymNotKnown · 27/05/2011 16:54

We don't have any tv channels - we disconnected it a few months back after realising we were hardly watching it anyway (ie it's not a moral crusade or anything, we just can't be arsed with it). Still watch DVDs a-plenty and play wii though.

I am really really pro-homeschooling but we've decided to send DD to school as she is really excited about it. Will HE in a heartbeat if it's ever necessary. I am currently reading a lot about autonomous education and related topics and it's really changing my view of education as a whole.

Trying to avoid gender stereotypes - not banning pink or anything extreme, but I encourage my DCs (1 of each) to play with whatever they want - DD loves trains, DS loves dolls etc.

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WeirdAcronymNotKnown · 27/05/2011 16:55

It's a bit of fun bejeezus, you're overthinking it :)

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TheMonster · 27/05/2011 16:57

The fact that I don't put DS first makes me unusual. I am not at all maternal and I have been called a reluctant mother.

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AngelDog · 27/05/2011 19:30

Not bothering to close stairgates. It's unusual amongst my mum friends at least.

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PotatoWaffle · 27/05/2011 20:04

And stupid some might say AngelDog. There are things to be relaxed about but broken necks or fractured skulls are something to avoid.

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AngelDog · 27/05/2011 20:29

To be fair, he's slipped 3 times in 8 months, and that only while being distracted supervised by DH. We have 2 flights of stairs and he's up and down at least 20 times a day. Lots of people have commented how safe & confident he is at climbing.

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Reality · 27/05/2011 20:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Reality · 27/05/2011 20:32

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

RobynLou · 27/05/2011 20:35

we've never even had stairgates fitted.

I take DD's to work with me, which is a bit odd in my circle.

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NorksAreMessy · 27/05/2011 20:48

We only had one rule, ' be kind', we let the Dcs (17 and 14) choose their own schools, we allow them to drink wine with meals, talk to them as adults etc. Not amazing or unusual for us, but for the Dcs friends, apparently we are 'liberal' parents.
DCs are both well behaved and calm, though. We might well have behaved differently if they had been little horrors!

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jbcbj · 27/05/2011 21:01

i don't always close the stairgates either....and i'm much less fussed by drawings on the walls/mess etc than many (inc dh...Grin). what gets me the most weird looks though is tandem carrying - dd (2) on the back and ds (2 months) on my front.

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Oblomov · 27/05/2011 21:59

I take 'benign neglect' to a new level.
I don't believe that children are the centre of the universe. They are only one member of our family.

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bidibidi · 28/05/2011 13:40

Doesn't your back break doing that, jbcbj?

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jbcbj · 29/05/2011 12:52

strangely, no - my dd is a tiddler though. i feel quite balanced (and have a wonderfully firm set of gluteus maximi...Grin )

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greencolorpack · 29/05/2011 12:56

I hate Mothers Day and avoid church every year because of Mother's Day and the fuss that's made.

I hate Mother's Day, I feel emotionally messed up on that day and so don't appreciate other people hassling me "You should enjoy it for the kid's sake." Knowing you feel like crap and it's on a day when you're supposed to be all jolly and happy is the worst thing in the world. Like feeling depressed at Christmas, it's against the law you'd think.

This year dh took the children to church and I stayed well out of it, went into town on my own for the day, that's my kind of Mother's Day.

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FilthyRichAndCatflap · 29/05/2011 15:01

I take nights and weekends away by myself away from my kids and DH (mostly for music gigs but sometimes just for some me-time). They think it's great, I love it, so it works for us, but most of my friends think I am unnatural and probably having an affair weird.

I also quite often take the kids away for weekends and short hols by myself when DH is working away. Friends cant understand how I cope!! I even do all the hotel bookings and driving by myself!!

I should add, DH is very hands-on when at home and often has the kids to himself overnight/weekend and manages perfectly well, and enjoys it. My friends think it must be very stressful for me to be "able to leave" 'my' children with their dad....I just respond that I started training him from an early age so that he COULD cope with such a situation Grin. It isnt stressful at all!

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greencolorpack · 29/05/2011 15:05

Filthy, I do that too. I have a male friend who i go away with for weekends sometimes, just to escape family life. It's a platonic friendship and always has been but I know it makes people a bit scandalised sometimes. I don't tell the ones who are scandalised, I just say "I'm going away with a friend" and don't say the gender of the friend.

It's great to get a weekend away. Recharges the batteries. Dh is away this weekend on his own. I don't mind cos I escaped myself for a weekend.

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