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Dd has lost her favourite comforter toy and I'M upset.

(41 Posts)
cupofteaplease Mon 11-Apr-11 19:12:38

Dd2 is 3.10. When she was born, dd1 gave her a bear comforter that she had been given as a baby. Dd2 loved it and as she grew up she carried it everywhere. She held it whilst she sucked her thumb, and rubbed it against her face etc to the point that it was falling apart so I patched it up and repaired it as and when. We had another version of it, but she wouldn't be fooled with it.

As she got older she gave it a name, and when she went to pre school she would take it and hang it on her peg. It became a standing joke as she showed it in Show and Tell every week, saying it was her best friend.

At night I would tuck them both up in bed, and she would whisper to him and tell him how much she loved him.

Yesterday, we went to a large supermarket, and when we came out, we realised the toy hadn't made it out with us. Dh went back in to look, but couldn't find it. I went back, but they wouldn't let me in as they were closing. I left my mobile number in case they found it. Dd went to bed fine without him and told me that it was ok because 'he's just doing a big shop to get me some pink milk and biscuits- he'll be back soon' sad

Dh went back after work today and hunted on his hands and knees, but couldn't find it.

I am so sad about it. I know I am over reacting, I blame my pregnancy hormones. But I still have my childhood toys, my dh has his favourite from when he was a baby, and my Dad had his boyhood teddy that sat on his bed. He has died now, and I still get comfort from giving his teddy a cuddle. I genuinely feel like we have a lost a part of dd2's childhood in losing this bear blush I know how ridiculous that sounds.

I don't know what I hoped to achieve by writing this down, I can't believe I am being upset by a bloody ratty old piece of fabric!

whomovedmychocolate Mon 11-Apr-11 19:15:09

Oh dear

If she's not upset you will have to get over this. I sobbed over the loss of a Pingu toy that DD didn't even notice had gone when pregnant with DS. Tis entirely normal to be a hormonal basketcase wink

LineOnTheLeftOneCrossEach Mon 11-Apr-11 19:17:26

It's not a ratty old piece of fabric. It's your dd's best friend and carries a thousand memories and a lot of love.

Keep going back to the shop. She might have thrust it between some things on a shelf. Did she wander over to any displays? Play with anything? Shove it in a trolley? Basket? Drop it in a display bucket? They might find it, make sure they definitely have your number.

Definitely, definitely took it in the shop with you?

cupofteaplease Mon 11-Apr-11 19:20:21

Definitely took it in the shop. She stayed in the trolley seat throughout and it was a relatively quick in/out visit as it was near closing time.

I know I need to get over it, but I'm having Toy Story 3 visions of the toys feeling they've been abandoned! sad blush

I wanted to keep that bear for dd2 to have as an adult and show to her own children.

BluddyMoFo Mon 11-Apr-11 19:21:59

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

TrinityIsABunnyMunchingRhino Mon 11-Apr-11 19:25:03

I would be exactly the same as you and I'm not pregnant and none of my girls even have a comfort toy

well dd2 has her thumb and dd1 has a cushion but that stays in her bed now

but I had a toy that come everywhere with me and I still have it

I would be in that shop constantly looking searching asking

<maybe they could look at security vids to see what your dd did with it>
you didn't hear that roight grin

<big hugs>
I totally know where you are coming from

are you sure you took it into the shop?
I know you are sure but check the car, and EVERYWHERE it could and couldn't be smile

queenbathsheba Mon 11-Apr-11 19:25:53

Do you have a photo of your DD with the bear that shows the bear clearly. Maybe you could chop a copy of the photo so it just shows the bear. Take into the shop and speak to a supervisor. Perhaps they could show the photo to the store cleaners and shelf stackers.

This has happened to us three times and each time we have been lucky. DS2 has a little blue mouse that has to go everywhere.

LineOnTheLeftOneCrossEach Mon 11-Apr-11 19:26:20

Then it must be in the shop. Get in there. Retrace your steps. Bear in mind if you wheeled the trolley near a shelf, it could be on that shelf, hiding behind something.

