Advice please about 10 year old ds

[seeker]

My ds is a happy go lucky soul usually, but he has been knocked for six by the death of his grandmother 4 weeks ago. He was fine at first, very matter of fact and practical, but since the funeral he has been finding it very hard to sleep and has generally been quite fragile. I'm letting him have a day off today because he didn;t get to sleep til gone midnight and was so tired and floppy when he woke up this morning.
I've two questions. Is there anything i can do apart from what i'm doing? Lots of reassurance and cuddles when he wants, normal routine of exercise and good meals, no tv and quiet time ane warm milk before bed. and story tape and music as ususal to go to sleep with. Any other ideas to help him sleep?

And - a trivial question - if he's been off school is it all right for me to take him to after school rugby?

[NormanTheForeman]

I have a 10 year old ds, but he hasn't recently had a bereavement. I would say the most important thing would be to keep talking to him. Has he wanted to talk about his grandmother much since her death? If he can, then I think that might help him come to terms with the loss, rather than if he tries to put it to the back of his mind. I'm pretty sure it would help my ds if he was in a similar situation.

I would say the rugby would be fine. It would give him some exercise, and something different to think about, as well as company. Difficult really, because you probably need to keep a fine line between keeping him busy enough, and overloading him so he gets too tired.

[MillsAndDoom]

I think you're doing all the right things. My g/f died when I was 8 and although we weren't close and my Dad didn't grieve for him so there was no great upset in our lives, it was the first time that I became truly aware of death and subsequently became very clingy to my parents - fearful that they may die, obsessing about their age and their health.

And yes to the rugby

[seeker]

Thank you. My concern about rugbyis that it's a school - I don;t want his little friends saying "what are you doing her if you were off". Sorry, didn;t express myself very clearly.

He is talking about his grandma and he's making a memory book with his big sister. He's sad that we don;t seem to have a recording of her voice. I'm sad aboutt hat too - can't believe we haven't got one somewhere but we don;t seem to have.

[NormanTheForeman]

I think if you explain the circumstances to the school they should understand. Your ds could always tell his friends he wasn't feeling very good when he got up this morning, but is feeling better now.

Do you have any video footage (camcorder etc) of his gran? That might have her voice on. Or maybe someone else in your family might have some footage that they could get copied for you....