FAB5 Mon 11-Apr-11 19:28:27

You are not daft. DD still talks about the cuddly she lost 3 years ago and how sad she is. She doesn't believe me when I say he went home with another child and is fine. The shop we bought him from wouldn't help with a replacement.

mrsravelstein Mon 11-Apr-11 19:30:15

ds1 lost his treasured blanket in a hotel in florida when he was 2.5 (it got left in the bed and scooped up when the bedsheets were changed, taken to some sort of industrial laundry and never seen again despite many phonecalls). the blanket had come from abroad somewhere, and we'd never thought to source a 'spare'.

ds2 left his treasured cat (dutch manufacturer, bought in Hong Kong of all places) on holiday last year, we spent a lot of time on the phone to Holland and to HK but still failed to get a replacement.

when dd came along and got totally hooked on a snuggly blanket toy (this time from canada, helpful) i went on ebay and got TEN spares, which are all now littered in her cot so they're basically interchangeable.

hope it turns up!

cupofteaplease Mon 11-Apr-11 19:35:21

Ooh, you are giving me hope now! I had given up.

Trinity- don't joke, I woke up in the middle of the night and thought, 'hmm CCTV...'!

That is a great idea about taking in a picture, but honestly, the store is huge. Dh went in this afternoon and warned the staff on the customer services desk that he would be going round on his hands and knees looking under the shelves, and not to be alarmed if anyone made a complaint grin They were quite bemused, and said, 'Oh, it must be pretty important to you' and dh replied that he was part of the family sad

They claim that it can't be on a shelf, as they were all tidied and restocked last night.

BluddyMoFo that is a terribly sad story sad I wonder whatever happened to it? I mean, who would actually find a soft toy and do anything with it, other than hand it into a member of staff? I'm bemused about your dd's toy, and mine.

Bluebell99 Mon 11-Apr-11 19:36:54

Have you read a Book called "Tatty Ratty"? It's about a little girl's rabbit who gets lost and about the adventures he had, and it ends with the family going to get Tatty Ratty from a big toy store. (He looks a bit different, bit cleaner, shinier, newer!) Might be worth a read. It's still one of my daughter's favourite books

cupofteaplease Mon 11-Apr-11 19:37:46

mrsravelstein, we did have a spare, which we've given to dd2, but she never wanted to know it, as she knew it wasn't 'The One'.

I'm thinking about not encouraging a special toy for this new baby. Dd1 never had a favourite and we never had this heartache!

TrinityIsABunnyMunchingRhino Mon 11-Apr-11 19:37:47

<whispers> I would do it....

TrinityIsABunnyMunchingRhino Mon 11-Apr-11 19:39:34

oh god, if I found what was obviously a comfort toy I would bedesperate to reunite it with its owner
serioulsy I am way to sensitive

queenbathsheba Mon 11-Apr-11 19:49:46

Recently we have put the original blue mouse in a box to keep and DS has accepted the twin mouse as replacement. Maybe your DD will take to a new one. Maybe arrange a special day trip to choose the new one.

DS1 is ten and still takes his snowman to bed, on holiday, long journeys and to stay at Granny's.

ImNotThere Mon 11-Apr-11 19:56:09

Left in the trolley?

Could you put an ad in the local paper?

strawberrie Mon 11-Apr-11 21:30:21

We had a similar experience just before Christmas, this is our story of hope.

My DD's close friend Mr Snuggles got dropped from the buggy somewhere between our flat and visiting a friend less than 10 mins walk away; I was reasonably sure I would find it on the way home but it was dark and snowy, and he was nowhere to be seen.

In my pregnant and hormonal state, I was devastated at the prospect of him lying out in the snow, cold and alone. Fortunately DD had 3 different comforters from the same range so was content enough with the other 2. We retraced our steps several times, and couldn't find him.

A good three weeks later, into the new year and after the snow had thawed, my husband came home from work, triumphantly clutching a very grubby and bedraggled Snuggles, which he had spotted beneath the wheels of a parked car. After a good soak in Napisan, he was fit to be reunited with DD and has only one oil mark and a little tear to show for his ordeal.

Now he is the only Snuggle allowed out of the house and has a label with our phone number on.

I really hope yours turns up; do keep trying as sometimes these things take a bit of time to surface.

cupofteaplease Mon 11-Apr-11 21:44:55

<Sniff> That's a lovely story, strawberrie smile

It is not our local supermarket, but I will go back on Wednesday and have another look with fresh eyes. It definitely wasn't in the trolley, that's how we knew it was gone, as the trolley was bare.

'I was devastated at the prospect of him lying out in the snow, cold and alone' My imagination was working overtime last night and I was imagining him saying, 'Where did you go? Come and get me!' blush blush I can't believe she has gone to bed for her second ever night without her best buddy sad

BluddyMoFo Mon 11-Apr-11 21:49:03

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

NellyTheElephant Mon 11-Apr-11 22:51:56

I am so pathetic, it makes me sad reading this.... DD lost her beloved cuddly dolphin shortly after starting Reception. They were all allowed to take a toy in one day and against my better judgement I let her take in her dolphin, we went over and over how she must be careful, not lose it etc. Anyway, when I picked her up from school she had it - 'look Mummy I haven't lost her', then she shoved the dolphin back in her bag. When we got home I realised she hadn't properly zipped the bag shut and dolphin had dropped out somewhere along the way / on the bus. It was heart rending. She kept saying I CAN'T have lost her Mummy I had her, didn't you see.......she was devastated and so was I.

I got in touch with the bus lost property dept, walked the streets, but to no avail. I tried to get another one, but no luck. She had a little bed that she usually used to tuck dolphin into before she went to school and for ages it stayed on her bedside table waiting.... I actually found myself crying on quite a few occasions as I was so sad for her and also, being a totally crazy mother I couldn't help picture poor beloved dolphin being squashed and run over and swept up by street sweepers into the bin.....! I soon put the little dolphin bed away as we all found it too painful!

Anyway, she got over it pretty quickly in the end, but she has NOT forgotten. It's now getting on for 2 years later but she still mentions it occasionally and if we see a cuddly dolphin in a shop she will often comment on whether it looks like her dolphin or not and how she wishes she hadn't lost her.

deedee321 Mon 11-Apr-11 23:33:26

God, doesn't sound silly to me either, sounds so sad. DON'T give up, he must be somewhere in that shop!
My dd has Bunny. We lost him once in a supermarket - I was halfway through packing shopping into bags while all the items were being scanned when I realised he was lost. I grabbed dd out of the trolley, said to bewildered checkout person 'sorry to abandon the shopping but WE HAVE LOST BUNNY' blush and searched every aisle with a pounding heart. We did get him eventually. Someone had handed him in. I had a little tear at the Customer Services counter when we saw him ( I know this sounds completely ridiculous - it was the thought of all the places she would miss him, in her bed every night, in all her imaginative games, on her first day of nursery...I couldn't bear it).
Go back and keep going back. I'm all for having no shame grin! Though I felt very embarrassed returning to claim my shopping!

IHeartKingThistle Mon 11-Apr-11 23:52:57

FFS I'm reading this with tears in my eyes over the Very Important Bunny Who Got Left On The Bus last year.

I rang the bus company and when they told me he wasn't on the bus at the end of the route I put the phone down and sobbed. DD still occasionally says 'do you remember when you cried when we lost Bunny?'

She accepted a replacement eventually but has never forgotten. Last week Bunny's little blanket came loose and because I am a Bad Mother I didn't get round to sewing it back on immediately. Of course, of course it's gone missing. Turns out the little blanket was actually the comforter all along. sad

Yesterday we went through a pile of DDs old clothes for a fabric that 'felt' similar and made a new little blanket. I can't believe it but she's now going to bed with a little square of an old dressing gown.

Honestly, it's so ridiculous but I feel like I let her down by letting that first one get left on the bus. We'd just got that lovely story 'Dogger' and we've never read it since - that little boy FINDS his toy sad.

I need to get a grip, right?

IHeartKingThistle Mon 11-Apr-11 23:54:46

Sorry, I meant to say I hope you find Bear OP!

differentnameforthis Tue 12-Apr-11 03:36:17

I completely sympathise! Dd1 has often lost her favourite childhood toy that can't be replaced. As it is, she is on mark2, because her aunt took her for a walk when she was 1 & lost it! But she was, at the time, too young to notice the swap! But now the shop doesn't sell them any more & no luck on ebay etc!

So he is under house arrest. been for a few years now (dd is 7 now) as she still adores him & can't sleep without him.

There was always a huge sigh of 'here we go again' when she'd shout 'I can't find cat'

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